to not understand why people choose to live in the countryside?

[cumbria81]

Don't get me wrong, I love the countryside as much as the next person. I spend most of my weekends there walking/cycling/whatever.

But why on earth would you want to live in the back end of nowhere where you have to get in the car to buy a pint of milk and everything is a logistical nightmare?

Where I live, 2 miles from a city centre, I can walk to work/a swimming pool/cinema/shops/theatre/train station etc etc. I can also, if I want, run/walk off road through parks and woods for a few miles and am out of the city and into rural land - so best of both.

I don't mind sitting in the car for 1.5 hours on the weekend to get out to the real countryside (ie Dales and Lakes) but if I had to drive every single day for everything I think I'd go spare.

Absolutely nothing on earth could entice me to go and live in Milan. I know it relatively well.

But that just goes to show that it's horses for courses. Vive la différence(and the nightingale)

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is how much I notice the seasons more living in the country...now it's not like there weren't trees and parks where we lived before, or we didn't have a garden.

But there are so many more different types of plant, trees, flowers and more bird species (we had mainly crows where we were before), we grow veg and have fruit trees in the garden- you see the farmers doing different things at different times of the year, the animals doing different things...it makes me feel more in harmony with and a part of nature and the environment, rather than separate from it... kind of how things 'ought' to be to my mind. As people have said it does make a difference whether you are 'outdoorsy' or like nature and animals - I've always been a bit of an amateur ornithologist myself, and also I like running- cross country is so much nicer!

And I think children get used to what they know.

My DC were bron and brought up in the country. They've always had oodles of space and fresh air and freedom.
We bought the flat in town relatively recently, so it's not what they're used to iyswim.

I can totally see your point Rindercella

But this is where I was born and grew up, where most of my friends still live (and that's very important to me). Schools are still quite good on average (waiting to be destroyed for good by the latest gov ), we live in a nice area, quite green for Milan's standards, 15 minutes walk from the centre (therefore no need for me to drive), and we have plenty of occasions to escape to more scenic areas.

"And I think children get used to what they know.!" Absolutely.

I was born and brought up in the countryside and sort of always assumed my DC would be country children too. But they've been in a town all their live and their reactions to the countryside vary from occasional enthusiasm to downright horror.

Please, let me point out again that Milan is a crap place over all. I love it, though and would struggle in any smaller place in Italy (provincial mentality is awful here, tis not such a big problem in the UK).

I grew up in stunning country side. And weirdly feel more claustrophobic in small country towns. They make me feel itchy, horribly jumpy and constrained.

Big, beautiful spaces are wonderful. And there are many London parks that deliver just that. And we have a conservation area behind our property which means I can see sky. Loads of it. I need the people, (but needs to be sort of civilised rather than pushing loudness etc) and energy of a big city.

The one thing I miss from my childhood is water. The exquisite feeling of the seeing the horizon; empty, beautiful, white sand beaches. I miss that, but do go once a year. I couldn't live there.

there are indeed many parks in London that deliver big open beautiful spaces (I used to live near Richmond Park and Bushy Park) but to a lover of the countryside they are not a patch on the real thing. They don't deliver the visceral, gut-wrenching tug I feel when I look at a gritstone edge or a wild moorland. To be honest,for me, neither does the countryside of the rolling hills variety - much of the English countryside is, to me, "nice" and fails to move me, but the country-side outside my door does. Sometimes when I go for a run across the moors I tell them that I love them. Literally. I glance around to check no-one is listening (pretty unlikely) and shout. Can't see many people doing that in Richmond Park

haha sounds good hatwoman .

I fall in love with trees quite often. The yellowness or redness of the leaves and it is a mild pain / longing and love.

Maybe I need a hit of the real thing again. America is pretty amazing in places.

When I go home (which couldn't be more different to London) I come back and really notice the city. The englishness of it and my heart swoons all over again. Easily pleased

Whereas my childhood home, which is pretty much held up as a top world tourist spot, looks too familiar now. But still lovely.

I think there is a total difference between green outside spaces in cities and towns, and the countryside. I love parks in towns - I think they can be amazingly accessible and usable spaces.... but they aren't the same. There is something about the overlooked nature of so many odd corners in the countryside - the old stone cowshed slowly mouldering away in the bend of a lane, the wooden style that has been there for ever growing a little crop of toadstools and a fur coat of lichen, the washes of bluebells in a wood and the carpet of pink campion a few weeks later. the ancient dew pond left for the cows to drink from alive with tadpoles in the spring, and the quiet wet peace of a winter wood. The way that the seasons happen so gradually and yet so undeniably and fiercely. I love that. I love knowing a place so well and yet still being surprised by the number of flowers that appear in the spring or a bird's nest in a new place, and also the familiarity of seeing rooks circling around the same nest trees year in year out. Like hatwoman I love the big dramatic places like the moors and mountains but I also love the little places - the everyday small-scale nature of farmland and the bits in between that the farmers leave alone.

Not going to happen though as my family don't see it that way. They just see mud and inconvenience and poor mobile signals

Yes, I like ancient woodland and places that haven't changed (much) in thousands of years. Or it is more modern but unspoiled - you can imagine exactly how it would have been hundreds of years ago.

i live in the Lakes (real countryside like OP says) but im not miles away from local amenities, we have a local shop/post office/pub etc in walking distance and the nearest town is 20 mins with a big supermarket/pool/cinema etc

i used to live on the outskirts of a major city where i still had to drive to reach these things

not sure where the OP gets the idea that if you live in the country everything is miles away, and its certainly not the case for me, and i get to enjoy real country every day

i much prefer living in a city (london)

i can see the benefits of living in the countryside but i like the hustle and bustle, i like the constant noise and i like having everything i want/need on my doorstep

what i can't stand is suburbia, its where you go to die, have been there and it was depressing

i like the cultural diversity of london too

I am starting to think it might just come down to where you are. Looking at Bonsoir's post, I grew up in a town on the edge of a city and it was never like that. To get that sense of community and the relaxed socialising, I moved to a village and it's perfect.
I think if you enjoy hustle and bustle and shopping and lots of trips to the cinema, a city will suit you. If you enjoy space and countryside and walking, the village lifestyle will suit you.
And for community, you could go to either place and either find it or not, depending on which village or part of the city you are in.

Marsha I adore cities on the water. Torronto, Chicago, Vancouver. What's not to like?

You have a milkman!

I was born and brought up in a small village in a very rural area. I lived there until I was 18 and left to go to University.

In many ways it was a lovely place to grow up - tiny village primary school with no more than 40 children, strong community spirit, peace and quiet and the freedom to roam almost anywhere.

But I am not sure I would have felt the same if I had had to stay there as a young adult. Once I was in the city the availability of public transport (we used to get buses only twice a week!), shops and so many other diverse entertainments was pretty mindboggling to a country girl!. The other great thing about moving away was that in a small rural community everybody knows everybody else's business and never forget anything. Not what you want when you get to that age when you are ready to let your hair down a bit.

I now live on the edge of a small-ish town and I have really lovely countryside (The Peak District) within 20 - 30 minutes drive so we can escape to the country every weekend if we want to but still have the convenience of "town" facilities on our doorstep. Hell if I lived out in the sticks then I would not be able to walk to work! Or DD walk to school or to go out with her mates

So - I can definitely see the appeal but having experienced both I think with teenagers town might be preferable.

Also DH has always been a "townie" so I can't see he would ever make a permanent move

5foot5 - whereas I was a townie teenager and hated it, and my dh was a country teenager and loved it! As a townie teenager, I found I didn't have the means to escape to the countryside as all the public transport went into the city - which was the last place I wanted to be. So I was just as reliant on my folks to do the things I really wanted to do - walk for hours birdwatching - as any country kid. But I got a lot of stick for it as mist of teenage contemporaries didn't understand - they wanted clubs and shops which were my idea of hell. So I was isolated and quite lonely.

Now I live in a tiny country village - I can still get to things like the cinema, about 20 minutes drive away, but I never made use of these facilities when I lived near them, so driving to them really isn't an issue. I don't go often, but then I never did. But I can walk out of my door and do the things I love rather than drive to them.
Convenience becomes a matter of what you enjoy - I use the countryside 'facilities' far more and where I live offers me far more convenience than living in a town where I would be (because I always was) perpetually trying to escape the 'convenient facilities'. The only thing I do regularly which involves a greater distance to travel is the supermarket weekly shop - well, I will put up with having to plan better and do big purchases and a bigger drive when for the rest of what I do, I'm better off in the country.

Suburbia dh's family tried that one with us and we both just howled with laughter - we might end up in suburbia but am not doing it in my 30's!

Darth - I had as many issues with pollen in the town as I do in the country - I am massively affected by tree pollen and it never got blown away! But I do agree about wheelchair users, although I would have thought being a wheelchair user on the pavements is a bit of a pita in a very central part of a town, although you can then get into the pub (one seriously seriously hopes!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Oh Hatwoman, I see what you mean ... but I feel to confess that I do feel pangs of sheer love for my city. It might have to do with the fact that I lived away for a good number of yrs.

Love and hate is what I feel for my city, deep love and deep hate. Oh I so wish it was greener and friendlier like other more civilised European cities!

Actually, I am also moved by nature. One of the place I love the most is the Aeolian islands with their dramatic landscapes and the sea that is so warm, it's like being in a womb. However, despite loving them I wouldn't manage to live there.

Suburbia is great, it's the best of both worlds :) Totally unfashionable of course, but so what?