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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Little boys weeing in public...

126 replies

MrsFruitcake · 18/04/2011 14:45

Am I being U? Something someone said on another thread got me thinking about this.

At Kew Gardens on Friday, a little boy, probably about 4 or 5 had taken his pants down and was weeing into a bush in full view of his mother and her friends all sitting very nicely on a picnic blanket. We had to walk past on the path and he was about 2ft away from us.

Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned, but if your child needs to pee, you get up and find a loo, don't you? Not continue chatting with scant interest in what your beloved children are up to...BTW - the loos were very close, I know, because DS aged 3 saw the little boy, wanted to have an alfresco wee too and was told no, we'd find the lavs.

OP posts:

doley · 18/04/2011 16:16

I have no problem with little ones doing this ...maybe 5~6 yrs old ?

Somewhere private (as much as is possible ;))

Older ones find it easier to hold ~time to find a loo or get home :)

reallytired · 18/04/2011 16:16

Maybe the little boy was a very tall three year old. Or maybe the queues for the ladies were ridiculously long.

How would you have felt if the little boy had used a potty in the bushes?

Prehaps you are lucky and you have found potty training a breeze.

bristolcities · 18/04/2011 16:26

I really can't see the problem. Wee isn't dangerous, its a normal bodily function and little boys willy are not offensive, so whats the problem? DS does it occasionally and hasn't developed a taste for it because it is not sensationalized, it is neither good nor bad but just some thing that has to be done some time.

chipmonkey · 18/04/2011 16:31

Small children have a habit of telling you they need to go only when it's urgent don't they? Ds3 even does it at home. Myself and dh often have to say "Ds3, you're doing the wee-wee dance, toilet NOW!"

I do try to be discreet when out and about but sometimes there isn't enough foliage.

Pandamoanium · 18/04/2011 16:32

Our ASD son went through a phase when he was being potty trained where he insisted on weeing in every shop's toilet that he could find. Then it progressed to every park!

FlamingJamie · 18/04/2011 16:34

I've got two boys. I don't think it's OK fora child to wee in full view if it can be avoided. Behind a tree is fine.

anonandlikeit · 18/04/2011 16:37

when ds1 was about 4 he asked to go to the loo.
We were in a small gift shop, so knowing his dad was waiting outside I told him to go outside while I paid (not wanting him to pee his pants in the shop).

I was so embarressed when i went outside to find he had taken me at my word.
Got to the shop doorway, pulled down his pants & peed all over the pavement.

I naturally denied all knowledge of him walked past & left dh to sort him out.

4madboys · 18/04/2011 16:37

well i am hoping that the lure of an alfresco wee against a bush or a tree will be what encourages my ds4 to get OUT of nappies, so this summer i shall have him naked and positively enourage him to pee on the plants! seriously he is totally capable of controlling his bodily functions and tells me that he is going to wee/poo etc and sometimes runs around saying i need a wee! but refuses to not do it in a nappy. if needs be i will get one of his elder brothers to wee against a tree to show him!

seriously sometimes when out kids need to pee, iwould expect older ones to go to the toilet, but if you are in park, or somewhere where there are trees/bushes and they are desperate then let them go and wee.

we have a 30min walk home from school and my friends little girl who is 6 quite often ends up needing a wee and her mum just sort of lifts her up with knickers down so she can wee on the grass, it looks a hastle tbh, i am used to boys hwo can just pee against a tree but am sure dd will give me this delight also when she is older.

pranma · 18/04/2011 16:56

Under 6 I reckon its fine if they pee into a bush or down a grid-older than that they should find a loo or wait if possible.However anyone who finds the sight of a small boy peeing offensive should never ever go to Brussels

soverylucky · 18/04/2011 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainbowinthesky · 18/04/2011 17:03

Is it really a big deal? A 4 year old has a pee in a park. Mumsnet seems to be getting so boring nowadays.

FlamingJamie · 18/04/2011 17:15

I think I agree with you soverylucky

IloveJudgeJudy · 18/04/2011 17:28

See, now, 4madboys, I don't understand why your friend doesn't make her DD go to the loo before she leaves school in the afternoon. Surely as 6 yo can wait 30 mins before having to go to the loo again.

Also, I understand if little DC have to go, but they could do it discreetly, couldn't they - not in full view of everyone passing.

I'm with LyingWitch. I do think people seem to be dirtier, somehow. When I was little we were shocked when we went to France to see grown men peeing. We had never seen that before, but now you see it relatively regularly here in the UK. I'm sure part of it is the take a bottle with you everywhere culture.

blackeyedsusan · 18/04/2011 17:32

buy a porta potty... they are fab

Sassybeast · 18/04/2011 17:33

Grim. I hope all you al fresco piddlers plonk your picnic blanket in a patch of stale urine this summer. It is pure laziness - my neighbours '9' year old boy pees in their front garden. Wtf is that all about ? For potty training kids and those with genuine bladder problems, buy a porta potty. For anyone else, stop being so bloody minging.
PMSL (excuse the pun) at the poster from Venice justifying public wees. Cos like - the air in Venice is SO sweet - hygenic, immaculate city not!

ZacknJakesMuma · 18/04/2011 17:34

My little boy is just three. He has been potty trained for a year but has an abject fear of noisy hand dryers in public toilets. He says he needs a wee, we take him to a toilet if there's one nearby, get inside and without fail he panics and refuses to go. The choice then is let him have a wee outside somewhere descreet, or let the poor little guy wet himself and get upset. WWYD?? YABU.

MoonGirl1981 · 18/04/2011 17:40

Public toilets are often filthy. I think behind a bush or tree or corner of a car park is fine.

MrSpoc · 18/04/2011 17:41

Op what would you do if you where on a country walk miles from anywhere and needed the loo, would you go behind the bush? I know I would. It is as natural as breast feeding

soverylucky · 18/04/2011 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrSpoc · 18/04/2011 17:53

Op never said that there was any toilets close by or have I missed that bit?

Sassybeast · 18/04/2011 17:58

You missed that bit Spoc...

FirmBottom · 18/04/2011 17:58

What about pregnant women? Do we also have a lisence(sp?) to pee?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/04/2011 18:00

Unbelievable...

ZacknJakesMuma... If your boy needed to go, he would. He wouldn't be able to hold it in. If he were my boy, we'd wait, and wait. What happens when your boy is a man, what will he do then when he's at work and there are hand-driers installed?

MrSpoc... Defecating is natural, anytime, anywhere... is that ok with you al fresco too? It's ok for adults too? Whatever they want to do - as long as it's a natural body function, it's ok?

Beautiful public spaces, neighbours walls, your gardens, anywhere? Nothing off limits just as long as the precious DCs and DHs etc. aren't restricted in their body functions.

I really do think some people are dirty, I'm absolutely astonished at how many mothers think this is fine. :(

bemybebe · 18/04/2011 18:03

I thought MrSpoc is usual on the lookout for disabled toilets to use. Aren't you MrSpoc?

bemybebe · 18/04/2011 18:06

ZacknJakesMuma so you reinforce irrational fear of hand dryers by allowing your little boy to wee in inappropriate places? What about the cinemas/shopping centres where there are no bushes around? Would you go behind an icecream van?

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