Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU To ask my partner to sell his iguana?

111 replies

ihatecbeebies · 17/04/2011 12:42

My 4yr old DS and I are about to move in with my partner (his place is much bigger than ours so we chose his place over ours) but about 6 months ago he bought a 1 yr old iguana. Am I being unreasonable to ask him to sell the iguana before we move in as they grow to 6 foot, are very dangerous and this one certainly isn't tame, I am worried about the risk to my very curious DS.

OP posts:
carriedababi · 17/04/2011 14:40

show your numbnut dp this

chickchickchicken · 17/04/2011 14:51

wamster - "Loyalty to pets=loyalty to humans"

completely agree with you

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 17/04/2011 14:52

"I have been sitting here trying to be kind and not equate an Iguana with Wayne Rooney personally. "

I'm not a big fan of any reptile but do you have to insult the poor Iguana? Wink

Grin
Pliff · 17/04/2011 14:55

How could you fall in love with a man who keeps an Iguana as a pet? They're not friggin pets they are wild animals.

Selks · 17/04/2011 14:58

No way would I want to live with an iguana, after reading up on them cos of this thread, let alone have a small child live in the same house.

YANBU at all.....but perhaps should have broached the issue earlier...

NonnoMum · 17/04/2011 14:59

Just don't move in with him.

Find yourself a nice chap who isn't such a... weirdo...

midori1999 · 17/04/2011 15:03

I have 20 years experience of keeping Green Iguanas. I kept 5 in that time, all until they died of old age/illness/natural causes and had a fair few rescues in and out during that time too. So, I have a fair bit of experience with them.

Yes, they are specialist animals with specialised housing and dietry requirements. An awful lot are kept incorrectly and the results for the animal if this is the case can be fatal, but when kept properly they are very rewarding animals to keep, although I would never class any reptile as a 'pet'.

Green Igaunas can be extremely aggressive when adult and are not for the faint hearted. A lot end up in rescue for this reason and due to their adult size and for the same reasons responsible reptile shops will not sell them any longer. That said, I have dealt with some very aggressive animals and never been hurt badly.

Adults need a room sized enclosure, which must have an adequate ambient room temperature and several hotspots, plus ideally a pool large enough for them to fully submerge in and climbing/basking areas.

ALL reptiles can carry salmonella, so good hygene must be practiced when handling them or dealing with their enclosures. There's no reason this should be a risk to children if good practices are followed. I personally would keep an aggressive adult iguana in the house with children, but I wouldn't have it out around children if it was aggressive beyond what was normal as a precaution.

I would never, ever, in a million years allow an adult iguana free access to a garden. They can be very quick and it would be fairly easy for one to escape. They can get their UV requirements from artificial sources and a garden is unlikely to be warm enough even in summer for an iguana. I also wouldn't have one free roaming in my house. These are wild animals that are not domesticated and IMO it would cause undue stress to the animal. They tolerate handling, but they never like it. They are not pets.

Vallhala · 17/04/2011 15:11

Thank you for the information midori, it's always interesting to learn about different species. :)

Your remark about salmonella reminded me of something I wanted to point out which was that Iggys are by far not the only way of contracting it. Likewise humans can contract toxoplasmosis from cats but that doesn't stop hundreds of thousands of us owning them.

I still can't see the attraction in owning reptiles, but that's a different matter... :)

chickchickchicken · 17/04/2011 15:16

(val, midori - have you seen post about dog trainer? i am Angry. sorry hijack)

Wamster · 17/04/2011 15:33

Well, iguanas sound as if they are kept by two types of people:

1, The extremely responsible
2, Well-meaning but irresponsible people

If your dp is the former, I can't see him being the sort of person who'd just give up the creature just like that- I really CAN only think now that when he bought the creature he had zero intention of you moving in.

If he is the latter, I wouldn't be so keen on moving in with him

I think you are in no-win situation myself. Just live apart and hope the creature dies of own accord. You'll feel glad but not guilty as you would have had no role in its demise.

saffy85 · 17/04/2011 17:17

YANBU to be concerned imo but YABU to expect/assume your DP will get rid of his pet. By all means ask your DP if he would consider ditching his pet (I think that would be hugely unfair to ask personally) but be prepared for whatever he says to cause an arguement.

My DP got rid of his iguana because it "upset" his ex girlfriend so much and she refused to live with him while he had it. He gave in after much emotional blackmail and has regretted it ever since. Although this is probably because it was then a constant stream of "nooooo! Don't get a motorbike/dog/whatever I don't liiiikkkeee them!" Not saying you're like this OP but just bear in mind that if he does get rid of the iguana so you move in you may have it thrown back in your face once or twice. Depends if your DP holds a grudge like mine.

GypsyMoth · 17/04/2011 17:26

have you asked him op?

PlopPlopPing · 17/04/2011 17:44

How long have you been with him? I just wondered if you were together before he got it as then you would have to wonder why he thought it would be a good idea to get a dangerous pet when you have such a small child! (assuming the relationship was serious)

ihatecbeebies · 17/04/2011 18:16

Thanks for all of the replies, it has been good to see the different opinions. I haven't demanded to move in with him, we both decided that we'd like to live together and were originally going to move in to my place but then decided to stay at his instead as it is bigger. I have spoken with DP and he agrees that it wouldn't be fair for the iguana to have a small child running around the house and may cause it distress, and he also agrees that it will pose a threat to DS if he can't tame it down either, we have found a very good possible home for the Ig too so we are just waiting to hear back from that, as for me not speaking up a few months ago when he bought the Ig I did protest and he had assured me that the Ig would be tame although now it isn't looking likely.

Plop- we've been together for 2 and a half years,

Vallhala- I wouldn't really compare rehoming a reptile they've had for 4 months with asking someone to dispense with their child...I think there are completely different levels of emotional attachments there. Although I kind of understand where you are coming from, I do believe that he doesn't have the same attachment with his Ig that he has with his cats for instance, I wouldn't call his iguana his beloved pet and I think the attachment you have with a reptile is different from that of a mammal.

dragonfly- he is a student just now so has a lot of free time, he has to spend a few hours every day trying to tame the Ig but had expected it to tame down by now, it isn't out of complete adoration that he spends this time with it but more out of trying to train it. He starts a new job next month 9 - 5 which is also another factor, he wont have that time and commitment to spend with it trying to tame it down either so his Ig would be quite wild.

springlambkin- I have wondered the exact same thing!

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 17/04/2011 18:21

Out of interest OP, why did its former owners get rid of it?

It sounds like your DP got it on a whim without realising what he was getting into because even just a basic google will bring up loads of information about green iguanas and their needs and behaviour. I would be instigating a "no pets to be brought home without full discussion and agreement" rule when you move in so he doesnt turn up with a snake one day!

ihatecbeebies · 17/04/2011 18:27

it was a pet shop he got it from, they were selling them at 1 year old. He had researched it a lot and thought he could handle it but he does impulse buy a lot with pets....

"I would be instigating a "no pets to be brought home without full discussion and agreement" rule when you move in so he doesnt turn up with a snake one day!"

Funnily enough after the iguana talk today one of my (most important) agreements of moving in with him was that we both discussed him buying any more new animals as he also bought a Boa Constrictor and has realized that he can't handle that either and has now today called our friend who has a lot of snakes to give it to him.

OP posts:
nijinsky · 17/04/2011 18:44

Actually I'm beginning to hope that for the sake of the iguana your partner does rehome it. The alternative of being unwanted, having an uncertain future when older and living in unsuitable accommodation are worse. Poor iguana. Why do people buy exotic pets with no long term plans in mind? They like the idea of it but not the reality, and its always the animal that suffers when they get fed up or their lifestyle no longer suits it.

My only experience of an iguana is the one that was left in a tiny cage in one of my rental properties.

I do however have horses, and when I buy a new one, I always think what am I going to be doing with it in 5 years or 10 years time.

lljkk · 17/04/2011 18:52

Toxoplasmosis isn't half as nasty to humans as salmonella is (on average).
I couldn't live with a 4yo and an iguana unless I liked the iguana an awful lot. They are very high maintenance & hazardous "pets".

PlopPlopPing · 17/04/2011 19:58

You DP is very irresponsible with pets! He needs to think things through! It's not fair on the animals for them to keep being rehomed. He also needs to be more responsible considering you have a child. How the fuck did that not occur to him when he got the iguana and the boa?! Aren't you worried about this? This man is going to be step dad to your child!

thefirstMrsDeVere · 17/04/2011 20:02

nijinsky when I was a ponyless 8 year old I had a pretend horse called nijinsky . He was lovely....

bleedingstill · 17/04/2011 20:05

YABU and need to learn how to use apostrophes

Bogeyface · 17/04/2011 20:11

Yes bleedingstill...cos thats the real issue here Hmm

OP, I think that you do need to consider whether he is mature enough to be living with a young child if he doesnt consider the fact that a large and aggressive lizard living in the same house might not be a good idea!

As plop says, he does seem to be very irresponsible and it makes me wonder if he is the same in other areas of his life too. How is he with money? These animals are not cheap, and to spend hundreds on one only to get rid a few months later does not point to good financial management, animal welfare notwithstanding! Is he in debt? Are his bills paid etc?

Please do be careful and make sure that you are not dependent on someone so flighty.....

thefirstMrsDeVere · 17/04/2011 20:15

PMSL @ random visit from the apostrophe police Grin

bleedingstill · 17/04/2011 20:19

no, the real issue is yabvu

here have some loo roll

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 17/04/2011 20:27

I can't believe it's legal to own these as pets in the UK - it seems extraordinarily cruel :(

I am glad he is rehoming both the Ig and the Boa.

Other than the cats, what else does he have Hmm

I have to say though, he sounds incredibly immature and unless you are both still teenagers this would seriously worry me. Are you sure you want to give up your own place just yet?>