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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed about this FB comment...?

102 replies

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 29/04/2011 15:53

DH wrote something along the lines of "feel sorry for Prince william, all that money and his wife still isnt as pretty as mine" A tad sick inducing, I know, but a work colleague of mine wrote underneath "you should have gone to specsavers"
IABU to be a tad annoyed at this? She is being a bitch, isnt she, I'm not just being silly? :(

OP posts:
Geepers · 29/04/2011 22:37

I'd have assumed she meant that KM is beautiful not that you are not. But then I don't loom for negatives in everything people write or say and I am notoriously difficult to offend as I always assume people don't set out to deliberately say something hurtful.

herbietea · 29/04/2011 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PaisleyLeaf · 29/04/2011 22:43

What he wrote was a bit cringeworthy, which is sort of crying out for a comment like that (unless you want them to just write "awwwww").

worraliberty · 29/04/2011 22:44

I'm sorry, I've only read the OP and almost pissed myself laughing Grin

That's such a joke...lighten up!

wotnochocs · 29/04/2011 22:45

Well I would be more mortified by my DH posting something as vomit-inducing as that and would laugh at the comment unless I really thought I was better looking than KM.But perhaps you do ?

hairfullofsnakes · 29/04/2011 22:51

What a nasty, bitchy thing to say! Not funny at all as I agree that your dh should simply REMOVE the comment without comment on it or say something like 'wow, someone is being a bit of a bitch!' ;)

wotnochocs · 29/04/2011 22:55

'or say something like 'wow, someone is being a bit of a bitch!' ;)'

NO don't do that!!! It's a joke- not funny to you because you're the butt of it but please it will make you sound so precious if you or your DH leave that comment

PorcelinaOfTheVastOceans · 29/04/2011 23:12

depends how well i knew her. if it was a close mutual friend then it wouldn't bother me, i'd just take it as cheeky banter. if it was someone i didn't know then i would be Hmm as it is nothing but bitchy. glad he's deleted it :)

Penelope1980 · 29/04/2011 23:19

YANBU. I don't find put downs funny, and tend to think that people who rely on them as "jokes" are usually unable to be funny in other ways or using humour to cover a mean streak.

HarrietSchulenberg · 29/04/2011 23:28

What sort of comments did you/your dh expect to receive? That kind of status update just asks for ego-busting responses. Unless you really are prettier than Kate Middleton, but then beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that.

aurynne · 30/04/2011 07:34

In my opinion, allsquareknickersnofurcoat, your DH posted an incredibly twee comment and made it available to (probably) 500 of his "friends" and acquaintances. I find the reply hilarious and, in fact, the kind I would have posted... I am tempted to open a FB account just to be able to post responses like these Grin

There is nothing more ridiculous than sweet-lovey-dovey declarations of eternal passion in the open. When my DP tells me things like these, he does it in private. Surely any grown-up person knows that their DP/DW/DH is only beautiful and special in their own eyes...

TheBolter · 30/04/2011 07:43

Oh dear - I'd see this as a joke. My friends and I make comments like this all the time to one another. I thought I was sensitive but clearly I'm not and have been going round offending others without knowing it!

I think a lot depends on who it is that's made the comment though - perhaps I'm so blinkered I don't believe I live in a world where people who are meant to be 'friends' put each other down?

There is one woman I know though who is always making put downs so regardless of whether she is or not I always suspect what she says, but unless your colleague is like that, I'd see it as a joke.

Goblinchild · 30/04/2011 07:49

I thought it was funny, but I choose my friends carefully.
I have acquaintances that are twee and dribblesome, and that's where they will stay in my relationships, because I couldn't be arsed to go around apologising for squishing their marshmallow and candyfloss lives.
I just wear my professional face and smile nicely. And don't comment.

TheBolter · 30/04/2011 07:50

And I totally agree with aurynne.

In fact I have a feeling that I've offended a friend by making a slightly sarcastic comment on her FB status. It was done in good humour and wasn't personal about her, and most people I know would have found it funny, so it kind of suggests to me that her sense of humour is somewhat lacking and perhaps she is just a leetle bit too prickly for me to relax with! Thinking about it, all her friends are a bit 'aww... hun xxxx' ish to me Grin. I generally find I get on better with people who don't take themselves too seriously and can be a bit self-deprecating, like me!

I promise I'm a nice person who means well!

Bluemoonrising · 30/04/2011 08:10

If my DP wrote something like that on his facebook I would be MORTIFIED! And I would be delighted that someone posted something cheeky like that so I could agree - in fact I'd probably have posted it myself!

DontGoCurly · 30/04/2011 08:26

Hey, OP for God's sake don't put anything back that shows you might have taken it literally, everyone will just think you've had a total sense of humour bypass.

I'm pretty certain that it's a joke. It's exactly the kind of thing most people I know would retort almost automatically to what your DH posted. It certainly would not have been meant as a literal 'put-down'

In fact if anyone really thought that they'd never joke about it. You know the person best, if they seem ok in every other way just forget about it. Their only mistake was maybe being slightly over familiar.

JimmyChooChoo · 30/04/2011 12:17

FB 'friend' probably just telling the truthGrin

PortBlackSandwitch · 30/04/2011 12:27

I defriended someone yesterday - but not before putting some choice words on her 'thread' - no idea what she made of it as i defriended her.

She put something like - "why do i always end up with the wierdos on the bus" and a friend of hers put "cuz you got on the sunshine bus" or similar - then it went into lols and window licking comments....i was so annoyed i felt i had to put something. (old uni "friend" btw and not someone i'm likely to ever meet again - thank God).

people are such arseholes and fb makes them feel 'safe' and seems to bring out the worst in them. Why not defriend her if that's what you want to do?

smallmotherbigheart · 30/04/2011 15:53

Yeah those kind of comments can feel awful. The thing is just because its FB doesnt mean that its ok to write stuff like that, particularly when u arent close enough to the person for them to know its a joke. Anyway, look on the bright side, at least your husband is clearly proud of you. Why dont you just bask in the moment and write something ridiculously romantic back on the post? If shes being a cow it will deffo irritate her x

BeeMyBaby · 30/04/2011 16:00

YANBU, I would be very upset if someone put that on my DH's FB and I know DH would de-friend them on my behalf.

PlumBumMum · 30/04/2011 16:04

Geeepers thats the way I seen it too, she could be cringing thinking oh shit din't mean it the other way round

DontGoCurly · 30/04/2011 16:06

write something ridiculously romantic back on the post? If shes being a cow it will deffo irritate her

No no NO dont! It won't irritate her, it's just be more fuel for people to jest.... she'll just think it's hilarious! And so will everyone else. Couples who try to act loved up on FB are a laughing stock!

Don't make a show of yourself any further! And tell DH to keep his lurve to himself!

kerstina · 30/04/2011 17:31

It is bitchy and there was no need to comment but Kate Middleton is beautiful.(IMO)so perhaps she was defending her? Beauty is definately in the eye of the beholder. Just because your DH thinks you are gorgeous does not mean that every single person will have to agree.

megapixels · 30/04/2011 22:47

I think that the point is that, you don't say things like you feel sorry for a man that his bride isn't as pretty as yours on their wedding day. Kind of a really twatty thing to do even if you don't know them. Reeks of insecurity and jealousy. Maybe the commentor felt that your husband needed a cutting remark because of that.

Totally not fair on you though. Would have been fairer to insult your husband instead Grin.

smallmotherbigheart · 01/05/2011 20:16

Couples who try to act loved up on FB are a laughing stock!

Wow, since when do we need restrictions on public affection.... I suppose you think that her dp's attempt to compliment his wife on fb was ridiculous too Confused