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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Little boys weeing in public...

126 replies

MrsFruitcake · 18/04/2011 14:45

Am I being U? Something someone said on another thread got me thinking about this.

At Kew Gardens on Friday, a little boy, probably about 4 or 5 had taken his pants down and was weeing into a bush in full view of his mother and her friends all sitting very nicely on a picnic blanket. We had to walk past on the path and he was about 2ft away from us.

Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned, but if your child needs to pee, you get up and find a loo, don't you? Not continue chatting with scant interest in what your beloved children are up to...BTW - the loos were very close, I know, because DS aged 3 saw the little boy, wanted to have an alfresco wee too and was told no, we'd find the lavs. Hmm

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/04/2011 19:51

... I expect you do but by the same token, I don't think a 3-year old is a 'baby'.

schmee · 18/04/2011 20:03

There used to be a woman at our (small, urban) local playground who encourage her son to have a wee there as they were leaving, which seemed to me a bit disgusting.

We carried a pottette with us everywhere when the boys were potty training, but now they are older we don't bother. So actually you are more likely to see us weeing against a tree now age 4 on the very rare occasions we get caught short, rather than when they were two and we'd have the necessary equipment with us.

Sometimes I'd rather wee in the wild than use a public loo though...

IAPJJLPJ · 18/04/2011 20:04

I carry an empty juice bottle (think Oasis) and my DS wee's in that. Screw the lid on and dispose of appropriately.

Very handy when standing in a que and not being able to leave

4madboys · 18/04/2011 20:05

whoever said about making the little girl go before we came home from school... when we pick our kids up they are sent OUT to us and they and we are then NOT allowed back in the school building unless we go round and sign in and get a visitors badge etc, total palava and tbh most of the time the kids dont need a wee then, the thing is we then hang around (when weather permits) and play on the playing field etc for a while, they may have a snack and a drink whilst we sit and chat. then we have the walk home that is at least half an hour depending on pace of various children, toddlers, occasionaly one of the kids will need a wee on the way home, we go across a big open field, so there are trees, bushes and if busting then they may wee there.

i think ds2 has had to do it once? and ds3 the same, my friends dd doesnt seem to have a very strong bladder (she has been to the dr and been told she has age appropriate bladder control) so she does end up weeing on the field, its not ideal but better than her wetting her pants?

and re potties, yes i used to take one with me when training but would then tip wee out in a bush etc? not much difference is there, with boys it is easier to let them pee in a bush, i will be potty training ds4 this summer and will undoubtably take a potty out with me, along with spare clothes etc, but occasionally there may be need to pee against a tree, it happens, not on a regular basis but its not big deal.

i would make mine do it discreetly however and not near anyone picnicing!

smokinaces · 18/04/2011 20:11

I am amazed at how many people think this is ok.

I have potty trained 2 boys, both at 25months, and neither of them have ever peed in public like that. The only time DS1 did was when they shut the M1 and we were standstill for 4 hours - so at 30m he peed on the hard shoulder. But thats it. In a public park where there are toilets? Not on. You wouldnt expect a 3 year old to pee in the garden at nursery or a 9 year old to wee on the field at school, so why in a public park?

OP YANBU

Ninx · 18/04/2011 20:12

ZacknJakesMuma you are welcome. It is a known phenomenon.

The new driers are fucking scary!

smokinaces · 18/04/2011 20:20

ZacknJakesMuma

I used to have to go in the toilet first and turn the handdryers off at the wall before DS2 would go in! Didnt take long for him to get over it, but was a nightmare when he was scared of them!

Sassybeast · 18/04/2011 20:22

4madboys - porta potties have a plastic liner (I re use plastic bags) and then stick a sanitary towel in the bottom which soaks up the wee. Tie the bag and put the whole lot in a bin.

KatieMiddleton · 18/04/2011 20:23

I get fed up with seeing this in Kew Gardens. There are loads of toilets and they are on the whole clean and tidy.

On a walk with DS the other day there were a load of mums and little ones enjoying the sunshine in the school holidays. One of the mums said loudly " right time for a wee" and then proceeded to take each of her children (aged between 3-7 I'd guess) to some long grass. The woman even had a loo roll FFS!

The loos were a whole 5 minute de-tour away though Hmm

Real emergencies are different. Planning to be a lazy slattern regarding your dc's toileting is just horrible and anti-social.

4madboys · 18/04/2011 20:30

sassy you would do that with WEE?! jesus what a waste of landfill space and crap for the environment, a plastic bag and a sanitary towel going in the rubbish for a wee which can easily be tipped into a bush, or down a drain!

letting my boys wee in public is not something that they have done very often but in the odd emergeancy then yes and yes this summer when ds4 is training my plan is to have him naked in the garden and if letting him wee against our plum tree a few times helps convince him to come out of nappies then thats fine by me.

once trained NO i dont in general let my kids pee in public, there are enough public loos about that they dont get caught short, but some kids do. mine have all had big bladders Grin but some kids dont and i dont think a child weeing in public is a major crime as long as its done discreetly and out of the way.

what kate middleton describes is NOT ok. if there are toilets nearby that are clean etc then we use them, asi am sure most people do.

Sassybeast · 18/04/2011 20:40

Yeah - on the 6 or so occasions in nearly 10 years of parenting when we've genuinely not been able to find a loo and the kids can't wait -I've added a plastic bag and a sanitary towel to the worlds waste mountain.
Kids peeing in public is minging and will remain minging until I'm too old and incontinent myself to judge Wink Especially in scenarios as the OP descibes when it's far from discreet. Oh and kids being told to pee on the sand on the beach - at least put them in the sea you lazy slatterns. Sand and pee sandcastle anyone?

duckypoo · 18/04/2011 20:41

So it's better to put countless sanitary pads and plastic bags into landfill, than let a bit of harmless wee be absorbed by grass Confused.

thederkinsdame · 18/04/2011 20:49

YABVU OP - how the hell do you know when the child was potty trained. I wasn't aware that children come with badges to tell them how long they've been dry?

As has already been pointed out to you, the child may have a medical condition, or a disability. For all you know, he might still be potty training, as are many of my DS's peers (SN) Undoubtedly, had he peed in a potty you would have posted 'AIBU to expect a 4YO not to use a potty'

As long as he wasn't taking a piss in your handbag, I'd suggest you get a grip and look the other way.

MollieO · 18/04/2011 21:30

I tipped the wee away in the nearest loo. There's a novelty! A portable potty stops the OMG panic they're going tonset themselves if I don't find a loo worry. Once pee was done we'd go off to find a loo to dispose of it.

milliemae · 18/04/2011 21:37

Outside the chippie the other night, big pink stretch limo pulls up. 3 girls, real slappers, get out & totter on heels into the alley next door & pee behind the bins.

One then comes into the chippie, grabs some napkins & runs out bellowing to the others "I got some napkins to wipe me mooie (not a term I'd ever heard before)!" & off they go.

4 year old boy in the park? Piece of cake!

zest01 · 18/04/2011 21:53

I let my DC's wee behind a tree when they are caught short with no loo nearby. Obv would use a loo if there was one close by so OP yanbu in that regards but in general I don't see what all the fuss is about and will continue to allow mine to do it if they need to.

There are far worse things than weeing behind a tree imo!

NotaMopsa · 18/04/2011 21:57

agree with shatner

DOGS slash all over the shop

small children should really not be criticised for it

doley · 18/04/2011 22:00

Think about all the truly disgusting things that people despose of in public ...a little bit of wee is not going to cause any harm is it ?

It is not setting the children up for a lifetime of peeing everywhere ~it is a quick simple measure taken when they are small .

Kids pee has no smell/and is clear ~my kids anyway ...no big deal .

Ninx · 18/04/2011 22:06

Little boys piddling with parental supervision compared to this from grown men with none. Ugh.

Ninx · 18/04/2011 22:09

Weirdy Japanese voice-over but you get the gist.

WhoKnowsWhereTheChocolateGoes · 18/04/2011 22:28

I don't think it's a problem at all so long as it is discretely into a bush and no older than about 4 or 5.

RedbinD · 18/04/2011 22:42

At least he wasn't having a shit.

pigletmania · 20/04/2011 09:51

If there are loos relatively nearby than they should be used, how else is the child going to learn acceptable behaviour, if no loos than discreetly behind a bush is fine

pigletmania · 20/04/2011 10:01

Apparently urine, especially male urine us good for plantsSmile. though it's disgusting to see grown adults/ teens peeing in view, if they are so desperate than they should be discreet about it. I understand some adults do have bladder issues, if the sdlternative is wetting themselves they should go discreetly in public

ilovesprouts · 20/04/2011 10:07

seen plenty kids having wees in drains etc ,dont bother me better than wetting in there pants