To think people should keep their opinions about our twins sex to themselves unless it's positive

[PrincessScrumpy]

We have a 3-year-old dd and absolutely adore her. In February we discovered that not only was I pg but it is ID twins - we're delighted (though still not sure about the logistics of holding 2 newborns ). Today we had the 20 week scan and found out they are girls. DH is very happy (as am I) as we didn't have a preference at all but as dh says, dd1 is absolutely fab so two more will just be brilliant.

DH went to work after the scan and the two guys he sits near (one who has a young son and another who's 40 with no kids) reacted with immense sympathy at the news of more girls. Dh was furious and hasn't bothered telling anyone else as he doesn't want that reaction. The one with a son said it would be his "worst nightmare!" Dh wants to share the happy news but feels it's been taken from him. I've had it a bit but I think dh has had it worse as the implication is he's not matcho. I'm so cross for him.

Has anyone else had this - do you have any funny replies? So far I've only managed "Actually we're delighted!" Feel we need something clever to put people in their places.

Isindebetterplace My boss, who is 5 weeks ahead of me in being pg was mortified at twins saying "what will you do?!" I have told one person that I plan to pick my favourite and leave the other one at the hospital (I said it in a jokey tone) which helped her realise how daft her reaction was. Or I pointed out they can't sleep less than dd1 did - not possible! dd1 had colic and reflux.

Mostly I'm light-hearted about the comments, but the ones dh received were stronger opinions than the norm.

congrats i have 9yr old twin boys,take no notice,yes its hard work but i wouldbe without them,we had all oh such a shame when we found out their were both boys as we have 2 older boys,shame 1 isnt a girl etc,so bloody what as long as they are healthy!

I think he's over reacting. Unless a small part of him is a little disappointed, why can he not see that it's just silly/jokey comments that parents of same sex children get much of the time?

i think you always get that if you dont have children of both sex,s i had my second boy a year ago and people are always asking when i,m going to have a girl [ i,m not i,m very happy with boys would have equally happy with girls] just ignore the comments and enjoy your beautiful babies

I don't know why people do this. If someone I know has a 2nd child and it is the opposite sex I might say something like 'how lovely, one of each!' If it's the same sex I'll say something like 'how lovely, 2 little boys/girls!' It's just something nice to say, what's the point in saying something negative?

At the end of the day all children are lovely and there's no need for silly comments! We have 2 DDs and I've lost count of the number of 'will you be trying for a boy..?' type comments

blind.... yes, I've always wondered how exactly one 'tries for a boy'. Do you just, like, concentrate really hard at a crucial moment?

I think as a parent you have to get used to people saying very silly things, tbh. Your dp's reaction might suggest he does have a bit of sadness around not having a son. Which is understandable - lots of people mourn the children we don't have as well as celebrating and loving those they do. I would say your dp and you might need to make space for any sadness about not having boys. If you can acknowledge that it might help armour you against the odd strange comment.

I speak as the mother of two girls, btw, and if I had a third child I would adore another dd. I probably had a preference for a ds first time around, though, and no preference at all second time.

Personally I have two girls and feel incredibly lucky. I absolutely didn't want a son first time round and didn't really want one the second time either.
DH hates football and generally doesn't do sport. He's a computer and science person, who's quite at home with music and literature too.
He'd of hated standing around at cricket practice and generally have argued with any boy who was in to boys things. Techy scientific girls he's quite happy with - he married one

Congratulations! Your husband is a very lucky man. I like "it's my lot in life to be surrounded by beautiful women".

As a Mum of twins I've had my fill of stupid comments including 'Oh my god how awful for you!' 'Rather you than me'. etc.

I think whether you have boys, girls or a mix there are always people who make stupid comments.

I agree with what nokissy said - you can't get a better reply than that

I'm one of 3 girls and my Dad said the only drawback was that he could never get in the bathroom :) He loved having 3 daughters, huge congrats !!

I have two gorgeous twin boys and an older son. My boys followed 3 miscarriages and were born nearly 3 mths early. At first my Dh said I must be being oversensitive when I reported back the "what a shame" "Oh bet you wanted a girl" comments. Finally I snapped back at a shop assistant "who said 3 boys -better luck next time" When I pointed out that we felt very lucky that our boys were fine, being premature, she said " Oh won't you try for a girl?" I replied "No we felt blessed enough!!!" Another shop assistant said to hubby " yes, bet she's gutted, bet she wanted one to dress up" I was speechless but should have replied "Yes, I can see why you'd think that!! bet your mum was gutted when she had you!!!" But for all the tactless and thoughtless comments; the comments that really got to me were those when my babies were small and older ladies told me the stories of their babies who were born just as early and didn't make it. We should be so thankful for medical advancements and the fact that babies survive infancy these days. It is natural to desire "one of each" and easy to trot out the glib "Oh we don't mind as long as it is healthy line" but think about it, think about what it would really mean to have a child who was suffering and had potentially a poor quality of life and try to ignore those who are tactless. Their comments say more about them than you.

at twin girls.

YANBU but people are dumb.

I have two girls, haven't had this much apart from one goitre in Waitrose once who told me not to be sad I was expecting another girl. Wtf?

It annoyed me then but now not so as I have a very lovely couple of girls and so many people stop to compliment them when we're out and about.

When you're out with your DD and your twin babies the very, very, very vast majority of people who notice you all will be thinking "what a lovely family".

And if I see you I will be thiking !

I feel really sad for your DH sharing his lovely news and getting such a horrible reaction :(
I have three DDs and I wouldn't have it any other way. I adore them so perhaps I'm biased but you really are SO lucky and in for a fantastic journey as a mummy to three little girlies. Please don't let this horrid reaction deter you or hubby sharing your lovely news, it's most certainly worthy of sharing :)
We didn't find out gender of any of ours and when DD3 was born, the reaction from our whole family and friends was so heart warming and they couldn't have been happier. I found that strangers are more likely to be "negative" about having 3 girls (and from what I read on here, all of any gender) and to that I simply smile and say how lucky we are to have three beautiful daughters and I wouldn't wish for it any other way. And I mean it. :)
I wish you and your DH many happy years with your three little girlies.
Ruby