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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to congratulate a friend who has been voted in as a local councillor.

26 replies

sittinginthesun · 07/05/2011 09:15

For every single reason I didn't support my friend. Don't agree with my friend's political views; don't agree with their party; don't think my friend will make a good councillor as they are stupidly busy already; really liked the person who they stood against and thought they were doing a fantastic job.

All my local friends are all excited, sending me texts and emails. I'm just keeping my head down.

OP posts:
FreudianSlipOnACrown · 07/05/2011 09:19

YANBU. if your friend was upset and expecting lots of praise and congratulations, she was doing it for the wrong reasons imo

roundthehouses · 07/05/2011 09:19

erk difficult. If they are your friend I guess it is reasonable that they would expect you to be happy for them on a personal level that they have attained what I presume to be a pretty great acheivement for them? Is there no way you could congratulate them for this while maintaining your political differences??

SandStorm · 07/05/2011 09:21

You don't sound a very good friend if you can't even bring yourself to say congratulations on her personal achievements, whatever your political beliefs.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 07/05/2011 09:22

I think you should, sorry.

My BIL has also been recently elected and I was pleased to see a mutual friend who has very opposing views to me, DH and DBIL, congratulated BIL on his win.

So you can still be happy for them on a personal level while disagreeing with them on a political level.

FreudianSlipOnACrown · 07/05/2011 09:23

I do think you should give a 'token' congratulations but no need to go OTT

KaraStarbuckThrace · 07/05/2011 09:24

The thought has occured to me, he isn't a BNP candidate? If that is the case (which I doubt as I think there were only 2 BNP counsellors elected in the whole country last I checked), then YABVU for having some one like that as a friend...

Itsjustafleshwound · 07/05/2011 09:25

Congratulate her for becoming a councillor - what her political agenda and views are is besides the point. She hasn't changed her views overnight so why the change in heart - it just looks churlish

Lucyinthepie · 07/05/2011 09:27

You could be gracious and congratulate her on her personal achievement. I think you could maybe separate your political feelings from the fact that your friend has succeeded in something that means a lot to her.

florencedougal · 07/05/2011 09:29

agree with the others, you arent a nice friend if you cant be pleased for someone's achievement, regardless of political views

even MPs of opposing sides like each other away from the political scene

AlpinePony · 07/05/2011 09:32

Yabu and childish.

LineRunner · 07/05/2011 09:32

I have just congratulated a local man who was elected a Conservative councillor. (I'm a fervent non-Tory.) If he does his casework, and sticks up for local people over bad planning applications, and opposes inappropriate late licenses, then he'll be a good local councillor. Yes, the other candidates were all great people, but he's the one who won.

I would wish your friend well and ask her what her priorities are going to be for the local area. You must have some things you'd like to see her tackle? Put her to good use!

Original poster
sittinginthesun · 07/05/2011 09:37

Not BNP:)

I haven't seen my friend yet, but when I do, I think I will have to bite my tongue and say well done. I'm normally quite a nice person, but this one just feels a bit weird. Guess that's why I'm letting out a bit of steam on here, because I can't do it in real life!

OP posts:
xstitch · 07/05/2011 09:37

YABU you should be polite and say congratulations no need to be gushy. One of my friends has been voted in as an MSP. A mutual friends campaigns vigorously for another party, she has still said congratulations to him.

NinkyNonker · 07/05/2011 09:38

Of course Yabu.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 07/05/2011 10:17

No. You must congratulate your friend if your friendship means much to you.

You can't hate her beliefs that much if she is a friend, surely? I am not friends with people whose beliefs I find repugnant. So a difference of political views has not stopped you being friends and as her friend, you should congratulate her on acheiving something like this. It's a big thing for her.

And your other mate had no entitlement, so it's not like she came along and stole it from her Grin the voters were given a choice and they chose.

Just say well done, you must be really chuffed.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/05/2011 10:23

You'll just look petulant and jealous. Why have a friend whom you won't support? You must make decisions in your life that people disagree with, don't you expect your friends to stand by you regardless? I think you're a bit jealous that she's been elected, she obviously has the support.

As Hecate says, just say something like "You must be so thrilled" with a friend punch pat on the arm.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 07/05/2011 10:26

If I were her I would expect you to be able to separate the friend from the politics.

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 07/05/2011 10:27

She does not sound like a friend to me...if it were my friend who I have different veiws to, I would be very happy for her. You simply sound jealous!

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 07/05/2011 11:30

Did they beat a Lib Dem? If so YABVU and should throw them a party.

lockets · 07/05/2011 11:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkstarlight · 07/05/2011 12:23

you might not agree with your friends views but i dont understand why your not pleased for her after all she is suppose to be your friend.

BluddyMoFo · 07/05/2011 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 07/05/2011 13:12

Given that the majority of councillors are elected on the basis of the party they represent rather than it being a personal popularity ability contest, winning a local government election is not that much of an achievement.

As I suspect that the relevant political party conducted the campaign and all your friend had to do was put herself about a bit, I'd suck grit my teeth and say 'I'm pleased for you' which seems more appropriate than 'well done'.

Dozer · 07/05/2011 13:20

Yabu.

Izzywizzy - I think it's a big achievement!

Original poster
sittinginthesun · 07/05/2011 13:35

Okay, thanks everyone. Point well and truly taken. Running off to hide now (as I say, I'm a nice person really). x

OP posts: