Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So AIBU about this wedding or is my DH BU??

92 replies

Ealingkate · 03/05/2011 14:30

We received an invitation to my DH's MBA friends wedding - it is a 3 day affair in Herefordshire, we're in Ealing. He sees him for beers maybe 3 or 4 times a year, I have never met him, (there hasn't ever been a with partners evening out, which is fine).
He obviously wants to go, it is, however, on the same weekend as the DC's summer fete.
He says that he's a lovely guy and he would like to develop the friendship - I say that it seems unlikely as we're about to move out of London and have 3DCs, they don't have kids (and I don't think they want any) and work in London.

So would you go??

OP posts:
Original poster
Ealingkate · 03/05/2011 18:55

An MBA is a business masters - it's sort of a prerequisite for senior management positions - or so I'm lead to believe. They did theirs at Warwick although they were in a West London study group as they did the distance learning option.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 03/05/2011 18:58

What are you supposed to do with three little kids whilst doing the hokey cokey and murder mystery dinner and all that other twee arse nonsense?

I'd go to the actual wedding, send along a nice gift and that's it.

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 03/05/2011 19:05

Sounds totally impractical from a childcare point of view, a three day wedding? Goodness.

On the other hand, I live very near Herefordshire (1 mile) and can recommend loads of fun things to do (like going to see me and my very new baby that weekend!). MAybe you could all go to the wedding, hire a cottage for the weekend, and do you own thing for most of the weekend, picking and choosing what you want to share if their wedding?

I would go, but then I love weddings. Not sure about the whole saga though. Seems a bit too much really, for anyone. Not sure they've thought it through properly.

Whereabouts in Herefordshire is it? I might be able to recommend some very good babysitters if that would help you out at all?

Original poster
Ealingkate · 03/05/2011 19:11

That's v sweet of youLLBB, Herefordshire is v lovely, my DH went to school there and he is going dowh there this weekend for a kit test for the Nepal weekend.

I need to investigate the DC issue and whether we are meant to take them or not - I assumed that they were (as the envelope said The Ealingkates not Mr & Mrs), but then on closer inspection of the schedule of events, maybe not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ealingkate · 03/05/2011 19:12

oops LLBB

OP posts:
lesley33 · 03/05/2011 19:19

I don't agree that being supportive is being a stepford wife.

magicmelons · 03/05/2011 19:28

yabvu your dh has asked you to do something with him if he likes the guy then what does it matter what you think will happen to the friendship.
Not going with him would be very unsupportive. Just go for the wedding day rather than the full 3 days.

I'd love 3 days away with my dh without kids.

Original poster
Ealingkate · 03/05/2011 19:28

I don't think that I said that, it was more that, just because he says it's important I must comply.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ealingkate · 03/05/2011 19:32

Also, it seems that everyone has a magic 'someone' to leave the kids with.

OP posts:
zikes · 03/05/2011 19:33

It's not you must comply, but that it's a friendship and event that is important to him versus a school fete!

farkthatforagameofsoldiers · 03/05/2011 19:34

I feel exhausted just reading that wedding programme. Honestly I would dread it and send DH alone.

"forced fun" Grin indeed ENormaSnob. I like that term.

trixymalixy · 03/05/2011 19:37

You seriously think a fête is more important that going to your DH's friend's wedding?!?!?!?

You're really scraping the barrel for excuses aren't you?

YABU, it is obviously important to your DH and your DH is obviously important enough to his friend to be invited for the long weekend so you should really go.

If one of my friends told me they couldn't come to my wedding because if a fête that would be the end of the friendship.

CheerfulYank · 03/05/2011 19:45

I'll go with him! That wedding sounds awesome! :o (They must be Americans...we do like to "celebrate our love" big style...)

I think YABU. Obviously you can't do the whole thing if the children aren't invited, but if they aren't you could leave them with your parents and just go to the wedding, right?

If I told DH that something was important to me and he still wouldn't go I'd be really upset, tbh.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2011 20:11

Sounds like she's already very supportive of things that are important to him.

If DH and I could get away from our kids for three days I sure as fuck wouldn't want to spend it at anything as nonsensically twee as this.

But my DH would be fine with it, not guilt me into going (nor would I do that to him) and we'd probably do the go to the wedding on the day and the breakfast and then head out.

Original poster
Ealingkate · 04/05/2011 10:17

So, we're going on Saturday evening - I'm dropping him off at the karaoke and staying with friends in Hereford - then we're going back for the family friendly BBQ and lawn games and heading back late that night.
Thank you to you all (except the rude ones!) for your excellent counsel. DH wasn't bothered about going to the actual wedding as the groom said it would be good for him/us to attend any part and was very relaxed, also DH is a bit short on holiday days due to his solo Nepal trip.

OP posts:
caughtinanet · 04/05/2011 10:25

Glad to hear you've been able to find a way to suit everyone - have a great time.

Laquitar · 04/05/2011 11:22

This wedding sounds like my idea of hell, i hate organised activities. I would sent DH and then i would join only for few hours.

But i'm a bit Confused about what them not planning to have dcs has to do with the friendship

New posts on this thread. Refresh page