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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what time your children go to bed?

94 replies

SacreLao · 26/04/2011 13:47

I have 2 children, DS is 6 years old and has special needs, DD is 8 years old and a typical little girl.

They go to bed together at 7.30 pm and have done for a few years. At the weekend or in school holidays my DD will stay up a little later and go bed around 8.00pm sometimes 8.30pm. She gets about half an hour reading time in bed after this and then it's lights out. DS really needs his sleep so goes bed at the same time as always.

Anyway I thought this was a pretty reasonable time for their ages but DD had a friend sleep over at our home last night and when chatting to her mum she told me that her DD goes bed at 9pm on school nights and 10pm at weekends and holidays. This seems really late to me!

Anyway I allowed both my DD and friends DD to stay up until 10pm last night thinking that DD would have fallen asleep by then, was very surprised that not only did she stay awake until 10pm but that she woke up as normal with no problems at 8am this morning.

Am I sending her to bed too early?

What time do you send your 8/9 year old's to bed?

OP posts:

moosemama · 26/04/2011 14:21

My 7 year old ds goes to bed for 7.00 then has a story or some reading time with lights off at 7.30. His 9 year old brother has reading time from when his brother goes up (he's a book worm ) until 8.00 pm. There bedtimes remain the same for regardless of weekdays, weekends and holidays.

They both get up at 7.30 am - earlier on weekends.

LeroyJethroGibbs · 26/04/2011 14:22

This reply has been deleted

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susall · 26/04/2011 14:30

bonkers20 They get up an hour earlier/later thoes days and then go to bed at their normal time that night and wake up at their usual time. To be honest the only thing that makes a difference to sleeping patterns is sickness, they have been like this since they were 6 weeks for Ds1 and 10 and 12 weeks for Dd and Ds2.

BaronessVonEvenstar · 26/04/2011 14:36

I personally am not great of bedtimes.

DS1 used to be murder to get him to go to bed and more often than not he would be yelling at me that he wasn't tired, was hungry, thirsty, couldn't relax - you name it he had/said/ did it. I gave up on fighting him about a yr ago. Now at almost 13 he will go to his room at around 8.30-9pm. He is rarely asleep before 11-12pm but he is always up in time for school.

DS2 -3yrs will go to bed at 7.15 and fall asleep watching steptoe and son (Been the same forever) but he has just gone into his own room and sleeps much better. He is always up by 7.15-7.30am even if he goes to bed later.

bonkers20 · 26/04/2011 14:43

susall By that rational then it would be easy enough to adjust a child's waking up time from 6am to 7am.

stealingthunder · 26/04/2011 14:44

DS (12) goes to bed at 10pm. He only needs to be up at 8am to get to school on time (we walk), so he still gets plenty of sleep.

When he was in primary school, he used to go to bed around 9pm. I never sent him to bed earlier than 8.30 as we'd often do activities like Scouts or football after school. Some of them only finished at 8pm, so he'd have missed out on a lot if I sent him to bed so early.

susall · 26/04/2011 14:52

That is their natural waking time bonkers20 which in this house gives us a perfect amount of time to get up and ready for school/nursery.
We have tried later bed times to see if they would wake up later but they woke at the same time and all that happened was me being pulled up at nursery because they noticed a major change in both of the little ones behaviour then I spent the afternoon dealing with tantrums and fighting, so not worth it for a little longer in bed in the mornings.

Lucy88 · 26/04/2011 14:54

My DS is nearly 6 and he goes to bed at 7.30pm on a school night and 8pm on a weekend. He generally wakes between 6.45 and 8.30 depending whether it is weekend or a school day.

He definately needs 10-12 hours a night. If he doesn't it has an impact on his behaviour and also in school. If he is too tired, he doesn't want to do his homework and his concentration levels dip.

ginger55 · 26/04/2011 14:59

Both my twins are now eleven and they tell me what time to go to bed..

Rebecca41 · 26/04/2011 15:04

Ages 2 and 5, both in bed at 7pm. My 2 year old wakes the whole house at around 5.30am, so we need early nights. And yes, he wakes just as early (if not earlier) if he has a later night.

pingu2209 · 26/04/2011 15:13

On school nights my DS1 (age nearly 8) needs to go to bed at 7.30 at the very very latest. He normally falls asleep quite quickly. DS2 (age 5) and DD3 (age 3) go to bed at 7pm on school nights.

During the holidays (ie not just weekends) DS1 can stay up till 8.30, but a few nights of that will make him really 'sensitive' during the day.

diabolo · 26/04/2011 15:17

When my DS was 8 it was 7.30pm on a weeknight, 8pm on a weekend.

He is 11 now and bedtime is 8.30pm on a weeknight and 9pm at the weekend.

Some of his friends have ridiculous bedtimes and go up at 10pm, even later, or watch TV in their rooms until lord knows when. Their mothers seem to think I'm a bit odd.

Luckily I don't care.

oneofthosedays · 26/04/2011 15:20

DD (7) and DS (3.5) usually go up between about 7-8pm depending on how tired weareofthem-- they are. DS can be up and down the odd night until 9pm mithering for loo, drink, story etc but is usually asleep within 20 mins. DD will read for a bit but is usually asleep by 9pm at the absolute latest. Get up time is 6am in our house and DD can sometimes be up, dressed and downstairs before all of us. DS can be a bit crabby in a morning like me but comes round if left alone.

Weekends can be pretty much the same, we let them stay up if there's something they want to watch on TV, but if DD is tired she will just go up herself - no prompting whereas DS will start being naughty the more tired he gets. So probably no later than 9.30pm on average, 10-11pm if there's a do/family party or something.

colditz · 26/04/2011 15:21

Mine are 8 and 5, they go to bed between 7 and 8.30, depending on how tired they are.

OTTMummA · 26/04/2011 15:24

DS was going to bed whenever i went as i was a sahm and liked to sleep in

But as soon as i started work, and he started Nursery we just decided that if there was nothing stimulating him he would get bored.
We gave him a bath, massage, read him a few books, cuddles etc and slowly inbetween each stage turned off all the lights downstairs, the T.V off, no sounds etc.
It worked, not had one problem with it.
He even turns the lights off now himself and stands by the stairs if we aren't being quick enough lol.

minxofmancunia · 26/04/2011 15:45

dd 4 goes to bed 7.30-8.00pm in the week, anything up to 9pm holidays and weekends as she tends to do 11 hours from when she goes to sleep. I can't be doing with getting up or being woken up before 7am absolute earliest so that's why we veer towards 8pm.

ds is 19m he goes to bed at 7.30pm wakes up 7.30-8.00am and also has 2 hours in the afternoons.

I think we're fairly middle ground when it comes to bed times, not too draconian and not too lax, I think you have to make exceptions for holidays/parties/summerbbqs etc. It's horrible to insist on really rigid bedtime routine when everyone elses children are staying up enjoying themselves, you can be flexible without going crazy. also in summer particularly we want a life and it's lovely to have early evening dinner/drinks with friends rather than just being stuck at home from 6.30pm every day.

Equally though i have a friend with a 4 year old dd who lets her have a nap everyday between 5 and 7pm then stay up til 10.00-11.00pm so she'll sleep in because my friend is lazy and wants to lie in til 11.00am whenever she can. She has to physically drag her daughter out of bed every morning for school, that is shit parenting.

WereOffToSeeTheWizard · 26/04/2011 16:40

DS 2 goes to bed at 6, is asleep by 6.30 and wakes up at 7.30 am.

Wilfimina · 26/04/2011 16:53

I have a 5 year old DS and a 11 month old DD. This is going to sound odd but when DS was younger he went to bed later than he does now. He is a very active child and like my husband seems to need very little sleep. When we used to put him to bed at 7pm he was up at midnight wide awake and raring to go. Its only since he has been at school that we have managed to lower his bedtime to 7:30.

Baby goes to bed anytime from 6 till 7:30 as we wait for her to start rubbing her eyes.

My special needs sister who is 11 still goes to bed at 7pm.

flyingspaghettimonster · 26/04/2011 16:57

my 5 and 7 year old both go up at 9pm. Sometimes later on holidays if we have been out for the day. Any earlier and they just keep each other awake talking for hours, any later and they can't deal with school.

chelstonmum · 26/04/2011 17:05

DS (8) is in bed for 7.30-8pm. Lights out for 8.30pm on school nights, more flexible on school holidays etc.

DD (6) is harder to get to bed earlier than DS as she feels almost entitled to the same bedtime!

noodle69 · 26/04/2011 17:15

My daughter is 3 and she goes to bed about 6-6.30

tigercametotea · 26/04/2011 18:10

I start taking my younger DCs (aged 2 and 4) to bed at about 8 pm every day. Earlier if they seem very worn out/tired if they'd been very active/out and about that day. Then my oldest one (aged 8) at 9 pm (or 8.30 pm if its been a busy day for her). They generally wake up anytime between 7.30 and 8 am in the mornings.

tigercametotea · 26/04/2011 18:11

How much sleep do kids need? Info from NHS direct :

www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Childrenssleep/Pages/howmuchsleep.aspx

BaronessVonEvenstar · 26/04/2011 18:20

IMHO the amount of sleep a child needs depends upon the child themselves tbh.

NorthernGobshite · 26/04/2011 18:22

dd is 6, goes to bed between 7.30-8 on school night, anything up to 9ish during holidays. She wakes up between 7-8 most days whatever time she goes to bed - in fact the later the night, the earlier the morning - WHY?

She's always needed 12 hours ish and is unbearable when tired. Just like her father....

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