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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Think This Woman Deserves All She Gets?

57 replies

judgeyoldtrout · 18/04/2011 15:05

In a way, at least.

Someone I know has been having an affair with her boss at work, a married man, for 9 years. She is single, having left her DH (apparently) a short while prior to the affair beginning and has two DC aged 13 and 17.

The married man has been spending 3 nights a week, plus some weekends with this woman, who has aksed him to leave his wife numerous times, with the excuse usually that he couldn't because of his DC. They havbe split numerous times when he refused to leave and always started the affair again after a short period.

Last year his wife found out and rang his 'other womans' house calling her names. He ended it, then again they started seeing each other soon after. He then moved in with the other woman a few weeks ago, saying after almost a week he needed to go and sort something out at 'home' and would be back later. He never came back, only ringing later to say that he wouldn't be coming back, was in the car with his wife (on speakerphone) and as his DC (now almost grown up) now knew about the affair and wouldn't speak to him, him and his wife were going on holiday for a week and he wouldn't be back at work as he was leaving the company.

A week later, the bigger boss came in to work and told the 'other woman' that her boss would not be leaving and this made things very difficult at work now. She is worried she may lose her job.

I don't see how they can force her to leave and I do feel somewhat sorry for her, but a part of me really believes she's only reaping what she's sown. Her DC, particularly the younger one have built relationships with this man and she has allowed him to play a huge part in their lives. They always knew he was married, but they are obviously upset by all this.

OP posts:
Vallhala · 18/04/2011 20:38

What Hatesponge said. No-one deserves to lose their job because of their sexual relationships unless those relationships are illegal or the person is an MP who got into pariliament on a pro-marriage manifesto.

This man has had an affair with his secretary, been caught out and now had a 9 uear affair with another womsn which culminated in him leaving his wife and then returning to her?

I would put a large bet on that he will screw around again, if not with the latest woman than with another and his marriage won't last another 6 months.

Bogeyface · 18/04/2011 20:49

I would put a large bet on that he will screw around again, if not with the latest woman than with another and his marriage won't last another 6 months.

You are right about him screwing around again Val, but I disagree about his marriage. She has put up with him screwing one secretary, has now had him back after a 9 year affair and I honestly think that she will stay with him when he does it again :(

Silly silly women. I cant help wondering what he has that makes all these women behave in such a stupid way! He must have something special somewhere!

CarefulWithThatAxeEugene · 18/04/2011 20:51

Why would she lose her job now? According to the OP this is the nth time they've split up.

They might get back together yet again, who knows.

niceday · 18/04/2011 20:55

I think so, in a way.
The world is a fair place in the end. She reaps what she sows; so does he and his wife.

BelleDameSansMerci · 18/04/2011 20:58

Bloody hell... Compassion free zone, OP?

zest01 · 18/04/2011 21:07

Agree with Stewie on all counts. All 3 of them, him, wife and ow, sound like they have issues tbh.

ohmyfucksy · 18/04/2011 22:15

If the wife keeps hanging on to him, despite him fucking his secretary and having a 9 year affair, then I can't think of any reason for it apart from wife liking the money/lifestyle. Surely there can be no love left.

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