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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ds2 aged 3 came back from an afternoon with pil with a fruit shoots and a bag of sweets

92 replies

sails · 04/05/2011 19:54

and I didnt go ballistic or read the riot act or ban them from looking after him again etc. I cant quite belive my reaction tbh. I dont buy him fruit shoots or sweets myself. But today it all seemed ok. If they had done this when my pfb was 3 I would have gone mad and probably all the above. I would certainly have done a very different aibu. Infact I have in the past. Whats happened to change me so much? Is my wonderful ds2 now officially a nsc and will he now grow up to have bad teeth and adhd?

OP posts:
Honeybee79 · 04/05/2011 20:11

Biscuit.

Once in a while etc etc.

bubbleymummy · 04/05/2011 20:12

Itsabiggy - what are you talking about?

mixedmamameansbusiness · 04/05/2011 20:13

OP - I could have written your post. I do prefer when things come home in the bag though as I can then throw away stuff I dont want.... liek the shitty smelly handstaining wotsits my ILS send. Straight in the bin. sometimes I eat the sweets Blush

bubbleymummy · 04/05/2011 20:15

Well I've made it to ages 5 and 2 with no problems and if I can do it anyone can - some people aren't bothered by it which is fair enough but dire predictions about children losing control and going off the rails because they don't get chocolate on a regular basis is a bit silly IMO.

animula · 04/05/2011 20:16

It's sunny.

Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:21

They picked him up from preschool and he spent most of the time at their house playing with "grandads toys"! I'm sure he thinks grandad plays with them haha! They went to a coffee/gift shop and bought a present for me eand sweets for ds1 and2 and they took him to the coffee shop. Mil said in actual fact he was more interested in the milk in their jug so they got him a drink of milk aswell which he did drank.

Its a biggy I am sorry that what I typed caused you offense it certainly wasnt my intention to cause you or anyone any offense. :(

OP posts:
KaraStarbuckThrace · 04/05/2011 20:22

DS (3.4) would have turned down the sweets (unless it was chocolate!) and the fruit shoot.

Mind, he wouldn't turn down a Gregg's sausage roll!

PrincessScrumpy · 04/05/2011 20:22

I think it's a grandparent thing. DD knows she gets chocolate at grandparent's house but asks for fruit at home. A friend also gave dd a macdonalds. I was not impressed as she'd told me she was taking dd for a picnic (apparently this is what a picnic is for her and her ds - 3). Fine, it was a one off and she was doing me a favour as childcare had fallen through. However, dd has never asked me for one.

I do believe that banning things makes kids want them more - my cousins were not allowed sweets but used to hide them in their rooms and eat them at night. They had lots of fillings, even in baby teeth. My brother and I had them occasionally and he has one filling and I don't have any - he's 31 and I'm 29.

itsabiggywhatdoidonow · 04/05/2011 20:26

thats ok sails.

Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:26

:)

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 04/05/2011 20:31

I would say that you have mellowed sails-well done.

Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:38

He is actually 3.5 I dont know if that makes a difference! Thanks maybe I have I still want the best for both my boys and swweets to be the excetion not the rule!

OP posts:
Original poster
sails · 04/05/2011 20:38

or 3 and a half!

OP posts:
EmmaBemma · 04/05/2011 20:50

"My great gran used to have fig rolls in her larder. My tight wad mother wouldn't buy fig rolls.

"

I love this!

I wouldn't sweat it if my 4 year old daughter came back from her granddad's with those items. I know that he and his missus give her sweets and stuff when she goes to visit, which is maybe once a fortnight or something? If it was every day I might mind, I suppose. I think they've got a catering pack of Capri Sun for her, and she's deffo had full sugar Ribena on a few occasions there, which is like liquid glucose.

She doesn't pester me for that stuff at home, she knows she'd get nowhere fast.

Salmotrutta · 04/05/2011 21:20

We are grandparents and we ask about what we are allowed to give DGS (other DGS still a babe in arms Grin) so we are allowed to indulge with some treats. DGS loves fruit though so he gets lots of that with us.
Fortunately DD and her DH are happy to let us indulge now and then - we aren't idiots and managed to bring up DD and DS without harming their teeth or making them obese.

nometime · 04/05/2011 21:57

My mother has a "tuck box" for DC. It's a treat, they love it and she loves letting them choose something from it. They also have ice cream and, heaven forbid, lemonade when they go to see them. Neither of them is a sugar junky or has fillings. It's good to learn the concept of a treat and in my book GP's are for providing the spoils whilst I boil the broccoli!

exoticfruits · 04/05/2011 22:13

It sounds like feeding time at the zoo-I would assume that grandparents can be trusted to decide for themselves!

exoticfruits · 04/05/2011 22:14

Sorry-in reply to Samotrutta who asks what is 'allowed'.

hairfullofsnakes · 05/05/2011 07:21

It's ironic isn't it, as adults we spend our time trying to resist sweet stuff but as kids many of us are given a taste for it. My kids are very young and have plenty of time to have sweet things when they are older - I don't think giving kids a taste for sweet stuff early on is a great lesson and also teaching them that sweets are great treats. Why not teach kids other things are great treats?!

MarioandLuigi · 05/05/2011 07:29

Fruit shoots cause ADHD

Hmm Biscuit
hairfullofsnakes · 05/05/2011 07:35

I don't know about that but they do taste nasty and are full of nasty rubbish, why, when there are so many other choices would you give your child a bottle full of additives?

exoticfruits · 05/05/2011 07:40

I take it that your DC are very young hairfullofsnakes if you are under the impression that withholding sweet stuff doesn't give them a taste for it!

Animation · 05/05/2011 07:44

Good job - looks like they had a marvelous time!

Chil1234 · 05/05/2011 07:51

My small nephew (2) gently takes his gran one one side, out of earshot of Mum and Dad and asks, very nicely, if he can have a couple of biscuits. She supplies the biscuits out of sight... he scoffs them. Mum and Dad know it's going on & turn a blind eye, but small boy and gran are having a nice 'moment' of shared conspiracy. Think it's lovely. :)

exoticfruits · 05/05/2011 07:53

I agree Chil-and so much better than worrying about the biscuitsGrin