To let you all know, with all the appropriate seriousness, that my son did not blow up this afternoo

[ahhhhhhbyebyeeeeeee]

He screamed for about five minutes and gave the nurses the evil eye but that was the worst of it.

No valium, no laughing gas, no anesthetic creams and no bubble wrapped legs.

I'm being serious now. This is my serious face.

So, does this mean that all cosmetic creams are once again safe? Because I've buried the E45 in a six foot trench.

Serious face on standby.

It all depends how much good moisturisation means to you. Any neighbourhood children you're not particularly fond of you could test it on?

Aaaand resume serious face.