looked at DP's phone...mistake!

[cherrypez]

Ok so I know I was totally unreasonable reading his texts, not wanting justification in that.
When I read his texts he was saying to his friend how 'fit' some girl at work is. Not great. I went off to work and sent him a shitty text saying I hoped the fit girl would be at work today. Very mature I know lol. Anyway, what I want to know is how others would react to this? Harmless lad talk or something to make a big issue out of?

I definitely didn't make a vow of

"all that I say is yours to overhear"

I'm still my own person. The thought by being married I have given up the right to communicate with people one-on-one without the implied presence of my controlling husband lurking in the background is appalling to me.

"I just think, if someone is upset and or worried about their DP's texts/emails/whatever then their DP should be willing to share their stuff in order to reassure their loved one."

But what if the person who is upset doesn't want their partner to have any friends? What if they want to isolate them from their support network?

What if they are irrationally jealous and think every communication is a threat to the relationship?

My DH is not a jealous or controlling man. He has never had a problem with any of my friends. So if he became concerned about a particular relationship, I would hear him out. And if he asked to see some of that communication I would consider letting him.

But context is everything here.

Agree with all of that.

I never had the need to ask what DH was doing on his laptop or who his texts were from until he did something that makes me feel insecure now. It is a horrible feeling and I hate feeling it. Conversely if he wanted to look at my phone I would hand it over, no problem.

TheOriginalFAB, totally agree, I was never jealous or suspicious til I was made insecure by what he did, and I also hate feeling like this. I would also hand my phone over without question.

It's good to have some privacy. If you look into everything your partner does, there's bound to be something there that you don't like.

lol, if i wrote to someone else that the bloke in accounts was very easy on the eye

and then my OH rang me at work ranting about it, I would think what a loon, and wouldnt give the relationship much chance of longevity

I'd be a bit urrghh about it too, but to be honest there's not much you can do to police this sort of behaviour. I think part of the reason why men do this with one another is to react against women trying to whitewash their sexual impulses away.