to ask you to help me compile a list of impossibilities?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

Along the lines of:

smile during a smear.

keep your eyes open when sneezing.

smudge a tattoo.

nail jelly to the ceiling.

Thanks.

get a consensus of opinion on MN

Being able to smile at my dh without being asked in a suspicious tone "What do you want?"

Knit fog

have a bath/wash your hair/ have a shower/ go to the loo without DH/ DC needing you at that precise second...

Herd cats

Good good.

Keep going.

Procur Tartan paint.

Watch Eastenders (or any TV really) without my son shouting "Muuuuuuuuum" !!

Empty out a washing-up bowl and not find a teaspoon still there at the bottom

To not get angry when my newspaper/magazine gets read before I read it.

Workmen arriving on time

Second cup of tea tasting as good as the first

DD getting out of bed without moaning.
Juggle gekkos (an actual Thai saying)

Remain calm and sensible whenever Jeremy Vile Kyle opens his mouth.

Are gekkos slippery little creatures then?

I thought they'd be frictionful.

Lick your elbow

The weather actually being hot and sunny in the school summer holidays....

Push water up-hill.
Lick your own elbow.
Go to the toilet undistirbed in a house containing a toddler.
Let a springer spaniel off-lead without her finding a muddy puddle. Even in the Sahara.

Good good.

"Colourless green ideas sleep furiously"

open the packet of biscuits. eat ONE and then leave the rest until another day

stick to a diet.

Just go on Mumsnet for 5 minutes

I dispute

smiling during a smear
smudged tattoos
and
smile during a smear

but concur to the others

and will submit

You can't be everything to all men - especially Mnetters.

gosh I felt so strongly about the smear I wrote it twice