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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So what do we think of a man who is a big old sulky chops because

74 replies

ineedasaagbhajiNOW · 06/05/2011 21:54

I am going out for the day with old friends, yes there will be exes there too.

I never go out, unless to the cinema or gym ALONE, I have no friends, I visit his sisters and that is ok too but if I want to go out with my own sister or any of my old mates if they happen to be around this is what happens. Silent treatment, threats to dump me, doesnt want to be emotionally involved with me anymore. Doesnt have anything to do whatsoever with me going out for my day out though, Oh No, its just all of a sudden occurred to him that he doesnt like me very much and is not sure he wants to be with me. Funny though that this happens every time I go on this annual day out and any other time where I might be meeting up with old friends.

I have never been unfaithful by the way, just keep in occasional touch with old friends and some ex boy friends with bi annual emails and occasional messages on face book.

What shall we do with a man like this?

OP posts:
CareyFakes · 06/05/2011 21:56

I'd dump him

Flisspaps · 06/05/2011 21:57

Tell him to stop being a fuckwit and to grow the fuck up

Original poster
ineedasaagbhajiNOW · 06/05/2011 21:57

He just will not admit it though, will not admit that this is what it is about, it really messes with my mind, what if it isnt that? What if he really doesnt like me anymore and so on.

Its time to dump isn't it? Its been going on a while now.

OP posts:
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 06/05/2011 21:59

Yes. It's time to end this relationship. He's a PITA and manipulative. Life is too short.

Happymm · 06/05/2011 21:59

We think he's an insecure control freak who should be dumped,as he's only gonna get worse :(

peggotty · 06/05/2011 21:59

He sounds hideous. Why do you have no friends? Because of him presumably? 'big old sulky chops' doesn't quite cover it does it?

Numberfour · 06/05/2011 21:59

At the risk of sounding like a MN stuck record: dump him. It will not change. Leopard and spots and all that.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 06/05/2011 22:00

It's not behaviour that I'd tolerate, but you obviously have for a long time. Whatever you do, if you have children around, they're learning how relationships work from watching this. Do you want them to think that it's normal that when they're in a relationship it means they don't need friends anymore?

elmofan · 06/05/2011 22:00

He sounds insecure & controlling.
RUN

Original poster
ineedasaagbhajiNOW · 06/05/2011 22:02

Well I had dc and no one else did so they all sort of drifted away, most of them live abroad as well. But I do still keep in regular contact with them and like I say we have this annual meet up. I think his nonsense has just crept up on me. I have never really bought into it, never not gone and done something because he didnt want me to or anything like that, it is just there has not been a lot to do because not many mates about.

OP posts:
purplepidjin · 06/05/2011 22:05

Call his bluff. Tell him that as he feels that way, you want a trial seperation and he needs to find somewhere else to live for a minimum of three months.

He'll either take you up on it or shape up!

Oh, and ignore the sulks and see your family and friends more often. Give him a chance to get used to it Wink

troisgarcons · 06/05/2011 22:08

*I am going out for the day with old friends, yes there will be exes there too.

I never go out, unless to the cinema or gym ALONE, I have no friends,*

no friends or just old ones ??? if you are stupid enough to ask what you should do in a relationship- then you aren't mature enough to be in one.

FriedSpamButty · 06/05/2011 22:10

Yup dump and run. Any man who doesn't want his partner to have her own friends and see them whenever she chooses is bad news full stop.

I wouldn't even give him a backwards glance. He sounds like an inadequate loser.

Original poster
ineedasaagbhajiNOW · 06/05/2011 22:11

Oh piss off you nasty twat troisgarcons.

That post says more about you than it does about me.

OP posts:
icooksocks · 06/05/2011 22:14

Sometimes an outsiders perspective is helpful, no need for the nastiness troisgarcons

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 06/05/2011 22:15

Yep. Get rid.

(and ignore that fool above)

anonymosity · 06/05/2011 22:15

He sounds about as interesting and sophisticated as a fart in a duvet. Be rid, as fast as possible, unless of course he is your perfect match and you enjoy creating drama out of nothing.

BelleDameSansMerci · 06/05/2011 22:16

I second FriedSpam's advice...

Original poster
ineedasaagbhajiNOW · 06/05/2011 22:19

"He sounds about as interesting and sophisticated as a fart in a duvet. Be rid, as fast as possible, unless of course he is your perfect match and you enjoy creating drama out of nothing."

That made me laugh. No I am very non dramatic, just want a quiet life really but feel rather deflated about a day I should have been looking forward to.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 06/05/2011 22:19

Nowt worse than a sulker thinking they'll get what they want by acting like a 5 YO.

Insecure, immature (in that he doesn't know how to discuss how he feels about it, and pretends it's you and not him) and very unattractive.

It's almost like he wan't you to remember how he reacts and not bother going out the next time you're asked Hmm

It's not something I'd take any notice of if he was a really nice person the rest of the time.

If it's starting to creep into other areas, I'd be tempted to rethink being together.

PuuuuurrrrrLeeeeeasse · 06/05/2011 22:22

purplepidjin gave the best advice

call his bluff and get rid

life is too short

Original poster
ineedasaagbhajiNOW · 06/05/2011 22:35

Hmmm, no he is not actually very nice the rest of the time either.

Its all just so bloody tiring this break up stuff though isn' it? Mind you he has done it for me really I suppose.

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 06/05/2011 22:38

I agree with purplepidjin - call his bluff. Being 'threatened' puts my back up so much that I force the issue and make them follow through or back down. Either way, it should put an end to his sulking.

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/05/2011 22:42

"Mind you he has done it for me really I suppose." ?? Not following you, OP.

AgentZigzag · 06/05/2011 22:43

Oh dear, if he's not very nice the rest of the time are you thinking you'd rather be with someone however shit he is than be on your own?

It can't be the case.

There are nice blokes out there, and it's nicer to be on your own than walking on eggshells all the time.

You're worth more than this man.

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