to expect a 'warmer' reception? Some people shouldn't have houseguests...

[BlackSwan]

Just got back from holiday visiting relatives o/s to introduce them to our bub... had been warmly invited to stay (after offering to stay in a hotel) - arrived with bundles of gifts, cooked, cleaned, paid for groceries... only to be told to please make sure I turned off the bathroom light if I wasn't in there...eh, excuse me... sorry if I found it a little dark walking around with a baby in my arms. 'My fault... ok' I said - & made sure not to do it again. Also their house was freeezing cold, but they never turned on a heater. Even had to ask to turn the water heater on before I wanted a luke-warm shower. Needed to boil the kettle to make a bath for the baby. I now have a throat infection which I caught from one of the relatives. Hoping baby doesn't get sick too. Our hosts are obsessively neat. She even washes hen's eggs. Is this normal? He picked up what was quite possibly one of my hairs from the bench and walked it over to the bin. I'm no slob... but it was a chore keeping up with the constant cleaning. Had taken their child an outfit as one of the presents... though it fits, the mother wants a larger size, so she sent me home with it and wants me to exchange it and post another one. Honestly, I think I might just give it to someone more grateful.

Turtles breathe out of chickens' fannies?

at MrsSs confusion.

Well you don't want those pesky little blighter germs crawling out of the bin blackswan

YANBU, they sound neurotic. How joyless an existence!

Washing eggs actually introduces germs "The basic issue is that dirty eggs are covered with bacteria, which have trouble getting through the shell so long as it's dry. As soon as the shell is wet, they pass through the shell more easily." from this website. I'm sure during the salmonella crisis we we're told not to wash eggs.

Without knowing the country concerned, it's difficult to comment. But in their defence, I'd say for instance that many European countries have charging systems in place for domestic waste collection, and a household that doesn't present clean, properly sorted waste for recycling will be fined or have to pay more for disposal. In this country, we can put loose waste into a bin as our climate is more forgiving. If I was in southern Europe or the Med then I can understand bagging things to deal with hot climate, flies, and possibly other vermin that may be an issue.

Some countries also have quite strict rules (Germany for instance) on when you can hang out washing or do other domestic jobs such as cutting the grass or washing the car.

Similarly, you may have felt cold, but perhaps the temperature was what they were used to and didn't think it was a problem. If you were folding laundry, was this because you offered? If so, then don't be surprised if they take you up on it!

Their financial position is not your concern. Without knowing the relative costs of local taxation, national taxes, utility bills and arrangements it's not fair to comment, even if they have paid off their mortgage. If they are in a country with self pay healthcare for instance, every spare penny may be going towards that, or building a cushion for themselves in case of illness.

YANBU they sound an absolute nightmare. Everyone is so tolerant on here, or so they say. It's easy to be judgy from a safe distance. They sound like appalling hosts without the first idea of how to treat guests. Rule number one is that you make people feel comfortable in your home. Well they failed that one by the sound of it.

Oh and take the outfit back and spend the money on alcohol or chocolate of your choice, sounds like you deserve it!

Yes i would certainly take the outfit back and not get another one. That was terribly ungracious IMO.

The other stuff you are talking about- some of it sounds wacky. And not welcoming. Once I offerred to cut up a tomato for salad at a BBQ, and I did it in cubes, which is how I always do tomato. The hostess tut tutted with genuine irritation as she likes tomatos sliced in rings. That pissed me off, tbh. i guess that is the kind of thing you mean Black?

Agree with perfumedlife. Not putting the lights on to save money is RIDICULOUS! They need to learn how to be hospitable as they have no clue! who are they to you? Aunts? Uncles? Don't go again

yanbu, I guess only in aibu would folk do their damnedest to make sure you don't deserve to be given a hard time.

One of the poorest families I know is mortgage free (owns house outright), but they put the heating on for visitors & don't hassle them about lighting & recycling (or how to fold their clothes or where to dry them). But it slightly depends how long you were staying for.. more than a week, I suppose?

My MIL can be a bit like OP describes; mostly she's quite nice & I wouldn't stay there more than 2 nights, anyway. But certain things are just unthinkable in her mind, like unfolded clothes, delayed mealtimes, anybody sleeping past 7:30am or leaving the washing out overnight. But she'd offer to do everything her way for her guest, she wouldn't issue directions.

How long were you staying for?

Black Swan - I think some of the posters here are being rather obtuse and nit picking. I understand completely what you are saying and YANBU. Doesn't sound like they did anything to make you feel welcome or relaxed and I bet you were glad to escape. Why are some people so miserable?