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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ds2 aged 3 came back from an afternoon with pil with a fruit shoots and a bag of sweets

92 replies

sails · 04/05/2011 19:54

and I didnt go ballistic or read the riot act or ban them from looking after him again etc. I cant quite belive my reaction tbh. I dont buy him fruit shoots or sweets myself. But today it all seemed ok. If they had done this when my pfb was 3 I would have gone mad and probably all the above. I would certainly have done a very different aibu. Infact I have in the past. Whats happened to change me so much? Is my wonderful ds2 now officially a nsc and will he now grow up to have bad teeth and adhd?

OP posts:
hairfullofsnakes · 04/05/2011 19:59

Well the downside is that he will want these things from now on? But if you are happy with that...

For me, it's nothing to do with pfb syndrome, I dont want my kids drinking or learning to eat rubbish like sweets so young so I would expect others to respect that if they looked after my dc

ShinyMoonInAPurpleSky · 04/05/2011 20:00

But I always got treated at my grandparents house. I never expected those treats at home because I knew they always came from the gps not from mum.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 04/05/2011 20:00

What's an nsc child?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/05/2011 20:02

That's what GPs are for... buying stuff that you wouldn't, that's what makes their time with DCs special. We're the Mums, we do the run of the mill stuff, GPs do the 'magic and sparkle'.. Grin

BoysAreLikeDogs · 04/05/2011 20:02

nsc = neglected subsequent child

Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:03

Aparantly he chose the fr uitshoot and had been drinking it but it was still full and he had previously disliked it at a party so I dont believe it really tbh! He enjoyed the sweets yes but he had more in the bag than I was happy with so they have now been hidden! :)

OP posts:
icooksocks · 04/05/2011 20:04

Fruit shoots and sweets don't instantly maim a child? Shock Shock

In all fairness when you realise that the above statement is not true, and once every so often with a GP is okay, its quite a refreshing feeling.

Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:04

Until another day that it!

OP posts:
bubbleymummy · 04/05/2011 20:05

My mum knows better than to give my kids sweets and sugary drinks! She doesn't like them anyway so I'm safe enough. The boy's still love going to visit her and my dad for the games and stories - junk food doesn't factor into it at all :)

nometime · 04/05/2011 20:05

That's what grandparents are for in my book. GP spoil Ds's but they know it is a treat with them. Didn't your GP spoil you and let you have things that mum said "No" to? Mine certainly did.

itsabiggywhatdoidonow · 04/05/2011 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

LadyInTheRadiat0r · 04/05/2011 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brokenmarrow · 04/05/2011 20:06

I always think its the kids who are denied everything that go completely mad as soon as they are old enough too. Think the 7 year old who makes themselves sick at the first birthday party they are left alone at. Or worse the students who get alcohol poisoning the 2nd day at university.

A little bit of everything in moderation Wink

bubbleymummy · 04/05/2011 20:06

Boys - why does my iPhone feel the need to add apostrophes where I don't want them?! Grrrrr

Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:06

Yes it has now occurred to me that he might expect these things from now on. hairfullofsnakes I suppose that is a downside....

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 04/05/2011 20:06

When you realise that actually grandparents are not trying to undermine you and are just being nice

cees · 04/05/2011 20:07

That's what grandparents are for and it won't harm him getting a treat now and again. Everything in moderation.

unsurevalentine · 04/05/2011 20:07

Good god - not a - FRUIT SHOOT??!! Shock

iamamug · 04/05/2011 20:07

My gps used to give us a brown paper bag on the way to their house after church every sunday - an orange, banana, apple and CHOCOLATE!! My mother was born during the war so to them, all those things were treats. We NEVER had sweets at home.

Not because mum didn't want us to have them - they were just expensive and unnecessary.
I am middle aged now and have never forgetten that gp = treats, treats, treats!!
Wonderful that you can let go a bit.

Oakmaiden · 04/05/2011 20:07

itsabiggy - I think the op was being ironic?

Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:09

I know it doesnt cause adhd I was merely repeating what others have said in the past Angry

OP posts:
Georgimama · 04/05/2011 20:10

My great gran used to have fig rolls in her larder. My tight wad mother wouldn't buy fig rolls.

Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:10

Yes ironic thats the word oakmaiden!

OP posts:
itsabiggywhatdoidonow · 04/05/2011 20:10

unaceptable IMHO would you use irony at other sen? I doubt it.

mathanxiety · 04/05/2011 20:11

All a bit pfbish imo.
Did the DS have a nice time with the GPs? Do they care for him and does he feel loved when he's with them?

Life is too short.

And you can't protect your DCs from all the big bad things that are out there forever. You can hold the line for a while, but 3 is just on the cusp of when things start to slip from your control. How bumpy a ride it will be for all concerned depends on you and how wisely you pick your battles.