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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit upset at having to pay for all of it?

109 replies

SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 00:20

Background story is a friends son was at my house playing on the console with my 2 ds when it was knocked over by my youngest and the friends son's game inside was damaged with laser burn.

Now it was a complete accident and could have been any of them that it had happened to but my ds2 owned up and was really very sad and crying about it, i told him not to worry it was an accident but the boy started saying "you have to buy me a new one now mummy will say so".

I told the boys mum when she picked him up and she went on about how this was a brand new game costing £45 and that i will have to replace it.
I am in no position to have even £5 spare atm so will take time to get together that kind of money. My boys only have the one game that they play on the console whereas this other boy has many and is very spoiled.

I guess im just a little annoyed that she is going to leave it all up to me for something that was a complete accident and if it was the other way around i would have just said never mind we will see what we can do when its been out a while.

OP posts:
Hatesponge · 19/04/2011 00:54

There may be an easier solution than replacing the game.

DS1 (who has just woken up with a bad cough, before anyone asks why he's up at this time!) and is an expert in all game type things tells me that this damage is similar to a scratch and you should be able to take it into a shop (our local HMV does it but there must be others) where they remove a layer from the disc, after which it should be fine. Cost about £3.

Assuming that works, an awful lot cheaper than replacing the whole game!

Original poster
SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 00:56

Yes hate i already told her that blockbusters do this and she said she will take it up there tomorrow and see but if it doesnt work then thats what im worried about apparently its not a sure thing at all

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 19/04/2011 00:58

It shouldn't have been at yur house if she didn't want to take the risk of it getting broken by other people, END OF. What a stupid way to discuss replacing it with you, how rude.

Put something towards it out of good faith and to show you made an effort but it is hardly your responsibility to replace something she allowed her child to take over to a friends house. She is more responsible IMO than you are.

I find it very telling of her personality that her son knew she would ask you for a replacement without her even knowing about the situation yet. Hope she is actually a good friend where it counts because she sounds appalling.

Hatesponge · 19/04/2011 01:01

there was me thinking I had solved the problem!

fingers crossed though. I know DS has done this with a few of his games though and it's worked every time.

being horribly cynical, do you trust her to tell you honestly if it's worked/not worked? just thinking she could say that it didn't (when it did) get you to hand over £45 on the basis of replacing the game, then she's got the money and a game that works......

BabyDubsEverywhere · 19/04/2011 01:03

She sounds like a cheeky cow, its a childrens toy, children break things, tough!

Now, with ref to her someone owes me statement, yes, i supose someone does, your DS. He is 4 right? So may be working in about 12-14 years?

Great, the very first thing he should do in 12-14 years is replace the game.

I think thats more than fair OP. Grin

BabyDubsEverywhere · 19/04/2011 01:04

Hate i have been told you can actually do that with tooth paste, or is that an urban myth?

Original poster
SleepyDopeyGrumpy · 19/04/2011 01:05

no im sure she wouldnt do that she is a nice women just a bit blunt is all and just says what she means and doesnt really care what anybody thinks of her. She has the guts i could have done with to stand up for myself lol

Fingers crossed the game can be fixed cheaply tomorrow then i have to go to bed i feel so drained and upset i need some sleep to face this tomorrow. Thanks for the advice ladies but i will just have to wait and see what happens and what she wants.

OP posts:
chateauferret · 19/04/2011 01:07

Hang on. I don't think a games console knocked over should destroy the disk or software module inside, especially not if it is supposedly designed for children. Is it still in guarantee? Even if not, I'd take it up with the manufacturer.

LostInSockLand · 19/04/2011 01:15

I would be mad too if i'd spent £45 on a game only for it to be ruined (by anyone!). (As a rule, even if I could afford it I wouldn't normally spend that much, it's such a rip off). It could be though that her son has ruined a fair few things recently and this was the last straw...(I know we had one week where through silly accidents my kids managed to break a couple of their toys and when the third one went I was FURIOUS!) It's possible I suppose that she's taken it out on you in the heat of the moment and might think differently when she's calmed down a bit. After all, i'm assuming she knew he'd taken it out of the house so she's partly to blame?

What's done is done, if she knows you well then she knows you cant really afford to buy a new one. I would offer to put some towards the same game (nothing wrong with preowned but if it's very new that could be difficult to get hold of).

We have a rule that the kids dont lend anything to friends/dont borrow anything from friends and dont take things to friends houses unless i'm with them. Maybe you could both agree on that for the future? It's just too much hassle if anything goes wrong!

whitemonkey · 19/04/2011 06:30

Have a look on the play and amazon websites, I can't think of any
Games which would cost you £45, they are normally heavily discounted on these sites. What exactly is the game?

Bucharest · 19/04/2011 06:34

When I first started reading I was ready to say you were BU, your child broke it, etc etc.
Now I don't think you are at all....putting myself in the other mother's shoes...if dd took a game, cheap or expensive to another child's house and it got accidentally broken, there's no way I'd be asking for money, I'd be slapping myself round the head and saying that'll teach me to let dd take stuff to other people's houses.
YANBU.

FabbyChic · 19/04/2011 06:34

It is possible the game can be replaced on eBay, if you do some research you could say to her, oh you can get that preowned on eBay for £20.00, I will go halves.

As you say you never asked for it to be brought over.

I would suggest though that you move the console so it cannot be knocked over in the future.

gorionine · 19/04/2011 06:37

What is she going to do? It was an accident and you do not have the money. Will she come every evening to ask you for any spare change you have until the "debt" is paid?

"no im sure she wouldnt do that she is a nice women just a bit blunt" she is NOT nice, she knows you have not destroyed the game out of spite, she knows you have not got the money and she is still going on at you for these £45 you do not have.

Tee2072 · 19/04/2011 06:39

What game is it? I'm having a hard time believing it cost £45.

gorionine · 19/04/2011 06:39

I also agree with all the people pointing at the fact that you did not
ask for the game to be brought to yours. Had you asked "can I borrow the game for the afternoon?" IMHO you would be responsible for it but in the circumstances you describe, no way I would pay.

sausagesandmarmelade · 19/04/2011 06:41

This is ridiculous....absolutely ridiculous.

Is this how it is now..that if accidents happen (which they do frequently with little ones) and something breaks parents are now expected to cough up the cost of replacing the item.

Apologise yes...but don't pay £45 for this item.

If she wants to play that game...say "sure I'll contribute it but I'm taking off £25 for having your son over and looking after him". If that is ridiculous then so is her claim!

goingroundthebend4 · 19/04/2011 06:50

Just out of intrest what was the accident and how did it happen ?

But I would tend to be if that happened well you took it out the house so no one to blame other than yourself (to my child that is not you op.I would certainly not expect you to pay for it .

WhatOnEarthIsIt · 19/04/2011 07:00

I agree that it's not your responsibility to pay. She brought the game into your house, so unless you asked her to, it's entirely her lookout.

I would probably offer to pay half the cost of a new game (pre-owned if possible) IF I was in a position to do so. Although I'd expect a good friend to decline my offer if she knew my situation.

ScaredOfCows · 19/04/2011 08:22

I think I would just ignore it completely. If she asks again for the money, just say that you are a bit short of money at the moment, but will let her have it when you have it spare. Then just ignore again. And repeat as necessary.

Accidents happen with kids. She is teaching her son that accidents are always someones fault, and that someone must pay/be punished. Bollocks to that. And well done to your son for owning up to it straight away - that's what kids do when they are not scared of the consequences.

tabulahrasa · 19/04/2011 08:46

Hmm it depends what actually happened whether you're being unreasonable or not, if it was a genuine accident that was no-one's fault then your friend is

but I've offered to pay for things my children have broken when the 'accident' has been caused by them doing something they shouldn't have been doing

how do you knock over a games console?

gorionine · 19/04/2011 08:48

"how do you knock over a games console?"

By accidentGrin

tabulahrasa · 19/04/2011 09:05

Well mine are either under or beside the TV, so are most peoples I know - you'd be hard pushed to knock one over by accident without being somwhere silly or doing something silly

That's not the same thing as an accident

expatinscotland · 19/04/2011 09:14

Tell her you can't afford £45. You don't have it. You can't get blood out of a stone.

Hopefully it can be fixed but if not tell her second hand or she can go get knotted.

StealthyKissBeartrayal · 19/04/2011 09:14

Her DS knocked over their games console in their house - these things happen. Even if he was being silly (which 4 yos are - my 4yo regularly races round the house doing laps)

OP, did you or your children ask to play the game, or did the friend just bring it over?

goodbyemrschips · 19/04/2011 09:25

Well I would expect you to pay for the game. You or yours broke it so you or yours should pay for a replacement.

Please tell us the name of the game? I am sure you could get it cheaper.

And just because he has lots of games that dont make it right not to replace the broken one.