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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to offer advice???

100 replies

grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:05

I'm concerned about my gc - he doesn't have set bedtimes and he grazes throughout the day, and drinks from a bottle. HE is not potty trained. He is 2 yo. I'm a bit worried the lack of routine will store up more problems later on, my son and DIL don't seem to care. Should I persist with advising them or leave them to get on with it?? I'm considering inviting him to stay with me and trying to potty train him myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:15

My MIL gave me lots of advice - I was grateful for someone experienced to help me.

OP posts:
nethunsreject · 09/05/2011 21:15

www.gransnet.com/

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:16

Thanks for the link but like I said I am a mother first a grandmother second.

OP posts:
Ishani · 09/05/2011 21:18

Nursery will have a set routine as to when he is changed, that information will be available in his daily diary, can you sneak a peak at it ?
I doubt very much that nursery are leaving him wet because the implication for them are grave.
However I change my baby 6 times a day and he's never had nappy rash, my girls were changed hourly and did have it quite often so you cannot judge.

amistillsexy · 09/05/2011 21:18

Which is probably why they still give him a bottle! Hmm

squeakytoy · 09/05/2011 21:18

but, you are a gran to the person you are worried about, not a mother. the child has a mother. :)

bustersmummy · 09/05/2011 21:18

Grannyhen - you are not that child's mother

You are his Grandmother, not his mother.

Seriously you need to disengage and step back a bit.

amistillsexy · 09/05/2011 21:18

Throwing the cup I mean. Typing too slow!

Ishani · 09/05/2011 21:18

Is your son in nappies ? Oh sorry I misunderstood I thought it was your grandchild who has a mother that was in question.

280169 · 09/05/2011 21:19

personally I hate routine, if its a nice night and we want to stay out late we do.I love holdays when we can do what we like.

You are saying food is ok, child is not neglected.

I cant see the problem, its just not your way of parenting that does not make it wrong.

They sound laid back which also has its benifits later on in life.Let them enjoy their child their way, relax and enjoy him with them.

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:19

I just want the best for all children.

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 09/05/2011 21:20

2 is young for potty training. You need to keep out...and as to having him and training him yourself... Shock

280169 · 09/05/2011 21:21

i understand that and its great that you care, but what is best i different for all of us just the same as what is normal.You need to let the find their best.

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:21

It's all very well to keep out but I do want to help them.

OP posts:
bustersmummy · 09/05/2011 21:21

Grannyhen - you are not the child's mother or father.

Your Son and DIL are the child's parents, it is not for you to decide.

You really are interfering and over stepping the mark.

You do need to leave them to parent their way.

Flisspaps · 09/05/2011 21:21

Inviting the child to yours and then attempting to potty train him is not offering advice.

Many of the posters on your thread about caring for your GD suggested you were a bit too involved there too. I appreciate it must be hard to not want to be doing things or offering advice and it's lovely that you want to help, but in all honesty - you do seem to be a bit TOO involved.

280169 · 09/05/2011 21:22

sorry is different not i different

Original poster
grannyhen · 09/05/2011 21:22

Bottles can damage the development of teeth. How could he cope at school if he gets up late?

OP posts:
MainlyMaynie · 09/05/2011 21:22

You aren't seriously considering trying to potty train him yourself are you? You sound way over-involved. Step back and let the boy's parents decide what's right for him, he's not yours.

bustersmummy · 09/05/2011 21:22

You want what you perceive to be the best.

But your best may not be their best IYSWIM?

I am sure they have the best interests of their own child at heart you know.

budgieshell · 09/05/2011 21:22

Try hard to remember what you where like when you had a 2 year old.
Did you like and need advice from your elders?
How would you have felt about some one potty training your child for you?
Did you find it stressful being a mum?
Did you feel advice was a backhanded way of telling you you where doing it all wrong?
How would you have felt if someone made you feel like you where doing everything wrong?
Answers these questions truthfully and you will know what to do.

Ishani · 09/05/2011 21:22

All children, you are starting to sound like Whitney Houston.

All children are not your concern, you'll fall out with your DIL if you stick your beak in, choose your battles wisely is my advice.

bustersmummy · 09/05/2011 21:23

He is not your child. It is not your decision to make.

He's 2. He won't be going to school for ages and ages. It'll sort itself out.

Needanewname · 09/05/2011 21:23

Yes you are a mother but as has been pointed out so many times you are not this childs mother, you are his grandmother, he already has a mother.

I really thingk you will get more sympathy on gransnet than on mumsnet for this particular situation. You need only look briefly to find many (negative) threads on interferring MIL which is how your DIL may see you if you keep going on.

Thats great that you appreciated the advice from your MIL, thats doesn't necessarily mean that your DIL will apprecate advice from you.

You have asked for advice and you have received it, I'm sorry its not the advice you were looking for but there you go!

NinkyNonker · 09/05/2011 21:24

You received much advice on your other thread to back off and leave your children be. They are adults, respect them as such.

Swipe left for the next trending thread