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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want one lie in a year - on my birthday??

90 replies

LadyWithNoManors · 25/04/2011 07:55

It's my birthday, as if being one year older isn't depressing enough I also had to get up with DC's at 7am as DP was snoring away.
I asked him last night if i could have a lie in and he said no as he had to go to work every day and I'm a SAHM. I get up earlier than him every day btw!
It not even as if I was talking of a mammoth session. My parents are coming at 10am so it would only have been until 8am.
Grrr what a dick!

OP posts:
cherryburton · 25/04/2011 18:36

"He has to go to work so you can stay at home. So does my DH and I am grateful everyday for him."

hahahaha....what, seriously?!

Anyway, YANBU OP - I demand one at least once a week.

And Happy Birthday!

FriedSpamButty · 25/04/2011 18:58

I'd have got up and started hoovering. Around the bed! But then again DP wouldn't have dared pull that shit.

Going out to work is a damn sight easier than being a SAHP. I used to make him take the odd day off and look after DS so I could go out with my Mum or my mates. Every bloke should have to spend at least one full day on their own coping with a baby and trying to keep the house clean, jobs done and cook a meal for when their other half gets home. Makes them realise it's not just hours of drinking coffee and watching Loose Women.

supergreenuk · 26/04/2011 07:34

I've been thinking about what some of you have said about equal lay ins etc as I have the same agreement as OP and I was wondering if I have it wrong. DH will allow me a lay in any time I like though. The way I see it is that it is important I am aiding him to have plenty of sleep as if he doesn't he won't be able to concentrate at work and work will be effected. It is our only income so we have to ensure it is not put at risk. Let's face it if we are tired we can choose to have a low key day. We can put them infront of the tv and slob on the sofa. I do stand by my original post that yanbu to want a lay in on your birthday. I would expect equal lay ins during holidays etc.

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/04/2011 08:07

I am aiding my DH to have ample sleep by doing all the night wakings. He gives me both the weekend lies in. Since when is paid work more important than what I do?

Bubbaluv · 26/04/2011 08:25

"He has to go to work so you can stay at home."

...and she stays at home so he can go to work. It's called a partnership.

cory · 26/04/2011 08:33

What's wrong with these whimpish men who won't be able to do a day's work if they have to get up early at the weekend once in a while? How do they think working mothers cope?

Oh of course, I forgot, women just don't have these really important jobs where you have to concentrate; they just boil the kettle and look fluffy.

Dozer · 26/04/2011 08:39

Supergreen, unless your dh is a surgeon, working nights or maybe in a new job on promotion, he should be able to function easily at work when tired, even if he works long hours.

Ime it is easy to do a senior office-based job when tired, you go into autopilot, can also forget about tiredness by burying self in work, get coffee etc. And is it really likely that tiredness alone would, in most cases, lead to poor performance and dismissal/redundancy?

The health of the stay-at-home parent is as important as that of the wage-earner. Also, if you are tired you could make a mistake that leads to an accident at home or when out and about with the dcs. This has happened to me - near-misses when crossing roads with dd1, falls, hoover falling down stairs, spilled boiling water.

A good test is to look at yourself in the mirror and look at him, and think about how fit and well you each are. If you look great and he looks shattered and keeps getting sick, or is overweight or skinny, maybe it's right to let him lie-in more, but if not then you need to hog that duvet!

DialsMavis · 26/04/2011 13:52

Although I as shocked at the OP's DH I rarely actually get Lay ins at the moment. My DP works away a lot, or gets in from work at 4am (hideous commute and odd shifts) or leaves at 7.30 am. On the odd occasion he is home for a couple of days we grab one each. I always have to get up first anyway as the selfish bastard is STILL refusing to lactate...

DialsMavis · 26/04/2011 13:53

*was

NinkyNonker · 26/04/2011 14:11

I need to train my 8 mo old to be able to entertain herself safely and quietly all day I think so I can have a chill on the sofa.

I do night wakings with dd, and take responsibility for her and the house while DH is at work. I do majority of routine cleaning/tidying/shopping/cooking because I am here and it makes sense. From the moment he gets home he takes 50/50 responsibility. We alternate seeing to dd if she wakes, one does bath while other starts dinner, I put her to bed while he finishes dinner etc etc. If he needs to work in eve I will see to dd etc etc. That's just life.

We share lie ins at weekends, if anything I get more as if I have had a really unsettled night with dd he'll grab her in the morning with no discussion.

I am grateful to him for working had and earning money. He is grateful to me for looking after his dd so well (his words) and enabling him to earn money.

IsThereAnyNicknameNotInUse · 27/04/2011 12:25

I don't know why you are all attacking LoveACuppa

The OP's husband goes out to work to allow her the privilege of staying home with the children. That must be quite hard for him having to be the breadwinner - all that pressure and so on.

If anything she should be getting up to give him breakfast and a lie in to tell him how grateful she is for him letting her be a SAHM. A lot of men would insist on putting their children into a private nursery.

Consider yourself lucky OP. You have a good man there.

SardineQueen · 27/04/2011 12:43

Your DH goes to work every day?

That is illegal. Unless he is self employed?

Assuming he actually works 5 or 6 days a week, YANBU at all and he is being a tossbag of the first order.

SardineQueen · 27/04/2011 12:46

Very funny IsThereAnyNickname Grin

Posts like that are very hard to get right, your tone is spot on, excellent Grin I like the way you have managed to slip so many cliches in there - just brilliant!

PlopPlopPing · 27/04/2011 13:05

Wow! Why do you put up with it?!

IsThereAnyNicknameNotInUse · 27/04/2011 14:40

just reread my post. I wasnt actully being sarcastic. I mean it. She is lucky and ungreatful.

LittleOneMum · 27/04/2011 14:48

isthereanynickname bless you, a double bluff! You are SO funny! Spot on ... I almost thought for a minute that a 1950s houswife had come on!

LittleOneMum · 27/04/2011 14:49

and I'd love to know what your home situation is!

marylou242 · 27/04/2011 14:56

No, that's not fair. You should both have a lie in on one weekend day every week. That's what we do and also what a lot of our friends do. He should start sharing them. Has he had a few days at home with your DCs on his own? Maybe after that he would change his mind about you having an easy life?

IsThereAnyNicknameNotInUse · 27/04/2011 15:05

littleonemum My DH goes out to work. He leaves at 7 and gets home at 7.

I stay at home - cook, clean and look after the children and dog. I always have his dinner ready for him coming home. As a wife and mother, it is my duty. My job description if you will.

In return he puts a roof over our head, food on our plate and love in our home

PlopPlopPing · 27/04/2011 16:02

IsThereAnyNicknameNotInUse Shock

RunAwayWife · 27/04/2011 16:04

If he lets you have a sleep in this year you might want one every year Grin

Insomnia11 · 27/04/2011 16:13

Even if I was a SAHM I would demand one lie-in a week, which is what we both have now. On my Friday at home with the kids I often go to bed just after them at 8.30pm and sleep until 7am on Saturday morning, then after DH has got up with them stay in bed until 9.30am listening to the radio or reading - or sleeping some more even - and get breakfast in bed.

I need my lie-ins, one of the things that stops me going insane keeps me in good mental and physical shape - especially if I have had a bout of insomnia or child-related sleeplessness. DH gets the same on a Sunday.

PlopPlopPing · 27/04/2011 16:15

IsThereAnyNicknameNotInUse Still in Shock

LaWeasel · 27/04/2011 16:18

Feeling quite grateful for my 40min birthday lie in today!

Actually my DH is lovely, and supervises DD before he goes to work most mornings - it's only about half an hour, but he knows I sleep very badly and appreciate it.

IsThereAnyNicknameNotInUse · 27/04/2011 17:40

Plop Why are you shocked?