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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have wanted some tea with cow's milk in it..

114 replies

Olifin · 20/04/2011 23:08

...at a lovely seaside park in Hove. Very, very popular and busy playpark right next to the beach which attracts all sorts of families.

The cafe in the park is a vegan, organic place. Apparently it belongs to Heather Mills but I don't know if that is true.

Anyway...non-dairy ice-cream for the kids (don't know what they make it with but it's faaaaar too sweet) and tea for me with soya milk. I don't really want soya milk in my tea but there's no alternative, being as it's a vegan cafe.

I'm all for making provision for people with allergies and ethics and so on but....AIBU to find a vegan cafe in such a very popular location a tad...restrictive? Or bossy?

OP posts:
ddubsgirl · 21/04/2011 10:13

im in brighton but was born lancing :)

try queens park or peter pans next time!normal teas & coffees!

MikeOxstiff · 21/04/2011 10:17

thats discrimination

bloody vegans

Ephiny · 21/04/2011 10:18

YABU, there are countless other cafes that serve dairy products, whereas it's actually very difficult for vegans to find somewhere that serves suitable food/drinks - by comparison you really are not suffering a huge inconvenience by encountering one single vegan cafe.

Also I think YABU to want animal products when there's an alternative available!

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 21/04/2011 10:37

Hmm let's try it the other way shall we?
'AIBU to think that cafes should serve an alternative for cows milk for vegans?'
Bet that one wouldn't get so many negative replies! But then of course vegans and veggies do have a huge sense of entitlement in general.
Or another way? 'AIBU to think there should be a gluten free option in cafes and restaurants?' that would get pages of 'well duh, they can't cater for everyone, take your own or eat at home!'type comments.
Why can't non meat establishments have a provision for non vegans/veggies? It is totally expected that there be an option in reverse?!

EricNorthmansMistress · 21/04/2011 10:46

Saggy it's a vegan cafe. It caters to vegans and people who are happy to go vegan. If you don't want to go vegan you can exercise your choice and go elsewhere....

I like eating in veggie places because I know that no cooking implem,ents will have meat traces on them, no accidental serving of a meat option which you don't notice til it';s too late etc. Also most veggie/vegan places are so for ideological reasons. They are hardly going to provide something they do not agree with.

It's a business. Either there is the market to keep the business in profit or there isn't. If there isn't, the business will fold. If you aren't the target market you can go somewhere else....

Original poster
Olifin · 21/04/2011 10:47

I shall be cycling over your way later on today.

ddubsgirl Peter Pan's has gone to make way for the exciting new Aquarena :)

Ephiny No, it's not a huge inconvenience, I agree. I was rather 'tired and emotional' when I posted this last night, having crashed my car after the visit to the vegan cafe and then discovered a dead bird on my carpet when I got home.

OP posts:
Ephiny · 21/04/2011 10:49

I wasn't aware that there was any 'reverse' of vegetarianism where people felt morally obliged to consume solely animal products Hmm

Vegan cafes and 'normal' cafes are not the reverse of each other. The 'opposite' of a vegan cafe would be an animal-products-only cafe, which you could not reasonably expect to serve a veggie option.

Ormirian · 21/04/2011 10:49

Vegan? Try macrobiotic vegan. Now that's hard-core.

Went to a macrobiotic vegan BBQ a few years back. I ate lettuce Hmm.

EricNorthmansMistress · 21/04/2011 10:51

I live in Mickey Mouse town :) I shan't be there though, am at work :(

Original poster
Olifin · 21/04/2011 10:52

Up on the hill? That's exactly where I am going :) To work, funnily enough. I tutor a young lady who lives up there.

OP posts:
grovel · 21/04/2011 10:53

I'd blow up the farkin cafe.

EricNorthmansMistress · 21/04/2011 10:54
Grin I do indeed live up the hill. I live in the top left corner. Next to the fields.
masterblaster · 21/04/2011 10:58

Do they serve in takeaway cups? Ya possibly bu to take in milk, but yanbu to get a black tea to take away and do whatever you like with it after, including stirring it with a chicken bone for a spoon, and grating ham and cheese into it, if it took your fancy. Odd cup of tea then, though.

Original poster
Olifin · 21/04/2011 10:59

Nice; 'tis lovely there. The girl I am going to see lives in HS Road. Sort of right in the middle, I think.

I live in...well, Durrington really but officially Salvington Ward.

OP posts:
Original poster
Olifin · 21/04/2011 11:00

Lol @ masterblaster Grin

OP posts:
Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 21/04/2011 11:03

I was thinking of the reverse of a veggie/vegan cafe as being a cafe that didn't only serve these products.
I've worked in restaurants for years. 'normal' ones, veggies would always look for the veggie option, nobody ever suggested that they ate meat or went somewhere else?! I've worked in places that were the only eating place for miles. Still, nobody said 'tough, eat meat products'! Even steak houses provide vegetarian options.

melodyangel · 21/04/2011 11:05

Was thinking of going to Hove lagoon - Will take a picnic now. Ta for the heads up.

Although may try a bit of cake, just to compare to my usual vegan cake.

EricNorthmansMistress · 21/04/2011 11:05

That's like two roads away from me :)

Small world. If you see a young man and a curly haired poppet wandering around that's my DS and my lodger/housekeeper/babysitter :)

Ephiny · 21/04/2011 11:11

I see your point, but it's not really the reverse. The reverse would be a cafe who's whole ethos and reason for existing was to provide food free of anything that wasn't part of or taken from an animal, e.g. to provide a place for people who had a moral objection to vegetables :) Which would be quite odd and repellent in my view, if such a place did exist. But if they did exist, I wouldn't go to one and then complain that they wouldn't serve me soya milk!

And it's also not the same because vegans 'can't' eat meat or drink milk, at least not without compromising their ethical beliefs. Whereas omnivores 'can' eat things that aren't meat or dairy. Of course you can argue all you like about whether it's reasonable for people to place such restrictions on themselves and how much they should be catered for. But you can't say it's the same situation, or that one is the reverse or opposite of the other, because logically they're just not.

GloriaSmut · 21/04/2011 11:12

Come to Lewes and have delicious teas in the Grange Gardens!

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 21/04/2011 11:41

I have already clarified my reverse comment. I didn't word it properly, and you are using the incorrect wording to justify yourself. IMO, you are just as U to ask for veggie/vegan in a 'normal' cafe, as a non veggie/vegan wanting cows milk in a dedicated cafe. And they way I see it, veggies/vegans COULD eat meat and milk, they just WON'T. There is a world of difference. A coeliac or someone with a food allergy CAN'T eat the things they are allergic to. There is a world of difference.

HeadfirstForHalos · 21/04/2011 13:28

But it wouldn't be against a meat eating persons beliefs to have soya milk- unless they believe it's cruel to harvest soya beans? Okay, fair enough to not "like" it but that's different. There is veggie/vegan food I don't like, but I don't avoid it because it's against my beliefs, just against my taste buds!

HeadfirstForHalos · 21/04/2011 13:29

I'm veggie, and have been for 20 years. I couldn't physically eat meat now if I wanted to.

TrillianAstra · 21/04/2011 13:37

It does seem weird that if there is only one cafe in the park that it should be a specialist cafe.

All of the poeple saying 'go somewhere else then' don't seem to have read that this was the only cafe in the park. It was here or nowhere.

YANBU to want tea with cows milk in, and YANBU to expect a cafe with a captive audience to try to cater for the widest range of tastes possible. It should serve tea (and decaf tea) with cow milk, goat milk, sheep milk, soya milk, rice milk, skimmed versions of all of the above, organic versions of all of the above, or no milk at all.

But since they do have a captive audience they probably feel that they can do as they like, because people have to either buy their stuff or leave the park. There's no market pressure for them to please a wider audience.

EricNorthmansMistress · 21/04/2011 13:57

The cafe is open only because HM is rich and has a hobby and can afford to open a flaming great big vegan cafe and clearly run at a loss. Prior to her buying it it was closed. She didn't prevent anyone else from opening a non vegan cafe - she took on a non profitable cafe and turned it into a vanity project (IMO, I could be wrong, she might be making money). Either way, she has the perfect right to open her business anywhere she likes.

It's in the middle of the lagoon and there is nowhere else to open a cafe there. However there is a pub, a woodies diner, a greasy spoon type cafe all within spitting distance, and there are lots of cafes a ten minute walk away on the local high st.

There is nothing out of order about her opening a vegan cafe. Prior to that there was no cafe. She didn't force anyone to leave the premises. The fact that it's overpriced and serves disgusting products is what makes it so disappointing IMO!