to thunk this is rather inconsiderate

[Thistledew]

DSis, who is in her 50s, sent me a text at about 11am today to say she was on her way over to visit our dad, and could I let him and my mum know.

Not a problem so far, but ...

I don't live with my parents.
She had not made any prior arangement with them.
Dad is elderly, and gets quite stressed at unexpected guests arriving when he has not had time to prepare.
Mum is often away at work so may not have been able to be there to help dad with food etc for guests.
DSis still has not given an eta.
She texted me a few moments ago to ask for directions for a route that I never drive so can't advise her on, but which will be the last hour and a half of the journey.

At what point does this go from being her flighty personality, to actually quite rude?

You all sound round the blinking bend to me.

Thanks for that pink. Care to expand?

why does she need directions to her parents house? she sounds inconciderate if not rude

I have no idea. They have only lived there for about 35 years.

It is really not that easy to confuse the rooms. The door to their room is right by the end of the bannister. The other room is not.

Mofo- yes, my mum talked to me about it because the visit left her feeling really stressed. Much like me posting on here, she wanted a second opinion on whether DSis had been inconsiderate and rude, or whether she was overreacting because of stress she has been under lately.

Hardly dripping it in. Look at the dates of the posts. I could hardly post about it before it happened.

It was part of a series of events that left my mum feeling really stressed and wondering if she had cause or was overreacting.

The tea thing does seem stranger than fiction, but is true- honest!

Sorry, but your mum lets her get away with it.

And your Dad gets stressed if he can´t prepare for guests-it´s his bloody daughter popping over FFS!

How was she 'letting her get away with it'? What should she have done?

It's a 6 hour journey for them. Not just popping in.

If that version of events is even remotely likely, the waking up of a poor man just out of surgery is bang out of order, the tea, the sausages and the imposing themselves to stay is beyond unacceptable.

If that were my sister, I'd be straight over to hers, face to face and tear a strip off the pair of them.

She didn´t have to find bloody sausages, she didn´t say anything to your sister about not helping.

She gave up her bed...

Can your sister do anything right for anyone or does she act like she does because either way she gets bitched about?

I find your mum´s moaning to you disgusting tbh & the fact that you think you should also moan to your sister about it really odd.

So your mum had no warning at all of them coming over?

Right, the next time you get a heads up of them going over, you call your mum and tell her, at the very least to enable her to get them booked into a B&B, preferably a pricey one.

I do think that the waking your father is very odd.

So diddl and mofo - do you think she was perfectly reasonable and my mum should not have been upset?

Or should my mum have bottled it up and not offloaded to me?

I have a good relationship with my mum and we talk to each other about things that have upset us. I did not think that anyone would find that strange.

Your mum should have spoken to your sister at the time.

I´d be mortified as an adult if I thought my Mum couldn´t talk to me & bitched to my sister.

In fact, on the rare occasions I might have said anything about my sister, my parents listen, but would also get me to see it from her side & would never join in.