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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To ask my partner to sell his iguana?

111 replies

ihatecbeebies · 17/04/2011 12:42

My 4yr old DS and I are about to move in with my partner (his place is much bigger than ours so we chose his place over ours) but about 6 months ago he bought a 1 yr old iguana. Am I being unreasonable to ask him to sell the iguana before we move in as they grow to 6 foot, are very dangerous and this one certainly isn't tame, I am worried about the risk to my very curious DS.

OP posts:
Cymar · 17/04/2011 13:35

YANBU to ask him, but I think YABU to expect him to get rid of it. Like any animal, iguanas will do what comes naturally to them, especially when it comes to territory and encroachment, more so with other male iguanas around. Besides, they generally eat things like salad leaves, fruit, mealworms, or the odd housefly etc.

IME iguanas can give a sharp nip, but then again, so can dogs/cats/hamsters etc, and an iguana is less likely to draw blood.

squeakytoy · 17/04/2011 13:36

I know lots of people who keep igunas, and have children..and have never yet known one that has grown to 6ft! or anywhere near it...

NorthernGobshite · 17/04/2011 13:36

YABU.
As long as it is well kept and your ds is aware that it is not a toy then I can't see the problem. Its his house and you have chosen to move in. You should have objected six months ago.

ChaoticAngelofchocolateeggs · 17/04/2011 13:37

I wouldn't ask him to get rid of it but I'd refuse to move in while it was there.

felicity10 · 17/04/2011 13:37

Cannot believe that people think you are being unreasonable. Surely your partner is going to understand that now you are going to all live together then he will have to make some changes.

Never mind, love me, love my lizard....how about love me and my son! Do you know anyone who would like the lizard, then he can go and visit it!

BabyDubsEverywhere · 17/04/2011 13:39

Val i normally agree with you all the way, but you simply cannot train an iguana, not to a safe standard around a child. nor an adult for that matter but they get a choice and can be blamed for their own actions / risk taking. iguanas are amazing animals, and can be fab pets, but they are a massive commitment to look after properly. a viv will never be big enough, these pets need their own locked bedroom. they need to have a safe garden to roam in the daytime, (summer) a child could not be in the same area AT ALL. they turn to bit the hand that feeds them - literally. my friend spends tonnes of time with hers, after 4 years she has still being bitten by her ig, its just part of ownership. but not something that i would keep in the house with an under teen - at least!

grovel · 17/04/2011 13:39

Valhalla, even the Iguana Society say that they are unsuitable housemates/pets for children. An added complication is that they have salmonella in their fecal matter so really rigid hygiene is required (not a child's speciality IME).
Apart from that, at least we put 3 past the Baggies. And if the iguana was named Osgood, Zola or Kerry, I would have a radically different view.

Goblinchild · 17/04/2011 13:40

They only thrive if the conditions are right squeakytoy, and over a period of years. That's why iguanas in zoos are so large. They aren't a different species, just properly looked after.
The only solution is to talk to your partner and see what sort of decisions you can make together.

Vallhala · 17/04/2011 13:42

Having had a skim through Iggy advice - including training them - I must apologise TO AN EXTENT as I now see that they're more challenging than I'd have given them credit for. (I'm a mammal rescuer, largely dogs, not reptile expert).

BUT... as I said I have 3 large dogs. I can say this of them:

  1. I knew the potential problems when I took them on and am convinced that I can deal with any but the most unexpected.
  1. I would NEVER get rid of my dogs unless it was TOTALLY unavoidable (eg serious ill health, homelessness). I don't understand or respect those who do or would.
  1. I would love another German Shepherd but I know that I WOULDN'T be able to care for a 4th dog adequately. I do not believe it's reasonable to take on an animal without doing a great amount of research and without being as sure as possible that you can care for it. I like wolves, would love to own one but know they are not compatible with domestic life and 2 DC and that I or they would come a cropper - therefore I don't seek to have one.
Xales · 17/04/2011 13:43

Wow have you seen the temperatures they need? I just read that link!

Who is going to pay for a room to be permanently at those temperatures etc with todays gas/electricity prices?!?!

Bogeyface · 17/04/2011 13:45

Valhalla, you cant train a fully grown iguana! As the info I posted states, they are not "pets" as such. Its more a case of the owner keeping a wild animal than owning a pet. They are dangerous and not recommended in a house with a young child, so the OP isnt being at all unreasonable to ask her DP to get rid of it if he wants her and her child to move in. The 2 cant live safely in the same house!

Vallhala · 17/04/2011 13:47

Grovel, I think I love you. :o

Up the Blues!

Sorry, I digress... I read here - webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:wmMrAsE4Zv8J:www.greenigsociety.org/taming.htm+green+iguana+dangers&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=uk&client=firefox-a&source=www.google.co.uk that it is POSSIBLE to train an Iggy.

As I said I'm no reptile expert... I know sod all about them. Closest I've ever been is having a live Boa put round my neck in Brixton market!

I still think it's very inreasonable to ask or expect anyone to get rid of their pet though, just as much as it would be to ask/expect them to dispense with their child.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 17/04/2011 13:48

Xales their diet is also a massive expense, if they are fed properly - which they rarely are :( amazing creatures though :)

Original poster
ihatecbeebies · 17/04/2011 13:48

Under the correct conditions Iguana's will reach 6ft, the majority of the Iguana is tail. Unfortunately there is considerable debate about Iguana diet (Cat food, animal protein) and this is partly the reason why they don't reach their full adult size. With the correct temps and diet they are a formidable animal.

Some Iguana's can never be tamed (EVER) they are fight or flight animals that is something that needs to be taken into consideration. My partner spends hours everyday with his Iguana and it still tail whips him and is fairly aggressive.

OP posts:
Vallhala · 17/04/2011 13:48

Inreasonable??? Eh???

Or UNreasonable, even!

Bogeyface · 17/04/2011 13:48

Sorry Valhalla, didnt see your post!

GypsyMoth · 17/04/2011 13:51

he spends hours with it everyday.....why have you not addressed this with him previously,he's clearly keen on them

what about when he's at work?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 17/04/2011 13:52

Its not a dog, Valhalla, its a reptile, you can't train an Iguana like a German Shepherd, and if you can't understand that they can be very dangerous to children, you shouldn't be commenting.

Are you worried that its poor little reptile feelings will be hurt?

chickchickchicken · 17/04/2011 13:54

OP - you said he bought the ig 4 months ago. presumably you were a couple then as you are now thinking about moving in with him together with your ds. i would be concerned about someone who would buy such a pet when he was dating a woman with a young child. is he someone who just discards living things when no longer convenient? is he someone who doesnt think about the consequences of his actions? is he fickle? seriously i would not move in with someone who could buy a pet and then rehome the pet just a few months later as that would give me warning signals about the type of person he is

springlambkin · 17/04/2011 13:57

Hmmm.

Well, I don't think YABU.

But I do think I would be questioning my relationship with my DP in these circumstances.

If he only bought the iguana four months ago I would think that either:

  1. He hasn't researched it properly and doesn't know the dangers about having it around a small child; or

  2. he doesn't take your relationship seriously so has gone ahead and done something that that jeopardises you living together (possibly purposefully?); or

  3. He doesn't give a crap about your child.

Any of those scenarios would give me second thoughts about the relatiionships tbh.

chickchickchicken · 17/04/2011 13:58

in an open forum anyone can comment cant they? Confused

springlambkin · 17/04/2011 13:58

"My partner spends hours everyday with his Iguana and it still tail whips him and is fairly aggressive"

I am itching to ask what he gets out of owning it! But don't want to offend any iguana owner on here Grin

springlambkin · 17/04/2011 13:59

Yes chick chick anyone can comment, why?

chickchickchicken · 17/04/2011 14:01

winterofdiscounttents - "if you can't understand that they can be very dangerous to children, you shouldn't be commenting. "

was referring to above comment. sorry should have made that clear

Vallhala · 17/04/2011 14:02

"Its not a dog, Valhalla, its a reptile, you can't train an Iguana like a German Shepherd, and if you can't understand that they can be very dangerous to children, you shouldn't be commenting."

I'll comment where and upon what I fucking well like, thank you very much. Hmm

If you'd bothered to read my post you'd have seen that I APOLOGISED for having commented without knowledge of the species and had already made it clear that I lack that. I also linked to info which says you CAN train Iggys and how to do so although I can't of course vouch for its accuracy.

I am perfectly at liberty to maintain the view that a pet is not disposable and that the OP is being unreasonable to expect or ask for him to be rehoused.