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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have not let this man in my car?

70 replies

loolooskiptotheloo · 24/04/2011 09:14

we were going to a BBQ yesterday, i was driving with my DD and had offered a friend a lift too, she mentioned that there was another girl from her work attending and could she jump in the car, this was no problem and i arranged a time to pick them both up.

When i got there the friend from work had brought her boyfriend with her "sorry i only have 2 seatbelts in the back so i can't fit you both in" i said, cue lots of moaning and general bad attitude of "ohh it's only down the road, go on, no one will stop you" i put my foot down and said i wouldn't take him so they stropped off and ended up not going, she then updated her fb status to " missed out on a bbq today cuz our lift let us down, stuck up cow"

would you have just let him in the car?

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 24/04/2011 09:46

NO, YANBU! They didn't make clear how many people would want a lift, and you're right, why should you risk getting pulled over? The Facebook thing is pathetic and childish. She's not worth worrying about.

JaxTellersOldLady · 24/04/2011 09:46

So, you had been asked to pick up your friend and an acquaintance of hers, along with you and DD which makes 4? Friend of friend then turns up with BF - without checking if there was space or it was OK with you? She assumed, was rude and put you in a position. Actually she seems a cheeky cow!

I have 4 seats in one of our cars and wouldnt have given a lift either.

YANBU.

mycatoscar · 24/04/2011 09:49

YANBU to say no

I always insist everyone in my car puts their seatbelts on and I get funny looks about that especially from my mother!

I would be tempted to put something straight to the point on facebook.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 24/04/2011 09:50

To all those who would have let him in....people like you can cause seruous accidents...a man flying through a windowscreen is not a pretty sight and he culd have killed the person in front of him.

YANB OP YANBU at all!

As for her FB status...."our lift" let us down! As though it were a regular occurence! Cheeky mare.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 24/04/2011 09:51

My MIL will try and sit in the car with no belt on...with my kids present. It's a wankers trick imo

changingmynameagain · 24/04/2011 09:53

Looloo - you have inspired me to start a thread about what I did Grin

GandTiceandaslice · 24/04/2011 09:58

No no, you were right!
I am so paranoid about seatbelts. Imagine if you'd been in an accident. He'd have been flung forwards & maimed/killed. And the front passenger would be seriosuly hurt by him as well.
What an utter cock to put that on his FB as well.

Morloth · 24/04/2011 10:06

YANBU, no seatbelt, no ride.

Have they not heard of cabs?

beesimo · 24/04/2011 10:11

You were perfectly right OP your insurance would of been invalid if you'd had a accident and if the coppers had stopped you there would of been a spot fine to pay.

Ignore gammy remarks on FB she has made her self look a right 'billy no mates' if the only person who could give her a lift was you pathetic!!

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 24/04/2011 10:15

YANBU How rude and presumptuous of them to assume you would give him a lift without asking in the first place.

penguin73 · 24/04/2011 10:19

YANBU -if nothing else you have set a good example to your DD who will be driving/a car passenger with friends and probably faced with similar decisions herself one day.
I would be tempted to post something scathing on her FB about having the common decency not to endanger her/her BF's life but then I'm having a bad day, do what the more rational people have suggested and ignore her!

penguin73 · 24/04/2011 10:25

btw the general rule is that you should only carry the amount of passengers that your car has seats with seatbelts for (the thing about not having to have seatbelts generally applies to older cars that don't have them fitted) so he would not be done for not wearing a seatbelt as there wasn't one but you could be done for overcrowding and would probably not be covered insurance wise if there was an accident.

MollieO · 24/04/2011 10:57

I wouldn't have allowed someone in the back of my car without a seatbelt. Not bothered about the fine but, perhaps weirdly to some here who thought it would be ok, I'd worry about dying. In an accident an unrestrained rear seat passenger could be propelled forward hitting front seat passengers. Surely you must have seen that awful information advert?

MollieO · 24/04/2011 10:58

I would also post a response on fb to her ignorant comment.

Lulumama · 24/04/2011 11:01

YANBU
you didn't let her down, she made an assumption

sense of entitlement ,much?
if she was that bothered, they could have got a cab or walked !

rude.

i\d defriend her

belgo · 24/04/2011 11:05

Judging by her rude comment on FB, you were absolutely right not to take them. Agree with lulumama about defriending her. Even better, just deregister fron FB.

fedupofnamechanging · 24/04/2011 11:14

I would post a comment about how dangerous it is for the driver/other passengers in the event of an accident, how it would invalidate your insurance and I would ask on fb why you would risk all that for a person who just assumed her bf could have a lift and didn't actually ask. I'd also point out that i am not a taxi service.

You can't let people get away with treating you like shit and making nasty remarks, especially when those remarks are public. Stick up for yourself OP. You are in the right.

TiggyD · 24/04/2011 11:19

YANBU

They were wrong to expect you to break the law for them. Not the sort of people you want to mix with darlink!

TidyDancer · 24/04/2011 11:21

YANBU. I think you should probably rise above it and not comment on FB, but I'd be tempted to reply anyway! Something along the lines of "stuck up cow here, who didn't want to cram an extra person in her car without a seatbelt, especially one who turned up to try to cadge a lift without asking beforehand". Cheeky fuckers.

TidyDancer · 24/04/2011 11:22

If you share friends in common on FB, I would make that your status rather than a comment on hers, so she can't remove it.

ihatecbeebies · 24/04/2011 11:35

I wouldn't have taken him either, you were't unreasonable your car your rules, you don't know him and hadn't previously agreed on taking him either, you were doing your friend a favour so they should have been thankful that you were going to take the two women in the first place. I am really paranoid about not wearing seatbelts too and hate being in a car with someone who isn't wearing one and usually ask them to put one on if there is one even though I'm not the driver.

My DP isn't that bothered about passengers not wearing one as it is them that will get fined (I think?) but one of the seatbelts in the back of his car doesn't work and he wont let someone sit there because he is worried about his insurance or getting stopped and having too many passengers than he is able to take.

I agree that just ignoring her on fb would be the best option but personally I wouldn't be able to stop myself from saying something back to her!

GitAwfMayLend · 24/04/2011 11:36

She sounds like a wanker.

She assumed her boyfriend could just get it. Lazy sod should have walked.

YANBU - I tell everyone to belt up as well.

WHY are people so immature re facebook?

penguin73 · 24/04/2011 11:39

For me the horror of having to live with the consequences of someone being seriously injured/dying in a car I was driving because they didn't have a seat belt on is enough of a deterrent to insist my passengers always do even though I know I wouldn't be held legally responsible.

TrillianAstra · 24/04/2011 11:39

You didn't let her down, as there was no arrangement that you would give her a lift.

Did the first friend know beforehand that this girl was expecting you to give her and boyfriend a lift?

discobeaver · 24/04/2011 11:40

I couldn't resist replying to the FB comment either, although I know it's immature.

Something like "the 'rude bastards' alarm on your car wouldn't allow you to open the doors to them. Also the piss stains on the bloke's trousers made you a little concerned, and your daughter was starting to retch with the stink of them.

Or something verrrry dignified like that.