I can't afford the trappings of a working class lifestyle

[defeatedslug]

I can't afford xboxes or nintendos for the kids. We don't have a plasma telly of any size. We don't have cable or satellite TV. The kids don't have bikes. We don't have whizzy mobile phones. We don't go on overseas holidays, not even a week on a package holiday, and can barely do youth hostels in the UK. The kids don't have the latest, greatest, trendiest clothes. Their stash under the Christmas tree is pretty conservative. The kids wear hand-me-down clothes including stuff from NCT sales and freecycle. We don't eat out more than a handful of times a year, and maybe have a takeaway every 4 months. We have two very run down and battered cars. We don't smoke. DH drinks maybe 3 or 4 beers a week.

I dress the kids neatly, get them proper fitted shoes, smart school uniform, take them to the library and museums, feed them properly, make sure they're healthy. We both work, and pay a mortgage, and nursery fees. I'm not trying to start a daily-mail-a-thon benefits bashing thread, and I know there will be people that immediately start criticising, but it seems something isn't right that you can be hard-working and be materially less well off than people who don't work - there's not going to be much of an incentive to come off the benefits, is there?

I have namechanged but am regular btw (cod, rivers of sweetcorn, nice ham etc)

You have described how we lived when DC were small. I got all clothes for DDs at car boot sales. My mum used to give us food parcels and buy the DCs shoes, we never went on holiday, my DH and I had about £5 each a week for spending money, when our TV broke we didn't replace it for about 18mths.
It is hard, but as Dc get older and you hopefully climb up the ladder at work, you will earn more money and beable to afford more.
We look back at that time with affection now. We were "poor" but we were blooming happy!

I wanna know how much the OP household earns.

I am wondering why the OP think she deserves to have a better life than the working classes.

Just because she happens to be middle class?

Fucking working classes coming round here with there work ethic and highlighted hair. Going to work and spending their wages on plasma tvs whilst the poor OP has to live in noble and genteel poverty.....

It's just so awful being a hardworkingtaxpayer, what with working class people such as Wayne, Waynetta and the Waynettes all chavving around waving their wads in our faces, having their mid afternoon barbecues and trips to Caribbean beaches and big tellies. WHICH WE PAID FOR!

Sometimes my innate sense of middle class righteousness is not enough on its own to keep me warm at night, so I have to pile on an extra hairshirt with a layer of sanctimony on top.

These working class people who smoke fags, watch telly and drink beer (and sometimes even appear on Jeremy Kyle and Trisha just because they are not at work all day so they can) are just living lives of joyful abandon and wallowing in luxury- witness their gold jewellery. It breaks my heart to see how they are frittering OUR money away.

But I would in NO WAY be wanting to start a Daily Mail benefits bashing thread here, not at all, how could you have got that impression?

Darth it's better than they deserve, because they are just so common.

Actually, as someone who didn't grow up in this country and maybe has less class sensitivity (as defined by British standards, anyway), I think that the things mentioned in the OP are the trappings of the working class.

75% of people in this country think they're middle class. Some of those people are upperclass but the majority work for a wage so are, really, when all is said and done working class.

Gadgets, holidays, cars and the like are the trappings of lifestyle that those who work expect as an entitlement. Of course 75% of the population can't afford the same stuff as there are differences in wages etc.

I know the OP is making assumptions about benefits etc but I just wanted to spin it a different way. These material things are aspired to by many, they are not "working class" aspirations. They're just very difficult for some who work to realise and yes, there are some people on benefits who appear to have many of these things "for free" (even if the reality is they are on tick etc).

It was quite common in the city where I was brought up to see people on benefits with all of the flashy items mentioned in the OP. However a lot of the benefit claimants worked for cash in hand and still claimed benefits illegally.
Loads of kids at my school had designer clothes, holidays abroad and the latest computers while their parents claimed benefits.
while (boo hoo ) we never had sky, I was never allowed designer/labelled clothes or trainers, we would go camping in Wales for our holidays. And my parents both worked full time.

it will be easier when the DCs leave home? leave home how, exactly? DD1 has been offered and then turned down a place at uni because we can't afford the fees and she doesn't want to "live in debt". Despite excellent grades, she now works in a shop to pay her way.
DD2 is very talented musically - she wants to spend a summer at theatre school and have professional photos taken and a CD made so she can audition at various places - dream on kid. Not going to happen unless you get a J-O-B to fund it. She currently works mucking out horse shit to earn some spending money.
They can't leave home because they can't afford to rent/buy accomodation. Maybe they should get up the duff and be housed by the state?
Do those of you supporting the benefit culture in the Uk actually have any experience of it? I do.
And for the record, both DH and I have claimed benefits before through redundancy, unemployment and sheer desperate need. I fully support the idea of benefits to help those in our society who NEED it. The emphasis in on need: those losing their jobs, those falling unexpectedly on hard times. I would fight tooth and nail to retain benefits in a society which cares for those who need help - I resent supporting those who have never worked and have no intention of doing so!!

dement...how much is your households yearly income?

I can't afford the trappings of a homeless persons lifestyle.

All that living in a box while other people live in two boxes. It's vile.

'Do those of you supporting the benefit culture in the Uk actually have any experience of it? I do.'

Yes.

You forget, dear OP and others, that the reason benefits are paid whether to "deserving" or "undeserving" poor, is to stop them ending up on the streets begging, and interrupting your middle class lifestyle and bursting your middle class bubble with guilt.

The government also want to keep our "caring" reputation.

Its not to actually help the poor.

How is your life different from mine then Dementedma?

I am working class and my DS1 cant find a job - not even mucking out horses. It is highly unlikely he will go to uni even though I have wanted my children to be the first in my family to go.

Let us be clear. WHO are we talking about here? The WORKING CLASSES or those that do not work, have NEVER worked and REFUSE to work?

Because I am very confused.

When my eldest DCs were small they went to a school not far from the middle class one. The children at my DC's schools were always immaculately turned out, as were the mothers. Not a hair out of place nor a sock anything less than snow white. The clothes came from the catalogue and were paid off weekly. The other school was quite different. The children were generally scruffy and wore obvious hand me downs.

I dont think the parents of these children were poorer or cared less for their children's welfare. I think the were far more confident. They were less likely to be gossiped about by their peers (not living on top of each other on an estate) and they were far less likely to be scrutinised by SS. They simply didnt feel the need to put up a front.

Like my mum who insists on not buying own brand stuff and wastes loads of food because if she economised that would be the same as admitting she was poor. And she would rather starve than do that.

Darth - point taken. let me rephrase - I resent supporting those who are able bodied and able to work, but choose not to. I fully support helping those who are genuinely unable to work for as long as they need it. I also fully support those who are trying to get work as in applying for jobs, getting interviews, volunteering etc. Believe me, i have been there, and benefits kept me alive - literally.
Mrchips - what business of yours is my income?

TheFirstMrsDevere agree with everything you say, as pretty much, always :)

Scrutiny from SS especially not a worry for the middle class school...

dement.....cause I need to gauge if you can afford the things you say you can't.

Let us be clear. WHO are we talking about here? The WORKING CLASSES or those that do not work, have NEVER worked and REFUSE to work?

Mrs deVere - don't know about everyone else, but i am talking about the latter

It is all about how you spend your money.

We have friends that earn double what we earn but we have and do more.

How old are your children, OP?

I think we need to be very careful what we say on this subject as we are likely to be the 1st generation of parents where a large %of our kids can,t get a job. I know a lot of unemployed graduates ATM I knew none 20 yes ago. Horrible thread MN has gone mad again

Really noddy? The last recession was early nineties wasn't it? Loads of unemployed graduates then I knew quite a few

But the OP said 'the working classes' dement and you have seemed to be agreeing.

No one would be unreasonable to get pissed off at lazy arsed fuckers who neve work and never want to. Thats a no brainer isnt it?

But the OP was talking about the working classes in her highly offensive post.