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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider not going through with this wedding

63 replies

KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 06:39

I am meant to be getting married later this morning. I really love my husband to be and we have been together since university (except for a brief break).

I really wish though that we could just cancel today's huge event and do something more low key. My inlaws socialise in very different circles to me and my family. There are loads of guests coming that I don't even know but they have been invited as it "is the right thing to do".

What would you do? Shall I go through with it because I love him or should I ask to postpone for a more personal do or should I just back out altogether?

OP posts:
TethersEnd · 29/04/2011 08:11

Have you considered a stunt double?

twlight · 29/04/2011 08:11

Just get the champers out and get drunk - that'll liven it all up :-).

TandB · 29/04/2011 08:21

At least pretend to do a runner! Once round the block in the limo should do it....

Tamashii · 29/04/2011 08:27

Loving this :D

Georgimama · 29/04/2011 08:33

So is the hair going up or down?

Please don't overdo the eyeliner. You wear too much.

Original poster
KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 08:34

Kippers have arrived. Also eggs Benedict and scrambled egg with smoked salmon and a selection of yoghurt.

The champagne is a good idea, especially as they've brought some up for breakfast. I'll have some of that but I really can't face anything else. I keep waking up feeling really nauseous. I hope it's just nerves...

OP posts:
saggarmakersbottomknocker · 29/04/2011 08:36

Just get squiffy Kate, and fluff your lines for a laugh. Call him Billy-Bob Banana Hammock or something.

Original poster
KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 08:36

Hairdresser just arriving. We've done a few trials but he reckons he knows exactly what to do with it. I'll down sip my champagne what he gets to work...

OP posts:
Original poster
KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 08:38

while he gets to work.
Sorry, nerves affecting my typing

OP posts:
TeamLemon · 29/04/2011 08:38

I think you should elope to Vegas and get Elvis to conduct your ceremony.

Wamster · 29/04/2011 08:39

Look on the bright side, dear, didn't I recall you saying that your dh-to-be's mum is no longer around? Can't remember why exactly. You have surely seen all the anti-mil threads here; I'd say count yourself lucky and go for it!

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 29/04/2011 08:41

That's a good point Wamster. The aunt looks a bit of a battleaxe though.

rainbowinthesky · 29/04/2011 08:43

I just knew the first port of call for advice for Kate would be mumsnet especially today!

Original poster
KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 08:43

It's the stepMIL tbh. She's so....horsey...... I'm allergic to horses!

OP posts:
Wamster · 29/04/2011 08:43

Aye, but step mother-in-law looks allright, a bit of a laugh: don't give a f* as long as she's got her horses and gin.

hotandhappy · 29/04/2011 08:44

tell them you have the trots and cancel till another day - i presume you took wedding insurance.

welshbyrd · 29/04/2011 08:45

Southern Comfort Kate, thats just what you need to clam your nerves, it will help you with your aisle sway to the altar?

Gretna green is a possibility, can you ask husband to be/whoever the lucky chap is, to whisk you up there? if its a quiet/more private affair you want?

Poor you

welshbyrd · 29/04/2011 08:46

Loving "horsey"

My MIL is the same Blush

wildfig · 29/04/2011 08:47

Do it, Kate - your mother will go absolutely NUTS if you back out now.

(Pippa's been trying on your dress, so even if you do back out, they'll just lock you in the wardrobe and send Pips down with an extra thick veil on.)

Original poster
KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 08:51

Gretna Green sounds lovely but I'm really not sure I can back out now. Apparently the guests are starting to arrive!

If I said anything about having the trots to StepMIL, she'd probably get me trotting to the Abbey instead of being driven. Not in this dress, I'm telling you!

Right have to "stay still" for hairdresser and then make-up. Will try and keep posting if I get chance. You imaginary friends are a good dose of reality for me this morning!

OP posts:
Wamster · 29/04/2011 08:59

Look, Kate, on balance perhaps not having a mil to contend with is a really a poor excuse to go ahead with this wedding. I mean, crikey, it's not as if anybody has to get married these days, is it? I recall you saying that you and dh-to-be have lived together for a good few years already. Is not that enough for his family?

I mean, OK, I understand his family are a bit, y'know, posh and conservative (with a small 'c') but couldn't they rewrite their legal stuff so you get what you deserve without being wed? Or, if your dp were to die, you should inherit everything cos everybody knows that you've been cohabiting a while, don't they?
OK, OK, I appreciate that there may be other women that your dp has been involved with coming forward to claim rightful inheritance- a blonde totty that your dp had a six-week bunk-up back in 2000 for example, but surely they'll see sense and give you everything? Especially if you have dc's. I know this will be a shocking proposal for your dp's family; them never, ever producing illegitimate children and all, but I think you should suggest this NOW.

welshbyrd · 29/04/2011 09:02

Don"t do it Kate!!!
You need sometime to think, your obviously under a lot of pressure
Come to Folly Farm with us instead, we have some pay for one, get one free tickets.

We have done a lovely packed lunch, im sure we have enough to go around

If we chuck one of the kids in the boot, will have room to give you a lift Wink

Wamster · 29/04/2011 09:04

What a lovely suggestion, welshbyrd, only goes to prove that mners aren't a cynical, heartless bunch of piss takers, after all.

Original poster
KatetheBride · 29/04/2011 09:15

1900 guests and I know about 5% of them. How ridiculous is that?!

OP posts:
Wamster · 29/04/2011 09:22

You mean the guests are from the year 1900?! Crikey! Hey, it's impressive that you know 5% of them so take heart Smile