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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To phone the police & ask them to go to my mothers house?

77 replies

Bohica · 20/04/2011 19:45

I'm miles away with no car today & 3 children in bed.
I've had a call to tell me that my mother has not been seen or spoken to since yesterday.

My mother is an alcholic, she is attending AA meetings & has been clear for 3 months.

When I last spoke to her on monday she was feeling down with everything & said she had had a drink on saturday. I told her to go to extra meetings & do everything she could to get things back on track quickly.

She phoned work & friends yesterday telling them she wasn't going to work that day as she was going to the hospital (priory) for a day visit, now I know that's not true because they know she has had a drink so she isn't allowed onsite for 5 days.

A friend of the family went to my mothers home yesterday evening & heard her talking to herself trough the open bedroom window & cursing the phone that kept ringing (that was me calling her)

I know we can't stop her drinking even though it is heart breaking for us all but I can't get the thought that maybe she has fallen over drunk or done something even more stupid out of my head.

I don't have a key to get into her home even if I could find a way of getting to her.

OP posts:
MaisyMooCow · 20/04/2011 19:47

Can you call a friend to drive round there for you?

dixiechick1975 · 20/04/2011 19:47

Yes i'd call the local station near her home

KurriKurri · 20/04/2011 19:47

Yes ask the local police - I've done it when worried about a relative miles away. they will go and have a look for you. I really hope your mum is OK, you must be very worried Sad

marmaladetwatkins · 20/04/2011 19:47

If you can't get anyone to get in and check then I don't think you would be U to call the police.

cheepcheepchoconora · 20/04/2011 19:47

you can ring the non emergency number and report 'concern for welfare' they'll send around some PCSO's to check on her

we had to do it for a neighbour who it turned out had had a fall so was a good job we had... they broke in in the end, after trying all other options

feggyart · 20/04/2011 19:48

In the circs i would call the police. Hope she ok.

MillsAndDoom · 20/04/2011 19:48

I would - as a non emergency call.

grovel · 20/04/2011 19:48

Do it. Just do it. The police really won't mind. And you'll be able to sleep OK. Come back and tell us that you've done it. And (I'm sure you know this) be really nice to the police.

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 20/04/2011 19:49

yes just call local police station

floweryblue · 20/04/2011 19:49

Oh Bohica, how awful for you. I think it wouldn't hurt to call the police (not 999, just her local station) and explain the situation.

zukiecat · 20/04/2011 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bohica · 20/04/2011 19:51

I have sent people over to the house but she will not maybe can't open the door.

OP posts:
BeakerTheMuppetMuppet · 20/04/2011 19:52

I would call the local police station, but only after having exhausted ALL other means of getting in touch with her.

If she has been attending AA meetings, someone there might know her address (maybe a lift home or got friendly?) - it might be worth calling the local number to her, it should be in the phone book. They might not be able to help due to confidentiality but it might be worth a try.

I hope you find her safe and well very soon.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 20/04/2011 19:52

Have they heard her Bohica? Is she definately in there?

Original poster
Bohica · 20/04/2011 20:15

I have called them & they are on their way round now. Please let her open the door to them & not let something horrible have happened.

I was sooo cross with her yesterday & today I couldn't do anymore than continue to call her because I have 3 children here all with big ears and I don't want them knowing something could be wrong.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 20/04/2011 20:18

I hope it all turns out okay, am sure they will get back to you shortly with news.

CareyFakes · 20/04/2011 20:18

You've exhausted all avenues and the police are now the best people to call.

Hope she answers the door and is safe.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 20/04/2011 20:18

She may be having a bad couple of days...or she may answer the door and say "What?" like this Hmm

I am sure she's fine.

{hug}

kaid100 · 20/04/2011 20:20

I believe the police generally need an adult to be missing for 24 hours before they get serious about it. I don't know if your mother has been missing that long.

whatsallthehullaballoo · 20/04/2011 20:20

I hope you get some good news soon. Sit tight.

SwearyMary · 20/04/2011 20:24

I hope you can gain contact with your Mum. If you can't get any joy by sending the friends round then I would definitely give the local station a call.
For now, try not to worry, you are doing all the right things.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 20/04/2011 20:24

kaid But a local officer will check on someone who is vulnerable at home.

jenga079 · 20/04/2011 20:28

I hope she's okay. Don't worry about calling police. We had to do this for a relative late last year and they were absolutely fine about it.

Groovee · 20/04/2011 20:28

I'm going through something similar with my mother at the moment. So it would call the local number to just check as in a drunken state anything could happen.

OkeeDoeKee · 20/04/2011 20:30

kaid100 That's not true in England. It's only in America where they won't take a missing report for 24 hours. If someone has genuine concerns for an adult, as in this case, they would take the report imeediately

The only time you may be asked to wait would be where adults had had an argument and one party had stormed off with no particular concern for their welfare. You maybe asked to wait a couple of hours to see if they return before a report would be taken.

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