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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why people choose to live in the countryside?

176 replies

cumbria81 · 03/05/2011 14:11

Don't get me wrong, I love the countryside as much as the next person. I spend most of my weekends there walking/cycling/whatever.

But why on earth would you want to live in the back end of nowhere where you have to get in the car to buy a pint of milk and everything is a logistical nightmare?

Where I live, 2 miles from a city centre, I can walk to work/a swimming pool/cinema/shops/theatre/train station etc etc. I can also, if I want, run/walk off road through parks and woods for a few miles and am out of the city and into rural land - so best of both.

I don't mind sitting in the car for 1.5 hours on the weekend to get out to the real countryside (ie Dales and Lakes) but if I had to drive every single day for everything I think I'd go spare.

OP posts:
Francagoestohollywood · 03/05/2011 14:28

YANBU, I think the English countryside is lovely, but I panic if I have too much nature around (unless I'm on holiday). I like to live 3 minutes walk from a bus stop etc etc.

City life can be stressful, but I like it.

Francagoestohollywood · 03/05/2011 14:28

I lived 8 yeas in a small town in the UK and found ti claustrophobic, despite the fact that it was lovely.

GalaxyGuzzler · 03/05/2011 14:29

Every time I go to a city it strikes me why would anyone want to live there. To me they always seem dirty, crowded and noisy. But is all about personal choice.

ggirl · 03/05/2011 14:32

I think some people's idea of what the countryside is is completely NOT the coutryside to me
we had kirsty and phil in our town looking for a 'countryside home' for some londoners
market town does not equal countryside

Ragwort · 03/05/2011 14:32

I've got the best of both worlds as I live in a small market town; spent 8 years in the a tiny village and am glad to have moved away now - I now have beautiful countryside outside my window (looking at it now Grin) yet I can walk to a supermarket, library, swimming pool, school etc etc and more importantly my DS can be independent and not rely on his parents to have to take and fetch him from everywhere. The village was very nice but there were no pavements to walk on so it was impossible for children to go out and 'enjoy' the open spaces - we still ended up driving him to the local park, beach etc Grin. Give me a small town anyday Smile.

mrskbpw · 03/05/2011 14:33

I am a real city girl so I may be biased but I do sometimes wonder this as I hate driving and parking and walk everywhere if I can. I would loathe having to get in the car to go anywhere.

My sister-in-law lives in the country and she struggled when her baby was small as she couldn't go for a walk (no pavements!) with the pushchair. I think it's a bit weird to live in the lovely, unspoiled, quiet countryside and be so reliant on your noisy, smelly (and nowadays, expensive) car.

Hecate you must be a super-fast walker (or perhaps I am just used to going everywhere with a veeeeery slooooooow 4-year-old) but I couldn't walk a couple of miles in five minutes...!

bizzieb33 · 03/05/2011 14:33

We have a milkman Smile

Ragwort · 03/05/2011 14:34

PS: Also didn't like the insularity of village life - the shock if anyone did not conform to the 'stereotype' of being white and middle class was horrific to see.

ggirl · 03/05/2011 14:36

I have an aversion to the word 'village' for some reason. Sort of a smug word.

elastamum · 03/05/2011 14:37

YABU, but its a personal choice. I sepnt 20 years in a very affulent city in the SE and have been in very rural Derbyshire for the past 3.

Have only 3 other houses within walking distance. Love the peace, the fields and forests. Kids have masses of space to play. Can walk my dogs for hours from my house without crossing a road. Leave the back door open all the time. Would never go back to living in town.

Shopping is delivered once a week by Ocado, pick up other stuff from the village on my way back from work, not really a problem IMO

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 03/05/2011 14:37

no. Grin the couple of miles for milk
and the idea of 5 minutes up the road being a long way

were two seperate points Grin

as it happens, we live in the derbyshire dales, in the middle of some of the most wonderful scenery in the country, 15 minutes from sheffield, 30minutes -40 minutes? from manchester and although the nearest supermarket is in sheffield, there are local (bloody expensive, mind!) shops. so we are not properly rural rural.

Although I have been. and it has been a car trip for a pint of milk. and it's no big deal.

HalfPastWine · 03/05/2011 14:38

Now why did someone have to mention spiders and ruin my dreams of the country! Grin

MorrisZapp · 03/05/2011 14:39

The countryside looks lovely but I never know what to do once I get there.

It always baffles me on property shows when people say 'oh but this busy road will put buyers off' - I grew up assuming that busy roads were good things!

I suppose it's just what you're used to. I think I'd manage about three days in proper countryside before losing my mind. But appreciate that many people feel that way about the city.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 03/05/2011 14:40

"PS: Also didn't like the insularity of village life - the shock if anyone did not conform to the 'stereotype' of being white and middle class was horrific to see."

working class, mixed race family here. incomers too Shock and most welcome and no problems at all. Not here, and not the properly rural car drive for a pint of milk village we lived in before.

So it's not a certainty of Village Life that you will suffer. I wouldn't like people to think that if you are not white it is inevitable that you will have problems in rural areas.

Fennel · 03/05/2011 14:40

having moved from big city to little village, things I like which I hadn't really anticipated:
Really clean air.
Seeing the stars at night.
Everyone being friendly to us and talking to us all the time.
dc can prance all over the place and if they get lost or anxious someone will help them.
can leave the doors unlocked and don't need a burglar alarm. I hadn't realised, for my 2 decades living in major cities, just how relaxing that would be.

ours isn't deep country though, we can walk into nearby city and rarely use our car, though I see Franca has just called our local city a 'small town' so I guess it's all relative.

nickelbabe · 03/05/2011 14:40

spiders aren't a problem, believe me! Grin

even if you were scared, after a month, you wouldn't even notice them!

NinkyNonker · 03/05/2011 14:41

Absolutely EmptyShell, wherever I go I feel I've arrived when I can see the sea, a view is empty without it. Can't actually see the sea from our house though, wouldn't have been able to afford it if we could!

Original poster
cumbria81 · 03/05/2011 14:41

But what happens when your kids are 12 etc and want to go off and meet their friends or go to the cinema with them or shopping or simply "hang out"? You will have to do a heck of a lot of driving then.

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 03/05/2011 14:43

true, Ragwort what Hec says - I wasn't middle class, and I lived on a farm, where my next door neighbour was a Lord.
i'm very working class and my dad is very anti-establishment (so thinks Lords should be abolished), and I fitted in with them very well.

everyone in the two villages near the farm was welcoming and friendly.
If you join in with local events etc, you'll always be welcomed.

hobbgoblin · 03/05/2011 14:43

Of course, there is so much affordable housing in the cities and suburbs isn't there?! Plenty of room for all...no housing issues whatsoever in the UK.

God what a div tastic post.

Ragwort · 03/05/2011 14:44

Hecate - 15 minutes to a busy city like Sheffield is a lot different to some of the rural areas in this country - I would have had to drive for 60 minutes to get to my nearest town Grin. Sounds a good compromise where you live. Also, sorry if I am generalising but I used to live in the North and do find attitudes to different cultures much more welcoming that I have seen in the South East. Smile.

nickelbabe · 03/05/2011 14:44

you'd have to give them lifts - or palm them off on townie friends for the day.

pranma · 03/05/2011 14:46

I love to see the stars without pollution and to hear the birds.I like recognising almost everyone at the shops and knowing all my neighbours.I like not locking doors,hardly any traffic etc.I live in a biggish village/small[very small]town.We have one street,a co-op,a deli, a hardware shop,coffee shop etc and I can walk to doc,dentist,vet,library,station,shops in 5 minutes[max].I wouldnt live in a big city for anything- a very occasional foray is more than enough for me.{I especially dislike London for more than a day trip].

nijinsky · 03/05/2011 14:49

To have a big house with land for horses, OP!

Also for peace and quiet, privacy, good views, no need to lock door, garden to relax in, ability to go for a short walk right from my front door, plenty of safe parking for my Mercs and horsebox and convenience for shops - where I live its much easier to drive to the nearest Marks and Spencer and load the shopping into my car than it is from my town flat, which involved getting a bus in and humping heavy bags back. Said bus is always late, full of smelly people and not enough seats. The whole procedure is just hassle.

It is my suspicion though that some people have always lived in what I would term "artificial environments" e.g. cities, housing estates, etc and are quite afraid of being in the countryside. All I would say is that this is not really a normal state of affairs and that it probably means you are unable to understand what the countryside has to offer.

Anyway, is it not any more the done thing to live in the city when you are younger and then when you have made your pile, move out to the countryside, either with or without retaining a base in town?

MMQC · 03/05/2011 14:49

We live in the middle of nowhere. Up a track with five other houses, a mile from the nearest village. Most days I don't leave the house. Work from home, children get the bus to school and my shopping is delivered. So the odd trip out in the car is more a treat than a chore.

I would go a very long way to avoid having to go into a city. I see no need. I'm less than an hour from London and haven't been in for nearly ten years. Cities more local to me are not much better. They're just hectic and dangerous and completely the opposite of relaxing.