by giving up on a friend?

Just leave it. It sounds like she might be jelous of your family life, otherwise, unless you've been rubbing it in her face (which it doesn't sound as if you have), she's just a twat. Either way, you have certainly grown apart, and I would leave it. if she ever changes her mind (perhaps when she has a child herself), she might come to you. But forget about her and enjoy your baby.

Why would you even want to try and stay friends with someone who is such a twat to you?

You havent done anything wrong. She has.

Give her ten years to grow up a bit then try again?

People often do grow apart for a time when their lives are in different stages and then can be friends again at a later date (you said yourself that there had been periods of time when you hadnt seen each other for a while). Perhaps when she has grown up a bit, realised that the world doesn't revolve around her and stopped (frankly) being a bit of a bitch you might be able to reignite the friendship. If you want. Which really I wouldn't! Life is too short to waste time on people who make you feel bad about yourself and your choices. Don't feel bad about the fact that you have such a history - it is not your shitty behaviour that has ended the friendship, but hers! Just concentrate on the lovely family you and your DH have created. Congratulations btw!

I think your DH is right, difficult as it is. You have bigger priorities in your life now. She sounds like one of those women who will slag everything you do but when it is her turn it will miraculously be different!

It's probably rooted in jealousy/insecurity but that doesn't justify it.

You will make new friends as your DS gets older.

She seems to have made herself pretty clear so despite the fact that you know she's not being entirely rational I'd call her bluff.

I would guess she is jealous, I would leave her be and wait to see if she comes round in a few months/years.

This is the second friends-being-twats-after-the-birth-of-a-baby thread in a week.

I have recently just cut out a jealous and spiteful friend. I persevered with the friendship for ages because I didn't want to throw ten years away.

It hurts and I miss her. But it was the right thing to do. The nastyness and horibble times outweighed the good times.

Mug her right off.

She's made her feelings clear, probably jealous, but I wouldn't push it further. Maybe in a few years time she'll realise what a bint she's being and apologise and you'll be mates again, but I wouldn't go out of my way to initiate that.

"After leaving she sent me a text saying we had nothing in common anymore" - she doesn't want you to contact her again.

Its very hurtful but you don't need to be friends with someone who doesn't appear to like you much. Cross her off your Christmas card list, delete her number from your phone, delete her from your facebook and get on with your life.

Leave the stupid bitch to it.

what a cow.
i understand someone having those views, but what she has done is blatantly hurt you.
seems she has gone out of her way to be mean and spiteful

leave her alone, no loss to you

I think you have to accept that you've already lost her - and not through anything you've done. She sounds wildly jealous of your happy situation and is handling it all horribly. Please don't chase her - she's being a complete bitch and if she can't bite her tongue and be happy for you and make an effort to take an interest in your baby when you've been BFs for so long then I really don't see that you're losing much. Friends come and go and sometimes we lose the ones we least expect to, but it happens to all of us.

She sounds very childish and very jealous.

Leave her be. You have different priorities to her and she doesn't respect that. She doesn't sound like much of a friend.

Get on with your life and enjoy your lovely new DS.

Wow what a bitch! She's just horrible, unsupportive and really not what you (or anyone!) needs in their life. You need to let the friendship go. Find out about local mum and baby groups and get out there and make new friends. I did, it was scary at first but it gets easier with practice.

OP - just to add - I know it's not as easy as we are all saying, partly because you probably feel particularly emotional at the moment, but it does seem pretty clear. Maybe you'll get back in touch later, but .....

I don't actually think you have the option, she's basically told you how she feels about your friendship and it's not as if you have a choice.

In your position, I'd put the friendship behind me and find other friends. Friendships aren't always for life. Don't feel badly about it. Good luck!

She sounds like a hideous person and somone you are well rid of, i agree with other posters that she sounds jealous of you and your happiness. As much as it hurts you right now i think it would be best just to write this friendship. Concentrate on your family and don't let this woman spoil your happiness, You deserve better!

She treats you like that and you think she's a mate and you want her in your life?

Do you have low self esteem?

Honestly, just bin her. she's made it very clear how little she cares about you. She sounds envious every step of the way.

I knew there would be loads of posts saying just forget her. I do understand. I've known my good friends since primary school. It is true that you go through phases in life and leave people behind on the way but friendship isn't like a primark t shirt. Long friendships are special and it is lovely that you wonder what to do rather than forgetting her straight away. Tbh if the people suggesting this are really able to forget a friend of ten years then they are very very hard hearted.

But, as others have said, she has decided that she can't cope with this change in your situation. She is jealous and immature. You can't do anything about it. You too are probably adjusting to the idea that you are entering a new phase of your life and may lose things. Plus, you are probably tired and hormonal and not able to think straight. She can't handle being friends with you, you should not waste your energy fretting. Something very similar happened to me with a friend of 20 years. There's no need to 'dump' or decide she's 'bitch' your life is not an East Enders episode. Just tell your self she has problems and then leave it.

I think that as she matures and settles in her own life she might come back to you and will try to make amends. In the meantime her feelings are too strong to argue with so leave it and enjoy your baby !

Sounds like a very serious case of jealousy and downright bitchiness to me. I had a similar situation with my best friend a few years ago. We became friends in secondary school, spent a lot of time together. I got together with my DH at uni and she went totally loopy, saying she hated him, despite not knowing him at all. She even went so far as to say that if he was at any events, such as my birthday party, she wouldn't attend and had the gall to be shocked when I didn't automatically say that I wouldn't invite my own fiance (at the time) to my birthday party!! I tried to reason with her numerous times but I had to cut her out in the end as she refused to be sensible. What surprised me was that I didn't miss her one little bit. I realised that she had always been selfish and controlling and that I gained nothing from the friendship.

She got back in contact again recently and seems to have matured somewhat but I really couldn't be arsed to make the effort with her any more, too much has happened. It's a shame but really I have benefited from no longer being her friend.