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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder about obesity

379 replies

crashingwaves · 23/04/2011 23:02

Please, please, PLEASE don't think that this is a fat-bashing thread, I hate it when people do that and I'd never ever do it myself.

The thing is, I love food, I do like nice food and I do overeat on occasions. My BMI is 'overweight' - I could do with shifting a stone - I'm most definitely not a size 8 smuggie person.

What I'm wondering about isn't even people a fair bit bigger than me. But really, really large people (I'm thinking around the 20 stone + region) Isn't it quite, well, difficult in a way to maintain and gain weight at that size, as you really would have to be eating an awful lot (unless a medical reason, I realise things like PCOS can contribute.)

I suppose I was wondering as my friend has a friend who is only 21 and weighs 18 and a half stone - to be honest I think she is in denial a little bit as she says things like "Oh I know I don't look this big" when to be honest she does - I understand that - but given that at that size it is fairly easy to make small changes and still lose weight, I guess I just wonder why people don't. That did sound quite bitchy and judgemental and I'm honestly trying hard to avoid that.

I can totally see how people get big, I've "been there" myself but I guess what I mean was when the scales hit 13 stone I thought "f*ck!" and went on a diet - surely if the scales hit 20 stone you would ...?

I probably deserve a flaming - can I just say mega apologies if I DO offend you as I honestly don't want to do that!

OP posts:
Alambil · 23/04/2011 23:36

I'll shoot you if you shoot me, mamazon!

worraliberty · 23/04/2011 23:36

I know as well that a few years back the general 'diet advice' was to throw away the scales and stop weighing yourself.

Well I really do disagree with that because if you wear loose fitting clothes, or stretchy clothes like leggings for example, it really is easy to gain a stone or two without even realising.

I know I'm putting on weight when my jeans are too tight or when I have to change the notch on my belt buckle because my face is turning blue lol!

MaisyMooCow · 23/04/2011 23:36

Thin people imo are pretty aware of what they eat and usually deny themselves

I disagree, this doesn't apply to everyone. I have always been thin, probably a high metabolism. I have been lucky enough to eat what I like when I like and not put on an ounce of weight. I love food and because of that I know how difficult it must be for someone to diet. If someone told me I couldn't continue to eat what I do I would really struggle. Willpower is not my strong point!

RainbowPatooties · 23/04/2011 23:36

i am a 16 - i dont see myself as fat now.
but i used to be a 22 and i could wipe my arse properly ta very much.

its easy to put the weight on. scarily so.
much harder than you think to get it all back off again.

i dont eat that much as it goes. the weight gain just happened gradually

FabbyChic · 23/04/2011 23:37

I buy proper meals for my son. Im a real fussy eater. But Im happy with what I eat.

It's not enough no, but Im never hungry.

Saltatrix · 23/04/2011 23:38

To lose weight is always the same what you need is:

Motivation
Consistency
Healthy food OR smaller portions of food (eating lots because its better doesn't help)
Exercise

Those 4 key things and you will lose weight in a healthy way, I am not a fan of crash diets.

hmc · 23/04/2011 23:40

The weight looks good on you though Mamazon - you've been told by many posters that you are ravishing, and you are. Dawn French also looks lush despite her weight as does Ruth Jones. Most people however don't carry weight well and sadly society judges us on our appearance (I wish that it were not so, but it is!). I looked awful obese (big doughy face and eyes like raisins)- am no pin up now, but people definitely respond better to me now and treat me with more respect and courtesy now that I am average sized and unremarkable rather than clinically obese. So I think on balance it is worth checking those calories and eating lettuce leaves - as you put it!

worraliberty · 23/04/2011 23:40

The thing is, if you keep yourself thin/lean you don't actually have to deny yourself anything...unless you really want unhealthy and fattening food every single day.

Concordia · 23/04/2011 23:42

it's easy to put weight on gradually, a pound or two a month, a stone a year. suddenly you're 5 stone overweight. or more.
when you're tired and busy and poor it's easy to eat rubbish just to keep going.
when you're down or stressed it's easy to eat a whole giant bar of chocolate, just to feel better, or four pieces of toast.
if you have toddlers adn no childcare, it's very hard to exercise as walking at their pace is frankly not worth it.

Deuce · 23/04/2011 23:43

To lose weight you need to move more, an eat slightly less.

You can not be fat by eating as little as your size 12 friends, unless you have a medical condition.

And very few have a medical condition. Stop making excuses as you reach for food having had your dinner.

worraliberty · 23/04/2011 23:43

Oh no I absolutely have to disagree about Dawn French. She's got a very pretty face and nice hair but she (on Graham Norton last month) really looked morbidly obese.

She was dressed in her usual black baggy clothes, but if she were stood there in the nude I'm sure you might think differently hmc

hmc · 23/04/2011 23:43

Also my chronic back problem seems to have resolved now I am not carrying all that extra weight

KurriKurri · 23/04/2011 23:43

fabbychic you do talk nonsense sometimes.

'There is no excuse for being fat other than over eating' - not strictly true, its probably the most common reason for getting overweight, but its not the only one.

If you couldn't wipe your arse at a size sixteen, you can't have been trying very hard - that's ridiculous.

NettoSuperstar · 23/04/2011 23:43

I'm thin, I don't deny myself.

I eat every food I want to.

I eat takeaway, I eat cheese, I eat chocolate and cake, I only buy full fat milk.

The secret is.............portion size, that's it.
No big secret.

Small portions of the fattening stuff, with lots of veg on the side, fruit for afters, and that's it.

hmc · 23/04/2011 23:44

Well tis true - I didn't actually go as far as undressing her in my mind Grin

worraliberty · 23/04/2011 23:46

Oh perhaps that's just me then hmc Blush

NettoSuperstar · 23/04/2011 23:46

I meant that's how you can eat good stuff and be thin, not that people should.

I was answering the post that said thin people deny themselves.

nikki1978 · 23/04/2011 23:46

No offence mamazon but if that is your typical diet no way would you be 22 stone. The biggest I have been is 14 stone and I was eating a good 3000 cals a day for some time to get to that size. To stay at 14 stone I could have eaten 2500 cals a day - and I am short. Exercise helps lose weight but lack of activity doesn't affect weight that much.

Deuce · 23/04/2011 23:46

And can we please concentrate on what really matters, what the inside of you looks like.

Yes you can look like a ravishing Nigella type, but think of your heart trying to pump through all that mass, and your lungs trying to keep up too.

Stop being so smug and saying 'oh I am fine with my weight, you skinny Minnie's deny yourselves'.

Think long term.

hmc · 23/04/2011 23:47

On the thin and denying yourself - I don't disagree that there are (a distinct minority) a few naturally thin people blessed with a high metabolism....however, if I think of the slim school mums at coffee mornings - n'er does a cake or biscuit ever cross their lips. I've watched them (sounding sinister now)

mamaz0n · 23/04/2011 23:49

I think that smug would be better attributed to those patronising posts advising us poor unfortunate greedy bastards on how to become normal

MaisyMooCow · 23/04/2011 23:49

MamaZon well im a big fatty. i weigh about 22 stone - if not more- wear size 24 clothes and if i walk into a bar with my skinny minny friends im still the one that gets the most attention from the men.

I'm not suprised MamaZon. Just checked out your profile pic after what hmc said. You're very glamorous, it's no wonder the guys check you out.
Envy
Guys don't like skinny minnies anyway!

worraliberty · 23/04/2011 23:52

To be fair I hardly ever eat cakes or biscuits and when I do, I just have the one or possibly two small ones.

It's not because I 'deny' myself, I just literally don't want any more.

My vice is a fried brekkie (and I mean the full works!) so I have that once or maybe twice a week.

If that's 'denial' then I don't think denial is a bad thing? Why shouldn't we deny things that are going to make us obese?

I don't know when it became ok to constantly treat ourselves all the time to unhealthy stuff and make it part of our everyday diet when it should really be an occasional thing? Confused

squeakytoy · 23/04/2011 23:52

My dad had a high metabolism, all the men in his family do. All lean and wiry, and can eat full fat everything, without ever putting on any weight, but they are/were all very active people too. My mum spent her life on a diet, consisting mostly of polo mints and ryvitas, because she only needed to look at a cake and would put on weight. She kept the weight off as they were dance teachers, but she did seem to always be watching what she ate.

valiumbandwitch · 23/04/2011 23:52

i don't feel like i'm denying myself something all that wonderful though. few extra biscuits, cakes,,,, eating brown bread instead of white! it's not that hard and it's worth it. I'm not a skinny minnie by any means, bmi of about 23, but imo it wouldn't be worth eating more.