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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to offer advice???

100 replies

grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:05

I'm concerned about my gc - he doesn't have set bedtimes and he grazes throughout the day, and drinks from a bottle. HE is not potty trained. He is 2 yo. I'm a bit worried the lack of routine will store up more problems later on, my son and DIL don't seem to care. Should I persist with advising them or leave them to get on with it?? I'm considering inviting him to stay with me and trying to potty train him myself.

OP posts:
ohmyfucksy · 09/05/2011 21:06

I think two is quite young to be potty-trained

Some kids are ready by then but most aren't

BluddyMoFo · 09/05/2011 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:07

There is a nappy rash issue - it's not very healthy if he's not changed regularly - I think he gets uncomfortable.

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 09/05/2011 21:08

This reply has been deleted

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NimpyWindowmash · 09/05/2011 21:08

MYOB

nethunsreject · 09/05/2011 21:09

Nah, keep out of it. If you are ASKED then offer your twopence-worth, but please do not offer otherwise. My MIL's unwanted advice has driven us apart. Sad

Why not check out Gransnet - I am sure you could find other grans in the same predicament! Click on the ad on the right.

280169 · 09/05/2011 21:09

leave them to it, it will end in tears.Rarely are 18 yo in nappies let it happen naturally.

Its their choice the best thing you can do is support them.

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:09

I am a mother first and and grandmother second.

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 09/05/2011 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluddyMoFo · 09/05/2011 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flisspaps · 09/05/2011 21:10

Let them get on with it, unless you think they're actually being genuinely neglectful.

florencedougal · 09/05/2011 21:10

yeah mind your own business - leave a little kid in pain and neglect why dont you!

Needanewname · 09/05/2011 21:11

How do you get on with your DIL?

Have you seen all the interferring MIL threads onhere?

I'd advise being very careful if I were you.

Potty training - 2 actually isn;t that old, however I agree that nappy changes should still be pretty frequent to prevent sore bits.

Personally I much prefer a routine, however this doesn't suit everyone - you need to but out!

I also don;t like bottles, but again this is not your child, maybe buy him an age appropriate cup for him to have at your house, but for the sake of your relationship with your Son, DIL and GC I'd leave well alone if I were you.

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:11

No not neglect - I know school aged kids in nappies just improvements that might help things later on.

OP posts:
Needanewname · 09/05/2011 21:12

You are a mother to your son, not your GC

squeakytoy · 09/05/2011 21:12

If he is grazing on sweets, chocolate and cake then that would be a problem, but if it is healthy stuff, then I wouldnt be concerned.

2 is young to be potty trained, but if they are leaving him in wet nappies for hours on end, again, that would be a concern.

Bedtimes, you cant really get involved in anyway. That is upto the parents, not you. (Although I agree, there should be a routine).

It all depends on how receptive they would be to taking advice from you. If they are young parents without a lot of experience, then perhaps some gentle help is needed, and it could be that they are struggling but are afraid to ask in case people think they cant cope. Tread carefully.

BluddyMoFo · 09/05/2011 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bustersmummy · 09/05/2011 21:12

My DS had terrible nappy rash.

Really bad nappy rash. My MIL tore me to shreds one day and insisted on taking him for the weekend and she would sort it out.

I was fuming. DH (he is now the ex) didn't back me.

Strangely, he came back with the same nappy rash (changing to resuables which were not easy to get 19 years ago lol cured it)

Please keep your nose out unless there is actual neglect.

BluddyMoFo · 09/05/2011 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:13

I think it might be the nursery leaving him wet tbh. Potty training would solve it. The food is relatively heathy I think.

OP posts:
Hassled · 09/05/2011 21:14

When you had your children, did your MIL give you advice? Try to take over? Did you thank her for it?

Forget the potty training thing - 2 is too young for most boys. They just don't have the bladder control - they're unable to read the "I need a wee" signs. Really, you need to leave it.

And the rest - hsi parents will make mistakes. We all do. But they have the right to make their own mistakes. Do not offer advice unless specifically asked, and that way you'll have the chance to get to know and enjoy your gc.

bustersmummy · 09/05/2011 21:14

He is only 2.

He's plenty young enough to still be in nappies.

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:14

When given a sippy cup he throws it across the room

OP posts:
bustersmummy · 09/05/2011 21:15

I doubt he'll be drinking champagne from a bottle at his wedding

squeakytoy · 09/05/2011 21:15

But thats what toddlers do!

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