Horrific rudeness that fell out of my mouth today

[hobbgoblin]

I don't know what I was thinking but the depths of my brain verbalised themselves into the following rhetorical question when faced with fat lady without kids parking her sports car in the P&child spaces:

"oh are these spaces for the fat people now then?"

And she heard, and she went to move her car but then didn't because I drove off as quickly as the awareness sunk in that I had actually said what the nasty part of my brain was thinking.

You were fat, lady... and parked obnoxiously. I, however, did not mean to unnecessarily and hurtfully link these two facts in an insult.

I had to explain what a rude moron I had just been to the eldest DC too.

Telling you all in AIBU is my self served punishment.

I am fat and on a diet and also a hypocrite.

[blackeyedsusan]

you need putting in the stocks and have rotten tomatoes thrown at you...



damn, can only find half melted chocolate eggs I have just put in..



don't eat too much mind.. diets and all that [buwink]

[WineComesInAtTheMouth]

Ah Moondog, I quite agree with you. However, I did stop at a couple of spoons.

I walk my dogs for an average of 3 to 4 hours a day. Up hills and down dales. Unfortunately I still suffer from terrible fluid retention in my legs which makes them look huge. Huge thighs and lower legs same width from knee to ankle. From the waist up I am a totally different person. Dieting has not made a difference to this hence I do allow myself the odd treat now and again. Especially if someone comments in the street how fat I am, assuming I overeat and am lazy. i do not have a DP to hug it all better.

Sadly some of us are just made this way.

[NoelEdmondshair]

Really nasty, OP.

I'm going to make a point of parking in P&C places when I don't have DD with me.

[A1980]

That was an awful thing to say and I'm glad you know that.

There's also a difficulty today for people to mind their own business. No one does anymore. It was for the store to tell her she's not to park there, not you.

Perhaps she really didn't notice they were P&C spaces. P&C spaces are a joke anyway. I've seen people with secondary school age children using them!

[CJ2010]

I'm pregnant and feeling very unwell plus I have a DD who is 1 yr old. I'm fed up of people without kids pinching those spaces. It's so handy to have the wider parking space as It means I dont have to get DD out of the car with the car door only a teeny bit open incase of bashing the car nxt to me!

Parents need those spaces!!

Well done, bet she wont do it again.

[A1980]

"Well done, bet she wont do it again."

I can only imagine the manners you display in front of your DD then if you condone calling someone fat in public who has hardly commited a crime!

Precious parents and their car spaces!!!! You'd think she had committed murder.

[CJ2010]

A1980 - We are not 'precious parents' to require a larger parking space. Travelling with DC's and prams/ buggies etc it is essential. Do you think that disabled people who require a disabled parking space are 'precious' as well?

I think you should take that very large chip off of your shoulder.

[ragged]

"I am fat and on a diet and also a hypocrite"
PMSL. U should have slipped this out as a side comment on Chat, not in AIBU.
There are days when all of us have feet magnetically attracted to mouth, don't need to beat yourself up for it.

[otchayaniye]

Maybe she thought P&C parking stood for Portly & Chubby

[otchayaniye]

"Travelling with DC's and prams/ buggies etc it is essential."

Prams are not essential. I have never had one. Plus why do you need one to go around a supermarket?

A wheelchair, however, is.

Some people have a strange idea about what is 'essential'.

[Rosieeo]

"Bit of a jump from discrimination and prejudice to calling someone fat.

Ridiculous to compare them to each other."

Using something about a person's appearance in order to hurt them? "You fat cunt" v "you black bastard"? Where's the difference?

However, as many replies on this thread have proven, people who are overweight appear to be the last group it is acceptable to take the piss out of.

[RevoltingPeasant]

Oh OP, we have all said terrible things. I think this will haunt you just as long as it does her.

A few years back a woman joined our running club and mentioned that she had just had a baby. I was trying to come up with a jokey comment that basically indicated 'well done for getting into running so soon after birth, must be hard', but what actually came out was

'Trying to run it off, are you?'



I was too embarrassed even to apologise and still can't look her in the eye . Sometimes stuff just comes out of your mouth.

I agree with the PP who said do random acts of kindness to strangers. I try to do this anyway and figure it all comes out in the wash.

Chill out and have a .

[AgentZigzag]

It's not acceptable rosieeo because fat people haven't been discriminated against/imprisoned/killed/treated as second class citizens for hundreds of years because of the colour of the skin they were born into.

Calling someone a fat cunt is an offensive term in itself for a lot of reasons, but it devalues the experience of real discrimination on the basis of someones skin colour to say they are similar.

[Rosieeo]

As another poster said earlier, the OP's insult was based on observation. Finding something that a person may be sensitive about in order to wound them.

Do you really feel that "fat people" aren't discriminated against? Or is that okay, because it's their own fault? Yeah, abuse every fatty you see, might encourage 'em to lay off the doughnut, eh?

The acceptance of such casual cruelty towards another person astounds me.

[AgentZigzag]

If you read back my posts rosieeo you'll see that although I understand that some things can slip out when you don't mean them too, I find it abhorrent to call anyone fat as an insult.

I do not accept cruelty towards another person casually at all and resent the implication.

I've never commented on anyones weight on here or in RL, so I'm not sure where you get the idea that I 'abuse every fatty' person I see?

But to compare calling someone fat to institutionalised racism is ridiculous in the extreme.

The two are poles apart.

[Mrswhiskerson]

I think you are normally a very nice person otherwise you wouldn't feel so bad ,

we all say things we regret when we are angry about something else.

I once very loudly slagged of a theatre performance I had been taken too. Thinking I had went with a firend. I really let rip and I said I didn't even want to go in the first place
my mil said
I took you there
inearly died and wished to have the ground open up and swallow me,
the thing is it wasn't even true I really did want to go and I did have a nice time but I was extemely stressed out and facing homelessnes a couple of glasses of wine and the full force of my stress came out

[Shoesytwoesy]

imo this thread makes me think that p&c parking is a bad thing if you can be so nasty about sucha minor thing

[Rosieeo]

I made no mention of institutionalised racism; I talked about abuse based on physical appearance. It's not longer acceptable, thank goodness, to insult the colour of a person's skin, but it's still a free-for-all if they're overweight or have some other physical trait that is not appealing to the abuser's discerning eye.

However, when I typed 'you' I didn't actually mean you as an individual. Just carried away by my own rhetoric. Obvious I have no idea whether or not you accept this kind of unpleasantness; you have said that you don't and so I apologise for the implication.

[Mrswhiskerson]

If it helps I think it is good for things like this to happen sometime, you think more about peoples feel gs after that and hopefully your situation will get better,

have some time to yourself you sound like you need a break.

[Mrswhiskerson]

a1980 maybe you should re read the op first post,
you know the bit where she says she explained to her dc how her actions were wrong and has said how bad she feels before you rip Into her otherwise you just look silly.