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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

However much you love your DCs, do you regret their facial features/expressions which clearly come from other relatives?

97 replies

BelfastBloke · 04/05/2011 11:46

Presumably you're happy if they look like you, and/or maybe the child's other parent.

But are you irritated when you see a hated relative in their features/expressions/movements? Like your in-laws, or a grandparent you despise?

Or even phrases?

OP posts:
Buffoonery · 05/05/2011 11:04

I panic at least once a day sometimes that the DC wil inherit my nose or DH's teeth.

They're all lovely looking at the minute but are only 5,3 and 1!

LDNmummy · 05/05/2011 11:38

Mine and DH's first is on the way and I am so worried our LO is not so much going to look like my younger sister or his older brother (there is one in every family unfortunately), but actually have their characters which are just horrid and selfish (although I wouldn't particularly want the LO to look like them either Grin ).

There are lots of things I don't want my LO to inherit too like DP's bow legs or my nock knees, the big heads that run on both sides and the flat bottoms that run on mine Grin

But our baby is going to be a complete surprise as both DP and I are mixed heritage, me 4 different things and DP African/ Caribbean. Our baby could look like anyone, from any generation, from any type of background across the globe really. Or he/ she could be a perfect little mix of me and my DP (except without the funny legs hopefully).

Whatever happens, if my LO is happy and healthy I will get over the rest.

QuackQuackBoing · 05/05/2011 11:45

As someone who was abused I have always been worried mine would look like the abuser Sad

browniebear · 05/05/2011 11:49

My DD walks exactly like SIL with one foot turned in. Really annoying but i'm hoping she grows out of it.DD is nearly 7!

BreakOutTheKaraoke · 05/05/2011 11:51

My DD seems to put on weight easily, especially on the chest area. All of my family are skinny minnies, but MIL was a size 32, and died aged 52 of weight related illnesses. Try my hardest to keep this in check, but all her cousins are really thin, and can eat anything, so its hard sometimes, as shes around them lots.

ladymystikal · 05/05/2011 12:18

QUackquackboing Sad
well my dd has inherited my ex's grandmothers nose which is flat, wide and broad. i was devastated when she was born and i saw it Blush. Im hoping it doesn't get any bigger as she gets older, because its quite proportionate at the mo.
But great thread, some of the posts did make me laugh!

QuackQuackBoing · 05/05/2011 12:24

Did I just put a downer on the thread?! Sorry about that Blush

bigbuttons · 05/05/2011 12:24

My kids don't look like either of us or any relatives or like each other either.

Not looks related but dd1 does this thing with her spoon and bowl of ceeral, she sort of bangs and scrapes it getting all the bits of food just right before she spoons it up. It drives me up the frigging wall. Her father does the same, perhaps that why it drives me up the wall as i can't stand him.

confuddledDOTcom · 05/05/2011 13:04

Apparantly babies are born looking like Dad and his side as a proof that it is his baby, Mum obviously knows it's hers, it came out of her but Dad doesn't have the same proof - of course doesn't apply these days!

ladymystikal · 05/05/2011 13:09

quackquackboingDid I just put a downer on the thread?!
not at all. i cant imagine how awful that must be for you..
less serious, but im glad i didnt have a boy, because i would hate to be reminded of my ex!

QuackQuackBoing · 05/05/2011 13:17

I've been reminding myself all my life that my children may look a certain way but they will always be their own person. I just focus on that.

boohoohoo · 05/05/2011 13:21

My dd is the spit of me, in character as well, and I look exactly like my mother did, I look at dd and see my mother and it's lovely. My ds is exactly like dh and his father, again lovely to see especially as my fil died last year. The only thing ds has of me is his lack of patience!!!!

tabulahrasa · 05/05/2011 14:51

QuackQuackBoing, I was just reading this, because I had nothing to post as my children are indeed perfect Grin rofl.

DS looks like DP and indeed FIL, and various Aunts, Uncles and cousins - in a by god, you can tell they're related way, lol, not unpleasant, but a bit of a shock when he was a newborn as babies don't really look like adults at that point. rofl

DD looks like DP had a child with my sister. Hmm

After the initial, ooh don't they look like...I can't say that I notice at all, because DS looks like DS and DD looks like DD, other people comment on it - but to me they look like themselves

mousymouse · 05/05/2011 14:55

I don't regret they way my children look, but was shocked when ds was out and looked like a minime of my FIL.

NoobytheWaspSlayer · 05/05/2011 15:00

DS has my brothers bog-brush hair, complete with triple crown. Really - it grows straight out of his head and looks completely loony most of the time. It is impossible to cut/style as the crowns make the back stand up Russell Brand style. The only option is short. On the upside I know he won't be going bald. DS2 on the other hand has inherited my super fine super soft hair, and I fear the baldness gene from my Dad.

dawntigga · 05/05/2011 15:00

I love The Cub but he's got my nose the poor little man.

HatesHerNoseButLovesHerselfTiggaxx

microserf · 05/05/2011 16:36

My dd is basically what you get if you cloned my dh and somehow made him into a her. I don't mind that at all although one day soon I going to have to namechange and outrage the AIBU section with "when can I start waxing my 2 year old's monobrow?" May have given the game away there.

I have an SIL on DH's side though and people go on and on about how much dd looks like SIL. No she bloody doesn't, as SIL looks like no one else in the family and I don't want her to look like SIL because I don't really get on with her.

Oblomov · 05/05/2011 16:57

Ds1 has like a bit missing off the rim of his ear. wierd. comes from my mums family. cross eyed. like dh's male side.
ds2 has ginger hair. but not just any old red, nasty wishy washy ginger. horrible. apparently comes from all the males in dh's family. build like a brickhouse, like dh, that is not a problem to me.

whackamole · 05/05/2011 18:27

My boys look just like their dad did as a child. That's fine, they are gorgeous.

However, my DSS ALSO looks just like him, so when we go out I am worried someone is going to think I am the nanny or the stepmum to all of them. Stupid, I know, but I can't help it!

Oh, I expect OH would rather like it if none of the boys inherit his hairline - he has lost most of it since our 2 were born!

ellifino · 05/05/2011 18:33

I don't have any hated relatives, so no worries on that score.

I do find it absolutely fascinating when they look like people though. IT's hypnotic. I can be arguing with my 5yo and suddenly for a split second she is my mum.

And ds looks like me which I find utterly hypnotic. I was brought up to believe I am ugly, so it is weird to find something that looks just like me so heartbreakingly beautiful.

Mammie81 · 05/05/2011 18:37

I dont hate my hubby at all but his nose isnt my friend. When DS was presented to me it had obviously been squashed down in the birth canal. But 10 minutes later it had popped back up!

exhausted2011 · 05/05/2011 20:23

My ds looks like my brother as a baby, which I'm sure irritates my husband. And my brothers daughter looked like me as a baby. But my brother and I aren't that alike!

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