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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit upset at having to pay for all of it?

109 replies

SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 00:20

Background story is a friends son was at my house playing on the console with my 2 ds when it was knocked over by my youngest and the friends son's game inside was damaged with laser burn.

Now it was a complete accident and could have been any of them that it had happened to but my ds2 owned up and was really very sad and crying about it, i told him not to worry it was an accident but the boy started saying "you have to buy me a new one now mummy will say so".

I told the boys mum when she picked him up and she went on about how this was a brand new game costing £45 and that i will have to replace it.
I am in no position to have even £5 spare atm so will take time to get together that kind of money. My boys only have the one game that they play on the console whereas this other boy has many and is very spoiled.

I guess im just a little annoyed that she is going to leave it all up to me for something that was a complete accident and if it was the other way around i would have just said never mind we will see what we can do when its been out a while.

OP posts:
Newgolddream · 19/04/2011 00:25

If it was me I would offer to pay half - and then find a second hand copy, which will be cheaper. At the end of the day your son broke it (albeit accidentally) but it was her sons responsibility for it since it was his and he took it our of his own house.

LDNmummy · 19/04/2011 00:26

He brought it over to your house so there should be an acknowledgement that if it breaks it is not your responsibility. Unless you asked to use it for the evening? Then you are responsible. But if you didn't ask and it was brought to play with of the other boy and his mums own accord, then I think it should be seen as an unfortunate accident and maybe you can see what you can do to help contribute to replacing it.

Thats my opinion anyway.

Did the other mum explain why she felt you should pay full wack?

bellabelly · 19/04/2011 00:26

Would it be covered by your contents insurance? Accidental damage?

Original poster
SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 00:27

I cant very well offer to pay for just half now though that she seems to have decided im paying for all of it, i dont want to fall out over this and im not very good at standing up for myself so i will be left with it all :(

OP posts:
ddubsgirl · 19/04/2011 00:29

what game was it?i would look around and find a preowned 1

BigChiefOrganiser · 19/04/2011 00:30

What was the game? Maybe with a bit of googling we can find a cheap one for you?

FWIW, I don't think you should pay full either

FabbyChic · 19/04/2011 00:32

Sorry but you are being unreasonable, the game was damaged because of your son, and whilst it was an accident why should the other parent have to suffer any cost.

Why is the game not secure on a proper surface so it couldn't be knocked over?

Have a look on eBay for the game it might be cheaper.

malibustac · 19/04/2011 00:33

Could you go online and search for the cheapest copy and give her that? You csan buy games pre-owned just don't tell her. How long has he had the game?

reddaisy · 19/04/2011 00:33

Surely an accident is just an accident? I wouldn't dream of making anyone pay if DDs belongings got broken unless it was definitely wilfully destroyed.

frgr · 19/04/2011 00:34

Well YABU to expect to pay nothing...

Original poster
SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 00:34

It was the newest young childrens game out, i didnt ask for it to be brought over and i have no insurance of any kind.

The mum didn't explain anything and just said "Someone owes me 45 quid or a new game" Which i took to mean me as ds is only 4 and not likely to pay anything.

Im really upset over this now to the point of me panicking over money worries and rows with people i dont need and cant handle right now :(

OP posts:
fortyplus · 19/04/2011 00:37

Given your financial circumstances there's no way you should have to pay the full cost. Next time you see her say that you've been really worrying about the money and offer her £10 towards replacement. If she's worth having as a friend she will understand.

frgr · 19/04/2011 00:37

"The mum didn't explain anything and just said "Someone owes me 45 quid or a new game""

Well that's clearly crap. did she say this with the children around? how passive aggressive. that sort of thing really gets up my nose and unless she asked directly, politely and discreetly I take back my YABU and suggest that unless she deals with it in a more mature manner I'd not give over a penny just on the principle alone.

fortyplus · 19/04/2011 00:39

ps if you're that hard up you can't afford not to have insurance!! Shock

Are you a council or HA tenant? Most arrange very cheap household insurance with low sums insured - where I work you can get insurance for contents starting at £9000

VajazzHands · 19/04/2011 00:41

If yoru son broke it at her house I woudl think YABU, but her son shoudln't be bringing over things he isn't prepared to break or lose.. Did you even know that he brought it over?

Original poster
SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 00:41

I dont mean to paint her out to be horrible im sure she didnt mean it to sound like that but the children were inside and it was evening and she had had a drink and said she was very angry as he had only had it a couple of months so she was probably just mad about a new game being ruined as i would be.

OP posts:
ohmyfucksy · 19/04/2011 00:42

Well she sounds very rude so I would personally not buy a new game, especially seeing as you can't afford it at all. What's she gonna do?

SolarPanel · 19/04/2011 00:42

Can't she claim it on her insurance?

Original poster
SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 00:43

Forty i dont have anything worth insuring so there is no point really, the console itself is the only thing of value in the house and is still being paid for so is under optional cover or something like that so it could be fixed if broken.

OP posts:
VajazzHands · 19/04/2011 00:43

She doesn't sound like a very nice friend tbh. I'd reconsider the friendship and I really wouldn't pay if you haven't got it to spend it. ANd she shoudln't be paying loads of money for crappy games if she can't afford to lose them

SpeedyGonzalez · 19/04/2011 00:46

She does sound very rude, indeed. These things happen, and relationships are worth far more than bloody games, aren't they?

I haven't got into the whole video game thing yet as my kids are too young, but I am Shock at the idea of taking an easily breakable toy of that value to a friend's house. Perhaps I'll feel differently when my DC reach that age. But if I were the mother I would have warned my DC that any damage done to the toy is their responsibility. That would have been one of my conditions of them taking it.

fortyplus · 19/04/2011 00:49

SleepyDopeyGrumpy - so there are no floor coverings in your home? You don't have a bed, sofa, fridge, cooker, washing machine, computer, tv??? You don't wear clothes?! Work out how much it all costs to replace and think about the consequences of a fire or even just a burst pipe..

EttiKetti · 19/04/2011 00:49

She sounds awful! If its a couple of months old tho, you'll be able to get it preowned, I'd offer half the cost of that personally WHEN you have it.

Original poster
SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 00:52

Forty i will look into it to see how much the council charge but its a bit like the lottery to me why try and find money each week for something which may never happen? Much better in my gas or electric than dissapearing to be never seen again :S

OP posts:
cat64 · 19/04/2011 00:54

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