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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to consider not going through with this wedding

63 replies

KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 06:39

I am meant to be getting married later this morning. I really love my husband to be and we have been together since university (except for a brief break).

I really wish though that we could just cancel today's huge event and do something more low key. My inlaws socialise in very different circles to me and my family. There are loads of guests coming that I don't even know but they have been invited as it "is the right thing to do".

What would you do? Shall I go through with it because I love him or should I ask to postpone for a more personal do or should I just back out altogether?

OP posts:

compo · 29/04/2011 06:43

You must go through with it or else you'll destroy the hopes and dreams of random strangers who don't think it's odd to sleep all night near the church you're getting wed in

BumptiousandBustly · 29/04/2011 06:46

Its too late - there are now tea towels involved.

However if you really can't cope - i would suggest backing out completely, at the very last minute - just don't get in the car when it comes - that way its too late for your ILS to pressure you.

Cartoose · 29/04/2011 06:46

Sell the new tiara and run away. Stay with that uncle of yours. You know you'd have way more fun

OnesAmpleBosom · 29/04/2011 06:47

Just slip out the back door quietly, i'm sure nobody will notice [cgrin]

Iwishiwasaprincess · 29/04/2011 06:50

Can you please leg it AFTER we've all seen the dress.. .

It's the only bit we are really interested in. We'll forgive you anything as long as we like the dress

maddiemostmerry · 29/04/2011 06:51

Elope. We are going to Chessington WOA today. Perhaps you could join us on Professor Burps Bubbleworks for the ceremony. We would happily share our pizza with you and your groom.

Original poster

KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 07:05

BumptiousandBustly - I'm wondering about your suggestion about just not getting in the car. It's a carriage though and there's going to be so many people around, taking photos, etc I just don't think it will be easy to back out at that point.

Maddie - now that sounds much more like a fun day than what I have ahead of me. Maybe I'll text hubby-to-be and see whether he would contemplate meeting up there?!

I do think I will have to go ahead though as there are so many people I would be letting down otherwise. I am normally a confident person but this is kind of overwhelming.

On the other hand, I wanted my wedding day to be spent with people I love and to be the best day of my life. I think this will be the biggest nightmare of my life!

OP posts:

Iwishiwasaprincess · 29/04/2011 07:07

I have to admit, I wouldn't swap your wedding day with mine for all the welsh gold in the world!

Finallyspring · 29/04/2011 07:20

I think you should go ahead with the wedding.
BTW if you have children do you think you will bf or ff ?

Original poster

KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 07:24

Oh my parents are banging on my door (we've stayed in a hotel together for the night) to tell me to hurry up as the hairdresser will be here at 8.30am and they want me to have some breakfast first. I really don't think I could eat a thing!

FinallySpring - well yes, I think we'll definitely be having children...
I would like to BF but not sure how practical that will be as I am going to be involved with a lot of public engagements and lots of travelling. My hubby-to-be's family historically always have a nanny for their children. We will have a few staff to help us around the house though so maybe we could use cloth nappies. I think FIL would like that as he is very keen on environmental issues.

OP posts:

slovenlydotcom · 29/04/2011 07:25

go through with it for a bit of a laugh. You can divorce him later.

CheshireDing · 29/04/2011 07:25

Think you will have to go through with it, you could always divorce him after a couple of years once all his hair has gone etc.

Personally it's your call though because I am off to Chester Zoo.

P.S. You need to eat something too otherwise they might start to say you have become like that loose cannon, Diana I think was her name.

Original poster

KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 07:35

Right I really do have to go and start to get ready. Not sure whether to say anything to my parents or not over breakfast. I think they'd be very disappointed if I did as they've been waiting for this day for a long time...

OP posts:

Iwishiwasaprincess · 29/04/2011 07:37

Ahh... Enjoy.

I wouldn't say anything. Your mother might choke on her museli!

It'll be over soon and you will be jetting off somewhere sunny!

(If you do back out, can I go on the honeymoon? I could do with a holiday)

flamingtoaster · 29/04/2011 07:43

I think you must go through with it - there'd be even more media coverage if you didn't and you can't inflict that on everyone. When you have children don't get side-tracked by the bf/ff issue - what everyone will be watching to see is whether Fruit Shoots will be getting a Royal Warrant.

Morloth · 29/04/2011 07:43

I would run, run while you still can!

2blessed2bstressed · 29/04/2011 07:49

Run.......run as fast as your ridiculously skinny legs will let you...

Georgimama · 29/04/2011 07:51

Do it - all the wedding tat will eventually be worth a fortune.

Fruits Shoots have got a royal warrant already - they're made by Robinsons....

Original poster

KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 07:58

Right I'm out of the shower and breakfast is being sent up to us. I don't think I can say anything to my parents. I'm just going to have to do it aren't I...

Surely all the wedding tat would be worth even more if I don't go through with it? (getting side-tracked now!)

Maybe I could put my energies onto removing the Royal Warrant from Fruit Shoots?

OP posts:

Iwishiwasaprincess · 29/04/2011 08:00

That;s the spirit, Katethebride

Fruit shoots are the work of the devil!

Hope you have a fab day (whether or not you are planning to get married today!)

Georgimama · 29/04/2011 08:00

That's what I meant. Obviously not too coherent at this time of the morning.

Was your suite nice? What's for brekkie?

Iwishiwasaprincess · 29/04/2011 08:08

Queenie has obviously heard of your doubts.

Apparently, if you DO go through with it, you will be Duchess of Cambridge.

I'd stick out for a princess myself.

Original poster

KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 08:08

Sutie is lovely but maybe a bit OTT - they got me a huge brand new bed! V comfy if only I could have got some sleep!

Brekkie is still arriving - so far there's been 10 hotel staff bring up the following:
fresh coffee, tea, hot chocolate
fruit - every variety you can think of fresh and tinned
muesli
porridge
about another 6 varieties of cereal
enough full cooked breakfast for the entire guest list
pastries, ham and cheese

and it's still coming!
I really don't know if I can eat anything. Off to try, back later!

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 29/04/2011 08:11

no kippers?

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 29/04/2011 08:11

I agree - i wouldn't put up with all that for anything less than princess.

You didn't sign a pre-nupt did you?

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