to ask if you have plans for eccentricity in your "twilight years"?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

After a conversation with EduStudent, I'm currently working on a plan to have a skill that will delight my DGC but horrify my DC for my GreyBristlyYears.

It may involve toads and only eating food beginning with C.

What will be your peculiarity?

When I get old enough to move to an old person's home I am going to spend all day in my room playing violent computer games, drinking gin and smoking a hookah.

I shall also have a small terrier who wees on people's shoes.

I can't wait! It's going to be amazing!

I intend to be like my landlady. She's late sixties and mostly sports jeans and a leather jacket. She dyes her hair bright orange, wears pink lipstick and bright blue eyeshadow. She's always saying how fabulous things are as well.

She's ace.
I may add a few cats to this mix.

Enough with the cats, en masse they smell and are awful.

I like Hidings suggestions. Also MrsChemists' old lady sounds wonderful.

I will wear far too much make up and be very grand in the manner of a Dutchess down on her luck.

In fact I aspire to be exactly like this

MrsChemist Right that's my Plan B sorted.

I often wonder if rest homes in a few decades will be full of wildly inappropriate talk about the relative merits of different rave venues and class A pharmaceuticals and what the staff will make of it all.

I am going to eat condensed milk out of a tin with a spoon. It is heavenly.

I am going to travel the world and send video blogs back to my family
from various exotic locations after jack daniels o clock , preferably
from anywhere that has a wild cat problem they can follow me everywhere I go .

I've always aspired to be like Pippi Longstocking and feel that old age might be the time to do it. I'll have the long pigtails/plaits (don't know yet if they'll be grey or if I'll dye them Pippi ginger), stripy leggings, and live in a house with a horse.

Unrelatedly, I'll finally indulge in all the shouting/ranting that I'm currently too polite/young to dare to do, and tell people exactly what I think of them for playing their music on the bus, talking in the cinema etc actually already do that last one. I'll also openly letch over admire pretty young men already do that too and will go up to them and explain how attractive they are and precisely why.

Finally, tequila o' clock will be observed every day and every morning that I wake up and am still alive will be celebrated with a good prosecco.

I'm going to be the mad cat lady off the Simpsons.

Can i do hats instead of cats? I don't like cats

I plan to dress in tweed (think Margaret Rutherford as Miss Marple) with a host of dogs of varying size and indiscriminate breed. I shall walk them round the village in a rampaging mob (off their leads, natch) and brandish my walking stick at anyone who objects. Visitors to the house will be greeted by the dogs thundering down the hallway and throwing themselve (in a friendly slavering manner) at the front door. I shall survive on Battenburg cake and medium-rare steak, and drink homemade Elderflower wine from a pint mug.

Not that I've thought about it. Much.

I have a friend in her late 70s. She has a very controlling husband who dictates everything. Her grandaughter was getting married and he said she could go and bought her her plane ticket. Then, 3 weeks before, he changed his mind and said she must cancel the ticket. She didn't.

She left him a note to say she'd gone to the hairdressers and went and caught the plane to Australia. The worm turned!!

My Aunt has sheep in rural Scotland (as well as a complete menagerie of animals inc a pot bellied pig) and she is the one that people stare at envy of the village when she walks her sheep to the vet's on their leads. She's also great for spinning their wool and making very garish fluffy mats with wonky humpty dumpty's sitting on very red bricked walls. It is commonly acknowledged that she has single handedly turned the vets, which used to be a rather ramshackle shed, into a gleaming glass fronted wonder complete with a reception, thanks to her complete inability to put any of her collection down. She also has 3 diabetic cats that she has to inject on a regular basis

Personally it all sounds like rather hard work to me. I'd be happy with a Victorian perambulator full of fags and booze. Sod the dolls. Thus ensuring when I rock up to friends houses (or at bus stops/supermarkets etc) there is always the possibility of a party.

If my DH dies before me I might embark on a programme of geriatric deviant promiscuity with random strangers I will meet on the internet, that will make your eyes pop out of your head. And I''l keep a diary of it to leave to my eldest granddaughter.

In fact even if DH doesn't die before me, I might do that anyway. It's got to be better than lawn bowls.

Fellatio - you must stipulate in your will that the diary is to be read, in it's entirety, at your funeral

I may become a Goth. Full on, <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=gothdating.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/goth-girls.jpg&imgrefurl=gothdating.org/tag/gothic-girls&usg=__RRzfpeNptvS31cOMmUsRJwrw0tc=&h=548&w=400&sz=69&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Pflwh2lvAj0nLM:&tbnh=156&tbnw=113&ei=NCSsTf3oH5GwhAfXoYGoCQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgoth%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D685%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=502&vpy=90&dur=150&hovh=263&hovw=192&tx=134&ty=139&oei=NCSsTf3oH5GwhAfXoYGoCQ&page=1&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Goth

Gotta be a good look for an octogenarian, non? And these <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.bluebanana.com/shopimages/products/normal/6422_new.jpg&imgrefurl=www.bluebanana.com/product.php/45557/78/new-rock-boots-style-591-boots--black-purple-&usg=__s8zdXNSaldCAv_laVYt3Pgqq4lk=&h=350&w=350&sz=53&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Y9qa1esl4HfzXM:&tbnh=138&tbnw=138&ei=qiSsTZKXOpOxhQfS5PCjCQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dnew%2Brock%2Bboots%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D685%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=897&vpy=204&dur=396&hovh=225&hovw=225&tx=117&ty=120&oei=qiSsTZKXOpOxhQfS5PCjCQ&page=1&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">shoes are a must!

Titsalina,
Yes to fur coat and huge amounts of lippy - and many sightings at the clinique and ysl counter. House of Fraser usually.

I am planning lots of big hats. But my plans are very bland compared with huge cat flaps and shed man.

I am planning to be towed about the streets in some sort of cat chariot. The chariot will be painted in tartan patterning. I will poke my nose into other people's business like I do already.

you, me and the bearded lady.

I'm already there !
No vast change required to be honest.

Tartan Cat Chariot? Fabulous!

Someone should put all these ideas into a poem. It'd make that one about wearing purple look so tame.

instead of being an old woman with cats il be an old woman with guines pigs.

oh and im looking forward to weeing into a bag when im very old.

Just imagine the young pretty things looking after me in my home, rather than talking to them i shall just go quiet and fill my bag! mwah ha ha ha