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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dtwat is an arse who i'm slowly starting to hate. I have just snapped his head off

75 replies

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/04/2011 22:31

He has always been a keen cyclist which has never been an issue. Until he discovered endofuckingmondo which is a worldwide cycling competition jobby, done via satnav or summat. Which he then tracks on the laptop, think he's number 14

For the past few weeks dp has been cycling 50 miles per day on days he works, 100 miles on his days off.

Today he was off work, he gave ds his breakfast then went out around 9am, came back at 1pm, swept up when I asked him then fucked off again till 8pm to give ds his bedtime story, he's just gone out again. Hardly saw him over easter and i've basically been a single parent to two kids with autism for the past few months.

Anyways, after gently simmering the past few weeks I am starting to get snippy, he announced earlier he's lost 2 stone in a month, to which I replied 'no fucking shit sherlock, if I dumped all childcare on you for a month or so and constantly pedalled I bet i'd lose a ton n all [cangry] to which he started bleating about taking ds out Sunday afternoon, I could have gone out then (I sat on my arse and observed the silence I confess)

To top it all he's worn the crank out on his and is using my rather expensive and shiny bike which he bought me for christmas, until he gets his fixed [canry]

So will I be unreasonable to either lock my bike up with a series of complex chains ? OR, hide it round my sisters and let him think it's been stolen ?

I also feel sad and lonely, i'm sick of doing things on my own and have been comfort eating buttery mash and easter eggs Sad He isn't even coming food shopping with me tomorrow Sad

OP posts:
Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 27/04/2011 22:34

tell him to do the fucking shopping and get your arse on your shiny bike for some mileage.

vintageteacups · 27/04/2011 22:35

I hope you didn't eat the buttery mash and easter eggs together??? Grin

I think he's only thinking of himself and whilst it's obviously his passion, he cannot put you second. You're a family and I don't think YABU at all - you should defo hide your bike.

vintageteacups · 27/04/2011 22:35

Oh and take him out for dinner (so you can't argue) and tell him a few home truths about how you feel (sad and lonely).

MaisyMooCow · 27/04/2011 22:36

Sounds like he's taking the piss a bit and needs to reign it in.

GypsyMoth · 27/04/2011 22:36

wow.....that sat nav bike thing sounds good!!

sorry,not what you wanted to hear!! sympathies....tons of it......lots of threads in this vein lately

oldenoughtowearpurple · 27/04/2011 22:37

Set up a Cycling Rota. You don't have to actually cycle when it's your turn, you can push your bike round the corner to the nearest cafe, buy a lovely magazine and laze around ordering coffee and eating cupcakes.

purplepidjin · 27/04/2011 22:41

Just remove the pedals/chain/wheel from your bike and keep in a safe place until you are ready to use it.

You have 2 children, they and you are far more important than a bunch of pixels on a computer - what is his opinion on Call Of Duty, World Of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons et al??

Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/04/2011 22:45

At the risk of creating another cycle widow it's a free android app, winner gets an endomondo t shirt [chmm]

Pidjin, if I knew how to i'd remove bits of bike and leave ransom notes round the house [cwink]

Getting seriously pissed off now tho

OP posts:
Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/04/2011 22:47

Nah, not a gamer. He has a ps3 which I use for dvds more than anything

OP posts:
Tryharder · 27/04/2011 22:47

100 miles a day??? Bloody hell. Not sure whether your DH is barking mad or superhuman...

But yeah, YANBU. I've heard of people becoming addicted to exercise though. Does he think he's doing anything wrong by spending all his time on the bike?

InvisabilityCloak · 27/04/2011 22:48

He is doing all that for a fucking t-shirt? [cshock]

NickRobinsonsloveslave · 27/04/2011 22:52

Hide the bike...yours AND his.

AgentZigzag · 27/04/2011 22:56

I'd be seriously worried about someone who's so obssessively exercising, for no apparent reason.

I could understand it if he was training for an expedition or something, but just against 'himself' so to speak, is pretty extreme.

And no wonder you're getting fucked off with it taking up so much of his time.

Something has to give somewhere, it's getting him to realise what he's got apart from the cycling that's the problem.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/04/2011 22:57

Nope, keeps eating fucking pineapple n all. Think this months competition is to be the first to do 1000 miles in a month

100 miles is perfectly doable, even fatty me averages 12 milles per hour

Oh yes and what a bloody t shirt, he's gonna look like Daffyd if he wins the bugger, and hell yeah. I'll make him wear it, in public [cwink]

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 27/04/2011 23:00

Tell him he is overdoing it a bit and you feel neglected and that his responsibilities as a husband are suffering.

However, least he is not down the pub supping it and chatting up the barmaid, and is actually looking after himself instead of becomning a couch potato with a pot belly from booze.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/04/2011 23:05

He is neither husband or partner. He is a twat.

Don't think he's eating enough either, according to the tracky, calorie counter wotsit he burned 7000 calories today. He's only eaten a blueberry muffin, smoothie a ham bun and half a chuffin pineapple.

OP posts:
cyb · 27/04/2011 23:09

Dont hide bikes, or anything petty like that. Sit down with him and point out how unreasonable his behaviour is as a father, husband and part of the family. And try not to be snippy when you say it, otherwise it'll be all about HOW you're saying it rather than WHAT you are saying

Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/04/2011 23:10

Here's endomondo [http://www.endomondo.com/challenges/1081624] Think i'll reheat some mash and stir cheese in. He still isn't back [csad]

OP posts:
ChateauRouge · 27/04/2011 23:12

What's with the pineapple?

FreudianSlipOnACrown · 27/04/2011 23:16

Apart from the cycling, what's he like as a husband/father?

Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/04/2011 23:16

I don't bloody know. He'll be getting a pineapple shoved in the wrong end if he keeps this up tho

OP posts:
puffling · 27/04/2011 23:19

He sounds a bit Aspergersy. Is he?

blackeyedsusan · 27/04/2011 23:24

Shock what with the skin and spikey bit still on?

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 27/04/2011 23:26

Extra sharp spikey bit if the OP has any sense Wink

YANBU He needs to remember he has responsibilities and isn't a single man.

Original poster
ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 27/04/2011 23:28

We muddle through, up until a few months ago when this started very devoted, i'd go as far as to say he's better with the dcs than me. Always made time to take them to the beach, on long walks, train rides to nowhere etc. We'd swap them about, i'd take ds out on saturday to his thing which dd doesn't like and he'd take dd then sunday we'd swap so each child gets 1-1 . We'd go out together for a walk and stop off for an ice cream or some tea somewhere A few times a week in the hols we'd each take both out to give the other a break. I dunno, it's hard because family don't help out at all, except my Auntie will take dd so at first I didn't mind, he doesn't smoke, rarely goes out, doesn't really drink and cycling's always been his hobby and the only thing he spends money on.

We haven't ever been able to have an evening out together since dcs came along as nobody will have ds, I don't think we'd know what to say to each other anyways if that miracle ever occured.

But now i'm sad. And fed up of being alone with the kids all the time.

OP posts:
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