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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

However much you love your DCs, do you regret their facial features/expressions which clearly come from other relatives?

97 replies

BelfastBloke · 04/05/2011 11:46

Presumably you're happy if they look like you, and/or maybe the child's other parent.

But are you irritated when you see a hated relative in their features/expressions/movements? Like your in-laws, or a grandparent you despise?

Or even phrases?

OP posts:
ReindeerBollocks · 04/05/2011 15:07

DD pulls a face which is very MIL.

I kind of cringe when DD does this, but it's not too bad as I like my MIL.

Insomnia11 · 04/05/2011 15:12

DD1 is dark haired, olive skinned, dark eyed and DD2 is silver/ash blonde, blue eyes and light skinned - one more like my colouring and one more like DHs. But they just look like themselves to me - in fact they look like one another in spite the difference in hair/eye colour.

sheepgomeep · 04/05/2011 15:13

my dd2 is the image of her grandmother (my mil) and as she is only 45 she quite often gets mistaken for her mum grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

quidco · 04/05/2011 15:14

my kids all look like their dad. i hate it. ds1 is now beginning to look like what his father did when i first met him. I have this irrational hatred of it.

sheepgomeep · 04/05/2011 15:18

lemonylemon my ds has inherited a sneer from his dad too.. down to a t. unfortunately its also accompanied by his snobby attitude and and an 'I'm better than you by FAR' lookout on life to do.

In fact he is so likehis dad its scary

confuddledDOTcom · 04/05/2011 16:05

mamsnet, I agree with you. My eldest is scarily like her brother who she doesn't see enough to copy. My youngest (I forgot to say this in my first post) is like my mum's natural family. Mum said she didn't want to mention it because she thinks my daughter looks like the thing that share's Mum's natural mother and sperm donor (I won't use the U name for him). Personally I think she looks like Mum's lovely aunt who died about 13 years before she was born. She has similar expressions and rests her front teeth on her lip like she did. Definitely not learned behaviour.

PrincessBananaGrabber, nope in my family it's my Grandma! Everytime a baby is born people want to know if they look like her. My poor niece is her double, it's quite scary! There is only one photo of Grandma's entire family (her parents and siblings) and she was rather... unusual... in her family.

ScousyFogarty · 04/05/2011 16:47

we all spend time looking in the mirror...I look a lot like my late mother, tis said.

But I am more known for my personality than my looks. I wonder what we would be like if mirrors had not been invented? Different, maybe

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 04/05/2011 16:52

My youngest DD looks like a cross between me and her Paternal grandfather!

Considering he looks like Santa I am often a bit Hmm when I see pics of her.

She's GORGEOUS butt DHs side is full of sturdy shortarses who look like they should be plowing the land.

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 04/05/2011 16:54

My elder DD is like my MIL actually but MIL is rather good looking with very good teeth. Grin so that's fine.

exoticfruits · 04/05/2011 17:01

I often think when people are moaning about MIL-'has it not crossed your mind that you may produce a mini one?'! (in character as well)
Mine are like MIL, but as she is part Swedish it is quite nice.

LiliesandVeuve · 04/05/2011 17:04

haha.
My children look like my side of the family.. thankfully.
i was scared they would come out looking like DH!
DS was very squashed and I thought I was out of luck, but when he evened out, he was ok
DH not blessed in the looks dept, bless him

Vulgar · 04/05/2011 19:43

i was so pleased that Ds ended up looking like Dh's side of the family. His family is much better looking than my own. There are some terrible noses on my side Grin

huffythethreadslayer · 04/05/2011 19:48

I know it's wrong, but I love this thread. My dd has stunning hair, a lovely face, but I'm praying she doesn't inherit his sisters build. She's 10 and has just developed a pair of hips, something my family hadn't even heard of in their girl children. I hope to God it doesn't mean she'll favour his side, as they tend to be (how can I put this tactfully? oh sod it I won't) fat. From an early age. I am also quite big, but didn't get there til my 30's.

DD is showing no sign of the chunkiness, but she is leaning towards negativity on odd occasions, but I'm sure DH & I can wean her off that particular SIL trait. (Prays frantically despite being agnostic at best!).

kw1986 · 04/05/2011 19:53

My DD looks just like me really apart from she has much darker skin (dad is black) and has wild thick tight curls that I just cannot deal with. I've been trying for 3 years and I just cant get to grips with them!

I notice other people in her in certain expressions. I've seen my mum, my sister and quite rarely her dad (which is a shame because hes a knob!)

She seems to have developed a temper from somewhere. Not me as I'm pretty mellow. I suspect its my mum - she only mellowed once she got to her 50's!! Doesn't bode well for me!

Oh, she also has her dads giant head!! lol This isnt helped by her having masses of hair that just grows outwards rather than down. So she tends to look like a lolly pop!

Shes still beautiful to me though.

bluebellwood · 04/05/2011 22:23

I'm fascinated by family resemblances. My daughter doesn't look markedly like anyone but occasionally, with a particular facial expression of hers or a tilt of the head, I glimpse someone else in her. Sometimes it's a person long gone, like my father who died thirty years ago. I love this when it happens -it always makes me catch my breath.

echt · 04/05/2011 23:26

I'll own up to piqued vanity that my DD bears no resemblance to me whatsoever; she's the spit of DH.

Oddly, her two cousins also look just like the IL side, not my DBs.

I think the bloodline must be thinning.:o

LostInSockLand · 05/05/2011 00:06

My kids dont look anything like me, they are both the spitting image of dad. In fact, if I hadn't given birth to them i'd be contacting Jeremy Kyle for DNA testing! Sometimes dd will give me "the look" of pure arrogance and I grumble quietly to myself that it's much like looking at him but then she does something cute and I file it away in my spongy head somewhere. I do wonder about her nose though, she's 7 now and still has possibly the flattest nose i've ever seen on a child....mine is quite pointy and sharp and her dad's is a sizeable conk too. They are nice looking kids though (ds always was, dd looked like a frog at birth!)

niccibabe · 05/05/2011 01:03

I see this with my DN who looks just like SIL's father. SIL who is very pretty looks very like her mother, not at all like her father. DN doesn't look like either parent.

DN is a nice-looking child, but would have been just as lovely looking like either DB or SIL.

spiderslegs · 05/05/2011 01:11

I deny any similarity between dcs & husband's family. They are not related.

exoticfruits · 05/05/2011 07:49

It always surprises me how many DHs are foundlings spiderlegs!!!!
As they get everything from MIL through nature or nurture there must be something good in the woman!

hester · 05/05/2011 08:11

dd1 looks set to inherit the ONE feature I didn't want her to get from me, plus the ONE feature I didn't want her to get from her dad.

dd2 is thus far perfectly featured. But also adopted, so I can take no credit.

Fortunately nobody so far looks like my great-grandfather, who was quite shockingly ugly: almost like a cartoon human. We are all waiting with trepidation for those genes to reassert themselves one day.

colditz · 05/05/2011 08:14

I must admit that when Ds1 says "I can't remember" when I have asked him something like "Did you pick up that pound coin I left on the side?" that it reminds me of his dad and how his dad used to deal with financial fuckwittery by saying "I can't remember" - but Ds1 is 8, and therefore forgiven.

georgie22 · 05/05/2011 08:28

Our dd looks very like her dad - everyone comments on it. She does have my large eyes although hers are blue when mine are hazel. I'm blessed with good thick curly hair so we're praying she gets that from me (she has very little hair at 6m - I was very bald until I was over 1) but my MIL has really crap fine hair whilst FIL has thick wild hair like Freddie Boswell!! She seems to have MIL's very pale skin unlike my family who have much more olive skin tone. She has also got DH's ears which I'm hoping will become less prominent once she gets some hair. She is beautiful though and has dh's lovely full lips!

goatshavestrangeeyes · 05/05/2011 09:50

Ds is the spitting image of his dad, blonde hair, blue eyes its quite scary actually. Looks nothing like me at all so really worried that when he's older he's going to develop dh's receding hairline. Dh looks like all the males on mils side, they are all left handed too and have extra nipples.....my poor poor ds!

Dd looks just like me, dark hair, dark eyes but she has inherited her dads extra extra skinny build, the girl eats but just does not put on any weight (which i secretly hope stays that way as i am a little big and always have been) ....she does have ex mils eyes though, which is the one thing i didn't want her to have. They are huge, but much more beautiful on dd Grin

Morloth · 05/05/2011 10:00

What weirds me out is when DS1 does something that reminds me so much of my dad, a gesture or a turn of phrase or a look or something.

My Dad had been dead 13 years when I had DS1 but there are times when he turns his head that my breath catches a little cause he looks so much like him.

Other times both he and DS2 are the spitting image of my SIL.