To want another child but not ....

[firsttimemum77]

I'm 33 with one DC who will be 4 this year. Due to having grown up with parents who had it all one minute and in dire financial problems the next and spending my late teens trying to help them sort their problems (have 3 brothers but they never bothered) I am now a very controlling, I would say, individual when it comes to money, savings and taking no risks. I would hate to have to struggle iykwim.

We are quite okay and our joint income is around £70k. We don't live near any family, so rely 100% on a private day nursery and our DC will be going to private school - solely because they offer after school care on premises and holiday clubs during school holidays, also on premises. Neither me or DH can go p/t as our jobs don't allow it.

So aibu to really want another child but not want to risk 'struggling' if that makes sense. I am so up in the air about this. I want another child, I want to be able to give my DC a sibling and complete my family, but am shit scared of the financial implications I.e one child at private school, the other at private nursery and eventually both at private schools.

We have a really small mortgage ATM but are looking to move, as the area we live in is not so nice. We bought our house when we got married 13 years ago and didn't think about the area, schools or even having children when we bought it. Just wanted to get away from the il's (another story!!) and bought literally the first house we saw! So mortgage likely to go up when we move due to house prices 13 years on!

I would really appreciate some honest views. Am I just being over cautious! Thinking about too many what ifs???

Urrgghh! I don't know what I'm trying to ask! I also had a really difficult pregnancy, birth and PND which was contributed by the fact I had no family around to help. My parents are great but live a distance and also both work and I don't expect them to help!

Do I just need to be slapped into reality!?

To not toy!
Sorry using iPhone so there will be a few mistakes!

On balance I think you should go for having a second DC.
I think it's lovely for your DC's to have a sibling, and makes for more of a family feeling !
All the other unknowns and variables can be juggled when you get there. Cross that bridge ... and all that ...
As you say yourself ( though I'm quite a planner myself) it is possible to over-think things.
Sometimes it's good to go with your heart.
And you've got plenty to juggle with, as several have mentioned there are other good schools which you don't have to pay for.

Ishani must live somewhere incredibly cheap or not have rent/mortgage to pay. On 2/3rds of your income, unless you had saved all of the money needed beforehand, there's no way you could afford a terraced 3bdrm house and private schooling for 1, let alone 3. (I'm in the SE of England).

I can see why with your dyou would be worried about money, but you do sound quite financially secure.

I would go for the local school & wrap around childcare options myself. For several reasons - the local school will be fairly cheap by comparison free so if you do ever have any major money worries you can deal with it without having to pull the kids out of school. Other childcare may cost you a similar amount to the nursery fees, but not to that of the fees as they get older. The 'additional extras' are bad enough in the state schools, private schools are ridiculous! Separate childcare gives you other more flexible options. Lots of reasons really.

Let us know how the 'going for it goes' [bugrin]

You are so luck, to have a mortgage of £330 pcm ours is over £2K for a bog standard 3 bedroom house in London.

I would have another child if my mortgage was £330 pcm.

Good luck!