Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not stop my DC's playing in the garden because it upsets someones dog?

109 replies

ozzysocks · 21/04/2011 20:44

I have 3DC, DS1 is 7, DS2 is 4 and DD is 8 weeks. We are lucky enough to have an 80ft garden at the end of which we have a trampoline and climbing frame. This easter hols we have been out at parks etc most of the week but came home this afternoon at 2pm with my SIL and her 3 DCs aged 4,3 and 7 months. They all played in the garden until 4pm when we let the older ones watch a film inside. At 5.30 a man came to the door and talked to SIL while I was BFing DD upstairs, I could hear he was annoyed about something, so I stopped and went to the door.
I asked how I could help as I lived here not SIL, after angrily muttering about having to repeat himself he told me he wanted to complain about the children's noise! He arrived home from to find his wife very upset. Apparently the children screamed all afternoon Confused (they didn't, there was a couple of tantrums which were resolved within 5 mins and a water fight at one point with some shouting). Apparently this noise disturbs their dog and makes it bark which in turn upset the wife??? Confused
I explained we had visitors today and he said well its happened before. I guess we do sometimes have BBQ's with friends and their kids, but never going on too late. I said well they are young children and I didn't think there was any problem with playing in their own garden. I also pointed its not our fault that they have a neurotic dog and also mentioned that there are lots of children in the surrounding gardens at which point he said "yes, you are not the only people I've spoken to". My SIL said she didn't think they were being too loud, he replied "yes well maybe you are used to the noise but our children have grown up and left home"Hmm I was polite to him and said If the boys screamed incessantly (not likely to happen!) then of course I would tell them to be stop, but explained that I would not be able to or want to stop my children enjoying themselves in their own garden. My boys are always in bed by 7.30 and are polite well behaved kids who just like to be boisterous and have fun in their own space!
AIBU? What should I have said? Time for Wine I think

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 21/04/2011 20:48

Perhaps, if your kids are 80 feet away, it doesnt seem that noisy to you, but if he is right next to them in his garden, it seems a lot louder.

I know kids make noise, and in summer you expect it, but incessant screeching would drive most people mad.

kerala · 21/04/2011 20:49

YABU. You should all sit inside in silence in case you upset someones dog

Grin. Utterly ridiculous.

mercibucket · 21/04/2011 20:49
Wine

and chill

he sounds v uptight. yanbu. if you want to show willing you could always move the play equipment nearer your house but I doubt it will make a difference. you could also buy a very yappy dog Smile

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 20:49

In an 80ft. garden? I'd remind him I'm not in breach of any ordinance regarding noise and that if he may find the peace he craves in a retirement community with stricter regulations.

mumblemumblethump · 21/04/2011 20:50

YANBU.
Maybe you and DH should go play on the trampoline right now! That would give him something to moan about! Grin
oh, and definitely time for Wine

GypsyMoth · 21/04/2011 20:50

that sounds like something my dad would do....the bloody dog comes first with him !!

just carry on,you are doing nothing wrong

chunkythighs · 21/04/2011 20:52

[bushock] high five on your intelligent and reasoned arguments to that nutcase.
dnbu in relation to Wine, May I be so cheeky as to join you without invite.......

TheMonster · 21/04/2011 20:52

The noise from children isn't classed as a nuisance, however a barking dog is!

Pumpster · 21/04/2011 20:52

Tell him to call environmental health if it's that bad. Twat!

saffy85 · 21/04/2011 20:53

Eh? If a dog barking upsets his wife so much maybe they shouldn't own a dog. Confused

As for the noise the DC were making if you're sure they weren't screaming the place down for hours on end I fail to see your neighbours issue. There are much wrose things to overhear in other peoples' garden than the sound of children playing.

jojowest · 21/04/2011 20:53

there are two bloody kids in the next garden but one to me who screech incessently while on their bloody trampoline, all at full volume

after two or three hours, my nerves are jangling

chunkythighs · 21/04/2011 20:53

hee hee loving my bunny ears

mumblemumblethump · 21/04/2011 20:53

Hmm - squeakytoy, really!? It's a dog that was 'upset', and his (possibly) oversensitive wife who got her knickers in a twist.
Can see Les Dawson stylee bosom heaving going on at the 'noisy children' next door! Grin

zukiecat · 21/04/2011 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

therealmrsbeckham · 21/04/2011 20:54

YANBU. How ridiculous, god forbid your children should play in their own garden!

cat64 · 21/04/2011 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ozzysocks · 21/04/2011 20:57

Thanks everyone, feel much better now Wine is good too feel free to join me.
[buwink] love the ears

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 21/04/2011 20:57

But Mumble, surely everyone is entitled to enjoy their own garden. A garden is not a childrens park.

Some people would probably like to sit out and read in the sunshine, and not have a load of kids yelling and screaming for hours on end.

I do understand kids make noise, and should be playing out, but not everyone wants to hear them.

Why does the OP have the play equipment right at the bottom of her 80 foot garden for example??????

crashingwaves · 21/04/2011 20:57

It does sound totally unreasonable when you put it like that but to be honest I can sort of see his point. We have a dog who barks when she hears noises outside - obviously we don't demand silence from people walking past! - but if children were yelling and screeching all day, the dog would be barking a lot which in turn can make you quite frazzled (she says with feeling!)

I think the WAY he asked was very rude but I have politely asked people to please ask their children to make less noise before, as children do have an ear splitting shriek when excited and it's not so much about it upsetting the dog as being aware that loud noise can cause all sorts of disturbances such as for people working shifts, sleeping babies, etc. If someone said "could you ask the children to just be aware there is a newborn baby and to try and keep the noise down a bit" that wouldn't be unreasonable - it just seems that because it's a dog it looks a bit precious when it's not the dog but the dog's barking!

ChristinedePizan · 21/04/2011 20:59

He's a loon and what you said is spot on. FGS we get few enough sunny days in this country. Please organise huge back to back barbecues for the rest of the Bank Holiday [bugrin]

Georgimama · 21/04/2011 20:59

You were very calm and reasoned. I would have told him to piss off (but then I have lovely neighbours who would never complain about DS's play).

YANBU. He's a fruitloop to think that because his kids have left home - well, what, exactly? No children should ever play in the vincinity of their home again because they're done with it?

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 21:01

that's why I'd suggest a retirement community to him.

buying property is such places involves agreeing to strict deed restrictions about all kinds of things, including guests and noise.

Georgimama · 21/04/2011 21:01

crashingwaves if someone told me to tell my child to stop playing in the garden because of a newborn baby I'd tell them to take a hike too. It's not the fact it's just a dog, it's the fact that 2pm-4.30pm is not an unreasonable time of day for children to be playing in their own garden, in the school holidays, on one of the rare lovely days we get.

squeakytoy · 21/04/2011 21:04

Kids can play without it meaning a really high level of noise. I dont understand why people think it is absolutely fine to disturb everyone else and think it is quite selfish actually.

If the kids want to make a racket, take them to a park, or a wide open space where they can make as much noise as they like without it affecting everyone else who is trying to enjoy their own gardens too.

therealmrsbeckham · 21/04/2011 21:04

Squeaky - 'everyone is entitled to enjoy their garden'. Yes they are including children.

Swipe left for the next trending thread