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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Little boys weeing in public...

126 replies

MrsFruitcake · 18/04/2011 14:45

Am I being U? Something someone said on another thread got me thinking about this.

At Kew Gardens on Friday, a little boy, probably about 4 or 5 had taken his pants down and was weeing into a bush in full view of his mother and her friends all sitting very nicely on a picnic blanket. We had to walk past on the path and he was about 2ft away from us.

Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned, but if your child needs to pee, you get up and find a loo, don't you? Not continue chatting with scant interest in what your beloved children are up to...BTW - the loos were very close, I know, because DS aged 3 saw the little boy, wanted to have an alfresco wee too and was told no, we'd find the lavs. Hmm

OP posts:
lunafire · 18/04/2011 18:08

DS has taken a wee in a bush at Kew during one of our regular visits a few years ago so he'd have been around the same age. He tends to leave telling us he needs a wee until the last possible minute and the loos are rather far apart and it's a big place.

doley · 18/04/2011 18:10

Lying SERIOUSLY ? Hmm

What a perfect Mother you must be ?

You are making the assumption that Mums who 'allow' their children to pee in public ,do it in the main road with a flashing light attached to their little butts !

We are talking about situations where it can not be avoided ~no Mum wants to let them pee all over the place ~it is when one has to act quickly !

Surely you get that ?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/04/2011 18:18

doley... Have you read the thread? I'm not making assumptions, I'm responding to the posters who are saying this is natural and normal and what's the problem so they are letting them pee all over the place as and when.

Every little kid is going to get caught out once in a while but for goodness sakes, don't parents take the kids to the loo before they go out? Take them to the toilets whilst they're out? How can you not know where the toilets are in a public place? I'm forever scoping them out just so I know how far they are so that the kids go regularly because they're not always great at saying they need to go. It's what my Mum did, I expect other Mums did too.

Some posters are saying that they and their DHs pee wherever... that's gross. It stinks and to me, it's disgusting. Hmm

worraliberty · 18/04/2011 18:21

I think it's a definate plus to having boys

I used to stop the car during a long journey and let them piss up against my hubcaps Grin

heliumballoons · 18/04/2011 18:22

Urine is meant to be great to drink and detoxifying - why do people have a hissy fit over a small child weeing.

Yes OK, if a toilets nearby then you should use it if the child can wait. But in my experience the queues in these places are awful and not many people have the decency to allow small children/ desperate children to go first.

I'd be more upset if a dog shat on my picnic Wink

doley · 18/04/2011 18:25

lying I have read it ...most of the post has talked about kids doing it though ! Plus (imo) your post was also aimed at Mums ????

I think you sound very organized ,I am too but you have to make exceptions for the unexpected don't you ?

I will bet they don't really let them pee all over the place ,it just feels that way as they are out in public !

I have taken my boys behind trees and in alleyways (just for the record) Grin

Sorry though,if I misunderstood you !

tyler80 · 18/04/2011 18:32

I can remember my dad and my mum holding me in the squat position to wee in places where there were no toilets, so blame my parents for the bad habits I've continued!

Constantly scoping out where the public toilets are doesn't sound like it makes for a very enjoyable time to me.

I don't really care whether it's older people either to be honest, down a drain or in a bush isn't really harming anyone (only their sensibilities). When my sister lived in Spain, I never ventured out the house without encountering pensioners relieving themselves in public! Tbh I'd far rather they do that than sit at home, too scared to go out in case they find themselves not able to make it to a toilet on time.

jenniferturkington · 18/04/2011 18:37

I hate seeing children peeing in public- it's what dogs do. However, obviously if there are no loos for quite a distance (i.e. too far for a child to make it without wetting themselves) then perfectly fine to do it discreetly behind a tree I think.
In the situation you describe OP, I agree it sounds unecessary.

FlamingJamie · 18/04/2011 18:44

tyler - don't know if they still have it, but Help the Aged (as was) had a campaign for more and better public loos. Their research suggested that lack of public toilets was doing exactly that - stopping some elderly people from going out. And with my bladder control being what is is , I may well be one of them at some point ....

FlamingJamie · 18/04/2011 18:45

that said - I still maintain behind a tree, out of the way from where anyone is likely to see or sit is better in an emergency

davidtennantsmistress · 18/04/2011 18:46

grown men no that's wrong tbh, but children who can't hold it girls as well going if there's no alternative (ie no loo's near by) then where's the harm? and yes I do ask DS when out before we go & even get him to try but he's the sort of boy who won't need to then goes and has to go straight away - i'd sooner stop & let him go at the side of the car than I would him be humiliated by wetting himself, or indeed getting a very bad tummy from holding it all in. (he doesn't have a poop when out thou if there's no loos only pee)

megapixels · 18/04/2011 19:00

I agree that it's pretty disgusting to see people urinating with abandon whenever they feel like it. I think in a lot of cases it's not a "can't wait" situation but more of a "why wait?" sort of thing.

I have only girls and they have never done it outside, they have no problem waiting because they know there is no option of weeing on the street/park/bush like cats and dogs. Strangely enough even DD2, who seems to need the toilet every hour at home, has never needed to go in such a hurry that we'd had to let her go outside.

backjustforaminute · 18/04/2011 19:11

Well here in rural France grown men wee wherever they like, at the side of the road etc. They turn their back to the traffic but it's pretty obvious what they're doing. Strangely, women always seem to manage without doing this.

Ninx · 18/04/2011 19:17

ShatnersBassoon Mon 18-Apr-11 14:53:36

Dogs piss wherever they like, so a little boy aiming into a flower bed is of no concern to me.

My son has SN and if he can ever manage that I will be so pleased. Especially since grown men don't do much better sometimes Hmm

MollieO · 18/04/2011 19:18

The potty training excuse is a poor one imo. When I potty trained Ds all of 3 years ago I took a portable potty with me when we went out. Reading this thread makes me wonder if they've been discontinued. Strange as it was convenient and easy to use.

ZacknJakesMuma · 18/04/2011 19:26

Uh excuse me??
LyingWitch Bemybebe ??

I am not reinforcing my child's fear of hand dryers by allowing him to wee outside if he gets upset. He is three. He will grow out of it.

It is absurd to suggest that I should wait it out while he cries his eyes out to the point of hysteria so that the terminally uptight among us do not have to have their sensibilities affronted by the sight of a baby weeing in a bush.

Get a grip, seriously.

doley · 18/04/2011 19:28

MollieO then you tip the pee away I presume? Confused

Then for you ,it is just the 'act' of peeing then ,not the pee itself ?

Ninx · 18/04/2011 19:28

Fear of hand dryers is very common and has been noted by charities advocating for children with SN and especially because they have recently become SO LOUD!

ZacknJakesMuma · 18/04/2011 19:31

Thank you Ninx :)

mouseanon · 18/04/2011 19:33

I've managed to get through potty training 2 children, one girl and one boy, and can count on one hand the number of times either of them have been so desperate that a wee outside was necessary. I make them go before we go anywhere, esp if I know there are no handy toilets. Also make sure we all have comfort breaks while we're out. It's not rocket science.

I also don't understand why people accept it more with little boys than little girls. My boy was way easier to train than my girl.

DoodleAlley · 18/04/2011 19:38

I think people need to relax about this. Surely we all want to raise our children to become adults who aren't scared of monsters (or hand driers - I know that to most two year olds they are virtually indistinguishable), be polite and punctual, read, write, eat a meal without spreading it on all four Walls and the ceiling and generally function within society.

But it's a process. Like all processes they have their hiccups. Sometimes the food ends up on the wall, sometimes monsters lurk under the bed and sometimes they can't make it to the toilet in time.

It's hardly a war crime.

Maybe the toilets seemed close from the OPs perspective but to some children it might as well be from coast to coast.

Since potty training DS I've realised just how far away toilets now are that seemed very close. And if it's in a park I might choose to use a bush rather than upset a boy who knows he doesn't like accidents.

And he has pee'd into a bush next to a seemingly useable toilet which was filled with a muddy dog being cleaned and stopping us use it.

Sometimes things look very different from another's perspective....

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/04/2011 19:39

ZacknJakesMuma... We all parent differently. I personally think it is reinforcing a fear, you don't. That's fine, we can agree to differ. Just because I don't like seeing people weeing here there and everywhere doesn't make me uptight, it's dirty and I don't like it.

tyler80 · 18/04/2011 19:44

My take on weeing in the garden at home is it's the environmentally responsible option, fertiliser for the plants and less water wastage through no need to flush - I'm not a lazy parent, i'm saving the planet Grin

berylmuspratt · 18/04/2011 19:47

I was out shopping this morning with DS, we nipped up an alleyway so he could have a wee - very discreetly. As the nearest toilets were 15 mins away, I thought it preferable to him weeing in his pants.

ZacknJakesMuma · 18/04/2011 19:50

Dirty Maybe if it's drunks weeing in telephone boxes. When it's tiny children, I'm afraid I think that's OTT.

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