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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not stop my DC's playing in the garden because it upsets someones dog?

109 replies

ozzysocks · 21/04/2011 20:44

I have 3DC, DS1 is 7, DS2 is 4 and DD is 8 weeks. We are lucky enough to have an 80ft garden at the end of which we have a trampoline and climbing frame. This easter hols we have been out at parks etc most of the week but came home this afternoon at 2pm with my SIL and her 3 DCs aged 4,3 and 7 months. They all played in the garden until 4pm when we let the older ones watch a film inside. At 5.30 a man came to the door and talked to SIL while I was BFing DD upstairs, I could hear he was annoyed about something, so I stopped and went to the door.
I asked how I could help as I lived here not SIL, after angrily muttering about having to repeat himself he told me he wanted to complain about the children's noise! He arrived home from to find his wife very upset. Apparently the children screamed all afternoon Confused (they didn't, there was a couple of tantrums which were resolved within 5 mins and a water fight at one point with some shouting). Apparently this noise disturbs their dog and makes it bark which in turn upset the wife??? Confused
I explained we had visitors today and he said well its happened before. I guess we do sometimes have BBQ's with friends and their kids, but never going on too late. I said well they are young children and I didn't think there was any problem with playing in their own garden. I also pointed its not our fault that they have a neurotic dog and also mentioned that there are lots of children in the surrounding gardens at which point he said "yes, you are not the only people I've spoken to". My SIL said she didn't think they were being too loud, he replied "yes well maybe you are used to the noise but our children have grown up and left home"Hmm I was polite to him and said If the boys screamed incessantly (not likely to happen!) then of course I would tell them to be stop, but explained that I would not be able to or want to stop my children enjoying themselves in their own garden. My boys are always in bed by 7.30 and are polite well behaved kids who just like to be boisterous and have fun in their own space!
AIBU? What should I have said? Time for Wine I think

OP posts:
GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/04/2011 21:04

I have to listen to my neighbour shouting at his kids, someone else's dog barking, the bloke two doors down with his music. It's part of living in a community. Until such time as you can sound proof open air it's tough luck. children playing is not unreasonable noise.

crashingwaves · 21/04/2011 21:05

I can totally see that, but the problem is that if he's had it ALL DAY from other children he'd be feeling a bit frazzled! Grin Oh and just to be pedantic I didn't say I would ever tell a child to stop playing in their garden but I have politely asked children to please make a little less noise in the past. :)

mumblemumblethump · 21/04/2011 21:05

"surely everyone is entitled to enjoy their own garden. A garden is not a childrens park" Hmm
It's private property, they are only little, and enjoying some playtime in a safe place, with no dog poo, broken glass, etc.. (not that all parks are like that)
I think the term is 'precious'. Grin

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 21:05

What Georgie said.

If it's during reasonable hours, it's not considered a nuisance.

If you want silence like that, save up to move out to the countryside.

squeakytoy · 21/04/2011 21:06

But the neighbours garden is HIS private property too.

I would love the op to explain WHY the climbing equipment and trampoline are as far away from her own house as possible. Grin

chunkythighs · 21/04/2011 21:07

squeaky, I'm guessing that the noise of children playing in a garden is part and parcel of urban living-along with cars, barking dogs etc......I reckon if the dog can't handle that then the owners should consider retraining it so it can live in an urban setting.

(I live in a rural setting, for the past week the noise of the tractors and various equipment has been going on from 8am to 9pm, before that it was the array of 'interesting' smells.....completely acceptable in a rural environment).

ChristinedePizan · 21/04/2011 21:08

He should try living round here with my DS peering through the hole in the fence at everyone who walks past and shouting 'HELLO! I am dePizanette!' at a v loud volume.

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 21:08

By the same token, squeaky, if you want to live without having your peace disturbed by others, move out to the country.

DIY, shouting, music, loud kids, BBQs, etc etc. All not considered nuisance noise by most councils (bar extreme exeptions) during reasonable daytime hours for a reason.

It's part of urban life.

We have to put up with loud music A LOT. I'm starting to just tune it out.

MrsCampbellBlack · 21/04/2011 21:09

This is interesting.

We've just moved house and now have neighbours and I've been telling the children to be quiet in the garden - no shrieking etc. Saw lovely new neighbour tonight and said I hoped the children weren't being too noisy and he looked at me like I was a loon as he explained he'd had 6 children all now grown up and was a teacher so was used to children Grin

I just don't get why children playing in the afternoon in their garden is a problem and if some-one said it upset their dog - well - perhaps said dog needs to get some help Smile And newborn babies need to get used to noise in the day too and people who work shifts need to get earplugs.

crashingwaves · 21/04/2011 21:09

The thing is though (to me) it's the huge difference between church like silence (totally unreasonable) and a day filled with screams, shrieks, wails and shouts which I'm afraid I do also think is a little unreasonable as well. If DS goes above a certain octave, shall we say, I gently suggest he makes less noise ;)

Mind you my dad sunbathes in his underpants - that's more U than any kids! Grin

Georgimama · 21/04/2011 21:09

expat - I live in the country. Deep, proper country, not really a village even.

It's a lot noisier than most suburban housing estates. We live next door to a farm, which basically means we live next door to a factory/industrial estate. The rural idyll illusion is just that.

therealmrsbeckham · 21/04/2011 21:10

Squeaky - our trampoline and climbing frame are at the other end of our garden too. It's not to piss of the neighbours just not practical to have them anywhere else due to patio and lawn areas.

If the OP children had been in the garden late into the evening you may have a point but it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon FFS.

cat64 · 21/04/2011 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

crashingwaves · 21/04/2011 21:10

Lol MrsCampbellBlack I am a teacher as well, I think that's why I am less tolerant of noisy kids as I have them all day as well ;)

NellieForbush · 21/04/2011 21:11

So, they've got a dog but failed to train it properly and now its driving them up the wall....

I would phone environmental health about the constant barking from his dog. That really is annoying.

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 21:11

Georgi, we lived in a very rural setting, too. Farm in back of the property. Only one road through and it was on a logging route. No streetlights. No numbers on what houses there were.

It was a lot quieter than when we lived in Leith.

Or here, which is still considered rural, but is at the border of a village.

gotolder · 21/04/2011 21:11

Anyone attempting to get me to agree that children's play noise is unreasonable gets asked "Were you never noisy as a child?". Usually stops complaints stone dead.

JustCallMeGrouchy · 21/04/2011 21:12

and people looked at me like i was nuts when moved into new house and realise its right next to a breakdown yard .Theres a upside to it .I have no other neighbours and truth yards not tha busy odd bit of banging and lol i will never need worry if have car trouble

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 21:13

If we ever get the opportunity to live in a place with a garden again, we're going to enjoy it to the max.

expatinscotland · 21/04/2011 21:14

I'd like to live next to a cannabis factory. Plants don't blast bass at all hours, get drunk and get into arguments, screech, try to do handbrake turns out front or have gang members chasing them.

Georgimama · 21/04/2011 21:15

I agree with Nellie. A barking demented dog is annoying. The happy laughter and even little squabbles of children mid afternoon is not. Not if you don't have to adjudicate anyway. My neighbours love hearing DS play.

fidelma · 21/04/2011 21:17

I am on your side however we are in 2 acres and after the children have been very loud for about an hour I ask them to remember that we have people on both sides of us.I also am lucky enough to be able to move them to the other side of the garden.Children should be children but they must also respect others.The people to my right are old and love their garden they are entitled to some peace.

I think a half way opption is needed.

Is the trampoline right next to their garden?

Could it be moved somewhere eles?

MrsBananaGrabber · 21/04/2011 21:18

What a miserable tit, I would have told him to shove his dog and tell his wife to get some earplugs, putting a dog before children playing, no way.

ddubsgirl · 21/04/2011 21:19

ugh we got my kids a trampoline on tuesday,yesterday next door were moaning and told kids to shut the fuck up yet its ok for them to have 1 & a swing for the grankids in their garden!

Original poster
ozzysocks · 21/04/2011 21:21

The play equipment is at the end of the garden because there is a large gravelled area towards the house and then a small hedge so there is no room anywhere else. Oh and its not right at the end as there is a veg patch past it (7ft deep).

I do ask my kids to be quieter if they are screaming constantly but today the loud tantrums were dealt with quickly and as far as I'm concerned a loud water fight for 15mins is what sunshine and childhood is about :)

I would have reacted the same if it was a newborn baby disturbed. They have big gardens too so could move nearer house.

Retirement village sounds a good idea Wink

OP posts:
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