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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have not let this man in my car?

70 replies

loolooskiptotheloo · 24/04/2011 09:14

we were going to a BBQ yesterday, i was driving with my DD and had offered a friend a lift too, she mentioned that there was another girl from her work attending and could she jump in the car, this was no problem and i arranged a time to pick them both up.

When i got there the friend from work had brought her boyfriend with her "sorry i only have 2 seatbelts in the back so i can't fit you both in" i said, cue lots of moaning and general bad attitude of "ohh it's only down the road, go on, no one will stop you" i put my foot down and said i wouldn't take him so they stropped off and ended up not going, she then updated her fb status to " missed out on a bbq today cuz our lift let us down, stuck up cow"

would you have just let him in the car?

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 24/04/2011 09:17

I would have given him a lift.

Geepers · 24/04/2011 09:19

Of course I'd have just let him in the car.

kiwimumof2boys · 24/04/2011 09:19

No YANBU ! how rude - and the FB thing was just pathetic. How old is she (girl with b/f) ? 16 ?
What did your friend say ? i hope she was embarrassed/apologetic.

I definitely wouldn't have let them in my car - was out driving before and cops were everywhere - given it was Easter Sunday too.

Reality · 24/04/2011 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

southeastastra · 24/04/2011 09:20

so they wanted to get three people in the back but you only had two working seatbelts? what's wrong with the other one?

it's was a bit rude of her but after the facebook comment i would think 'sod em'

ajandjjmum · 24/04/2011 09:23

Would it be terribly childish to comment 'the stuck up cow would have been the one with her licence taken off her, had she been caught with an illegal number of people in her car'.

HellonHeels · 24/04/2011 09:23

It is the driver's responsibility to ensure that children under 14 are using seat belts etc. Over 14 it's the passenger's responsibility. Normal penalty: £30 fixed penalty but can go up to hundreds, depending...

Could you actually fit all those people in the car though? My little car could only hold 4 adults and a child seat max.

changingmynameagain · 24/04/2011 09:24

How far away was it?

I'm assuming your car is small and actually only takes 4 people?

I would have refused to take them in that situation (and have done so in the past) but would have probably done 2 runs.

I have, however, in the past, fitted an extra (teenage and very silly) child in the car in a situation where I felt they were in danger if I left. Shortest child was given instructions to duck if they saw a police car

SummerRain · 24/04/2011 09:25

It would have been him who got the ticket if you'd been stopped, not you (assuming he's over 17)

At least that's the law over here and we're usually pretty similar on traffic laws.

Original poster

loolooskiptotheloo · 24/04/2011 09:25

it's a sporty model so there are only 2 seatbelts in the back, it's about 15mins drive and they aren't my friends (just going to the same place so wanted a lift) so wasn't going to do 2 trips with my DD either in the car for 45 mins or left with people at a bbq. i just assumed it was illegal, if not i probably was BU

OP posts:

kaj32 · 24/04/2011 09:27

YWNU. There is no way I'd have done that. Apart from the fact you'd be responsible if you were stopped by police or had an accident you didn't agree to give him a lift. They were rude to presume. If anyone asks yo make sure you point that out.

southeastastra · 24/04/2011 09:29

i wouldn't worry about it then, why couldn't they get a cab instead? i hate being the local taxi service myself.

changingmynameagain · 24/04/2011 09:29

If it was only 15 minutes they could've got a taxi.

And they should have checked how many other people you were giving a lift to.

As my Gran would have said "When you assume you make an ass out of u and me"

In this case just them though.

boilanegg · 24/04/2011 09:30

I probably would have done it but I am a pushover and would not have been happy about it. I would never expect someone to let me come in their car if there wasn't a belt for me, it's wrong to put someone on the spot like that.

I agree about doing two runs. But considering she was the one who arrived with an unarranged extra person and then had the audacity to bitch about it on Facebook, I bet you're glad you didn't take them in the car. I'd be tempted to comment saying "Sorry you missed the BBQ - if only I'd known you were bringing more people than I had space for in the car I'd have helped you sort out other transport" and then sit back polishing my halo.

VivaLeBeaver · 24/04/2011 09:32

No I wouldn't have done it as like you I thought it was illegal.

I'd also be tempted to put something on her FB wall about her been an immature bitch.

springydaffs · 24/04/2011 09:32

Aside from the fact that if you had had a head-on collision/emergency stop, your seatbeltless passenger would have broken your neck as s/he lunged forward, the weight of a small elephant.

Sheesh, the rules aren't for nothing! YWDNBU

Lucyinthepie · 24/04/2011 09:32

You weren't a lift that let them down. You didn't offer him a lift. In the short distance you had to travel, had there been an accident, we've all seen the adverts and know what his body and head could do to other occupants of the car.
Facebook is a complete pain, I don't go there. It's full of tossers trying to make pathetic points to upset people.

Original poster

loolooskiptotheloo · 24/04/2011 09:32

i might just put a local taxi number as a comment!

OP posts:

littleducks · 24/04/2011 09:33

Honestly, I might have just given him a lift...depends on the drive etc.

But with all the legal stuff ignored, isnt the danger of an unrestrained passenger more the damage they could do to everyone else in case of an accident....flying forward and injuring/killingdriver etc?

So they were def being unreasonable to make a fuss that you put yoor/your dds safety first

southeastastra · 24/04/2011 09:35

they were wrong to presume you'd just 'fit him in' forget and don't let it ruin a nice easter

also don't go on facebook, be the bigger person.

FancyALittle · 24/04/2011 09:36

Pathetic of her not to go under her own steam. How was she intending to get to the BBQ in the first place?

Original poster

loolooskiptotheloo · 24/04/2011 09:37

whispers - it's all bravado - i would never reply on her fb, too much of a wimp!

OP posts:

changingmynameagain · 24/04/2011 09:37

FancyALittle - that's a good point. If you hadn't been going OP, how would they have got there?

The situation I had was a few years ago and it has bothered me ever since for lots of reasons. Wish I'd been on MN then

Original poster

loolooskiptotheloo · 24/04/2011 09:41

no idea how they would've got there if i wasn't going - ps as an aside they had no drinks with them, how rude to go to a BBQ with no food/drink!

OP posts:

changingmynameagain · 24/04/2011 09:42

Rude freeloaders!

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