to ask if you have plans for eccentricity in your "twilight years"?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

After a conversation with EduStudent, I'm currently working on a plan to have a skill that will delight my DGC but horrify my DC for my GreyBristlyYears.

It may involve toads and only eating food beginning with C.

What will be your peculiarity?

I shall become a permanent houseguest. I shall spend my pension on fine things that leave me with no money for food, so I shall drift between family and friends arriving just in time for whatever meal happens to be ready.

I shall give perfect advice to my daughter on how to raise her children, yet sneak them treats when she isnt looking and teach them to play poker when they're in primary school. She will be furious with me.

It'll be great!

The last time I went to a nightclub (which was for a friend's hen night and quite excrutiating in itself) there was a lone old man of about 70, frugging out on the dance floor all by himself. He had some intersting moves, I can tell you. He provided hours of light entertainment for all the groups of twenty somethings, and I was highly delighted because if it were not for him I'd have been the oldest person there.

So: Lone frugging with dated and unsuitable dance moves in the local young people's nightspot is highly recommended as a potential outrageous activity for OAPs. Preferably wearing something inappropriately young as well.

Was it Nicky Haslam, Fellatio?

One of my elderly relatives lived in a hotel and kept coming down to breakfast wearing no clothes and carrying a whip - which rather upset the other guests. (She used to keep a pack of beagles in her youth and apparently the whips were standard kit) She was one of the less eccentric members of the family.

LWW I know an old chap of 80 who behaves exactly like that. He sweeps in and out of places very grandly, being charm personified, all louche and dandy and dressing like something out of Brideshead revisited, speaking in RP, wearing things like capes, and monocles and suede brogues . He has never done a proper days work in his life I don't think, but has had a succession of heiresses and rich widows to prop him up. He does a good impression of a penniless member of the gentry, but he is actually from working class northern stock! He's always tapping family members for money but he has lived the life of flipping Riley.

My DCs were showing him my DHs iPad and he said (imagine Leslie Phillips speaking now) 'Oh that's simply marvellous. Can I access the Google?'

My kids thought that was the greatest thing they'd ever heard.

Dancing in public is the most effective way to embarress your teenage kids...I do it all the time. The most effective places are TESCO New Look and HMV....I don't really care where I do it...I quite enjoy it! :)

We all need to watch this for notes on how to do this properly. Big Edith (Bouvier) and Little Edith (Bouvier Beale) were undoubtedly the experts at this sort of thing. Until you've put food out for the racoons and skunks that live inside your colonial New England mansion, and had the council try to evict you for being a health hazard, you are just a lightweight eccentric.

Little Edith knew how to dress as well. She wore skirts on her head, tied nattily at the back, and she used to walk around the house in a swimming costume and high heels doing baton twirling, whilst her mother stayed in bed singing badly to old 78 records. Way to go Ediths.

Also Mr Trebus was a world class professional and we should all be watching his work again, and taking notes.

I'm totally adding a cape and a monocle to my fantasy now, Fellatio
And I shall dye my hair and wear turbans and fezes and will be dripping in (costume) jewellry.
He sounds faaahbulous, dahling.

I've given it some thought, and decided that in upkeep of tradition (see above) I should learn to fart Rule Brittania. Nice mix of long and short notes, plus my GM was french, so just following suit (and hopefully not following through).

Ideally I'll also mainly ride around on a horse, perhaps surrounded by a pack of rescued and lovingly tended and ever so well behaved Staffordshire bull terriers.

I'll also have enormous fun with selective senility a la the nan in Sopranos.

Hey yes everyone!

Lets buy an old `Routemaster, someone else can drive and I will drink the proscecco and wear the stripey tightts, possibly on my head, as I wolf whistle Latin American Hotties!

It'll be a bit like "the Motorcycle Diaries" in reverse!

Then we can ship the bus to cape town and drive back up Africa (they won't care about my lack of licence so much there!)

I am planning on avoiding all people except dh and the dcs.

I am currently working on how to manage this, bearing in mind that I will need to visit certain places such as the doctors or the hairdressers

I dislike people and don't want anything to do with them anymore