To think this is a load of middle class toss?

[CUKAmbassador]

Daughter is 5 next month. The wife(who doesn't work but think's that money is something that the cash point fairy just conjours up) has booked the local church hall.

4 hours at £15 per hour. OK. Sorted with that.

And hired a bouncy castle. £60. Fine with that

And booked a children entertainer and magician. £200 for two hours. WTF! £100 PER HOUR!!

And paid caterers to do the food £120!!!! WTF £120 for the a childrens * party!

£440 for a four hour childrens party!!! WTF!!!!

Is this excessive? She thinks that's what it should cost!

Sausage. Vintage love it. DS1 and DD1 dressed up in 1950s clothes at Vintage at Goodwood in the Summer. I well recommend if they do again.

Haven't read all the replies but that is a stupid amount of money. If you've got a bouncy castle they don't need an entertainer as well. Catering should only be opening a few bags of crisps and biscuits and making a few fairy cakes and some sandwiches - £50 tops. The food needs to look inviting but the children aren't really that interested in eating it!

Oh a cukker. It's like the good old days.

Nah, we used to get a better class of troll in TGOD

Not that Ambassador is trolling really, but there is a fair few of them flying around ATM.

So while all of us single mums or mums whose husbands have gone down the pub, where's 'the wife' has she gone down the pub to get some peace and quiet?

I've hired a hall and entertainer before for DS's party. he didn't have a bouncy castle and I did the food myself. BUT if I were loaded, I would much rather someone else prepared the food. If you can afford it, why not? You're keeping someone in a job by doing it after all.

Honestly, the amount of money people waste on rubbish is beyond me. OP you are not being unreasonable, your DW is a nutter!

what's wrong with calling the wife 'the wife'? I've always called the husband 'the husband' (and prior to wedding 'the bloke'). The daughter is usually referred to us 'the daughter'

I was never aware it could be seen as offensive? I just hate the saccharine DH/DW/DD etc thing.

I only had an entertainer once - he was fab, £50 for an hour (don't they get bored with 2 hours?) and didn't even charge us extra when one of his tricks went wrong as the little girl with the scissors decided to cut his hand (quite badly!) rather than the rope he was holding.

YANBU!!! (offer to do the food yourself instead maybe?!)

How much is that in dollars? Hold on.

Am back from converting...

That is unreasonable IMO.

My DP always calls me the wife or the missus. And it is not at all meant in a sexist manner, I think people are really jumping the gun and making assumptions here. My DP also calls me boss, infront of friends and family too, all these terms are meant as titles of endearment, so people know I am someone important in his life and someone who is his equal at all times. We are not married BTW, he uses these terms because they carry a particular socially recognisable meaning across the board.

YANBU - totally OTT. My youngest was 3 the other week and my friend and I decided on a joint party for her 2 yo and my 3 yo (they're cousins btw - my friend's married to my first cousin). We hired the church hall and paid £35 between us for as long as we wanted (5 hours by the time we left, as all the family stayed behind and got fish and chips whilst the kids opened their gifts), £45 on an entertainer, who was fab and did a 45 minute stint as a magician. We did biscuit decorating (digestives, icing sugar, food colouring and lots of toppings, all of which we later individually wrapped in greaseproof paper and tied with ribbon for the party bags, pass the parcel with excellent prizes - a colouring set, a bug finding kit etc), a peppa pig family photo hunt (lots of pictures hidden over two rooms, kids won a chocolate bar each); we catered for 65 people - 30 kids, the rest adults - three different types of sandwiches, rolls, fresh fruit, crisps, little sausages, tiny pasties, scotch eggs, tiny cakes, icecreams etc etc - that sort of thing - tea, coffee, juices; we had great party bags with bubbles, hair bands, putty, slides, balloons, bracelets, toy cars and lots of goodies; we bought a massive cake which was decorated with their names on and we decorated the hall with banners, balloons, matching table cloths etc. Even had matching napkins, plates and cups. How much did the whole thing cost?

£181 quid, which we split between us.
We're both SAHM and we appreciate, that although our husbands are very well paid, money does NOT grow on trees. I wouldn't have wanted to spend that much myself, and although we share some of the same family, we both invited a lot of our own friends and their families, so had the party just been for one of the kids, it would have come to less.
You need to talk to your wife. What we did was partly for us, partly for our families and friends and partly for our children. At a young age, it's rarely for the small child and more a party for everyone else. It's you asking others you care about to come and celebrate your child's life and there's nothing wrong with that. It should never be a competitive thing though. Talk to her and try to get that cost down!

How many kids are going? Cos if she doesn't want to bother with catering herself, Waitrose Entertaining do lovely pre-made rolls. The best value are (and I have used these for many parties in the past - everyone LOVES them!);
www.waitrose.com/shop/ProductView-10317-10001-24883-%27Charlie+Caterpillar%27+Roll+Platter
That has 18 mini rolls (£11) and...
www.waitrose.com/shop/ProductView-10317-10001-67304-Waitrose+Sally+snail+roll+platter
has 24 mini rolls (£13). Kids don't eat much at parties, so you could get a couple of these, open some bags of crisps, carrot and cucumber battons, chuck in some grapes, strawberries, sausage rolls and some cake thingies and there you go. That's saved you about £60 of your £120 there, and you and your wife only have to open packets!
And I'd ditch the expensive entertainer for sure. Have a 2 hour limit on the party (we hired the hall from 1-6 in the end, but over half of that was prep and clear up - the actual party was 2 hours. The kids are flagging after that. Who has a 4 hour party? They'll be a nightmare!) You could keep the bouncy castle, put some music on, pass the parcel etc. The food takes nearly an hour by the time you do cake etc. Talk to her!!!!

I remember the last mass CUK invasion too! [waves to CUKAmbassador]

This one seems much more fun.

Ridiculous for a children's party, IMHO. Is your wife feeling pressured by other mums and the parties your DD has gone to? It is a really hard one... if everyone around her is getting magicians and ponies, she will be whiningasking for them too.

I echo everyone else... you seem to resent your wife being a SAHM, and 'not contributing' financially. You guys need to talk. Resentment aint good for a marriage. [And yes she does contribute financially by keeping a household running smoothly .... ]

I don't think £440 is excessive, but you could get it down by ditching the bouncy castle. The entertainer (if professional) will not want a bouncy castle distracting the children. Also, as others said, do the catering yourself.

In fact, YOU could be the entertainer. I have seen other dads do it very well indeed - gives you something you could contribute to other than funding the cash point fairy and whinging. Gives the wife lots of brownie points over the other wives.

PMSL @ CheerfulYank.

Possibly the party needs 2 hours extra hall booking, one hour to set up and one hour to clean up? Not that the hall booking is the excessive cost.

I agree about either magician OR bouncy castle (and a few of your own party games). Deffo not both.

Well, Xenia is always on about how easy it is to earn 100 quid/hour, "anybody" could do it as a children's entertainer, so I guess that is what they cost.

A good entertainer will make it a super party, though. I tend to vote you have the magician & ditch the bouncy castle. Catering is up to you, I don't mind spreading margerine on 90 pieces of bread, but some people would rather stick pins in their eyes. Do those costings include a smancy-dancy custom-made cake? Can easily spend 50 quid on one of them, too.

DD/DS/DH is not Saccharine, Widowwadman, it's ironic.

If the entertainer is really good then you really shouldn't need anything else, especially as you said they are bringing a disco. Small children just like running around like loons given a big space, so I don't think you need the bouncy castle too, in fact it would probably be a bit of a distraction. The plus point about a good entertainer is that it should make the party a great deal less stressful (perhaps even fun :))

Small children at parties often eat very little (too busy running around like loons) so I'd not spend a lot of money on party food that will probably be wasted. But I wouldn't buy ready made sandwiches either because on the whole this age group like things very plain. So simple sandwiches plus nice party snacks from somewhere you like and you should be able to cut the price significantly.

We live amongst SW London excess and this party for 20 five year olds is excessive by our standards.

Hall: Yes
Bouncy Castle: Yes (and 60 is very good value)
Magician: I'd save it for 6 year olds
Catering: No - a few sarnies, crisps, party rings, veggie batons, strawbs and grapes takes no more than and hour and, including the cake, shouldn't come to more than 40-50.
Party Bags: balloon, cheap toy, 10p packet haribos, piece cake, let Poundland rule (40 tops)

Church hall here and bouncy castle would be more around here at probably 100 a go but I could have have hired the bouncy play part of the local leisure centre for 120 and kept this under 200 six or seven years ago, probably 250 now.

Money not much of an object here, so yes I think the budget for this party is excesssive. We have done riding parties, laser parties, paintballing, swimming and theme park parties for less than you are spending.

Have you thought what you are going to have to do for the 18th if you spend that much at 5yrs!!
(I still think 5 friends at home a few party games and homemade food would have been more enjoyable for all and put the rest of the money into a university fund.)

CUKAmbassador, tell your wife she doesn't need the bouncy castle if she has an entertainer. Honestly!

She could do the party food herself (hell, even I can do kids party food) it cost me £60 for the last party I threw.

She hasn't told you haw much she's spent on the cake yet, has she. Or the party bags.

I think £300 is to be expected for an all class party, TBH.

Oh, and to everyone who is going on about a 4 hour party, I'm pretty sure the party will be 2 hours long, with an hour each side for setting up, clearing away.

Agree with onceamai. I live in sw London and done exactly same. Hall yes magician or bouncy castle not both. Def not caterers that is v ott and a tad lazy ? Easy to get waitrose platter or do self, party bags - cheap toys and sweets yes. I have 2 children and their parties are expensive but by the time they are 9 they want sleepovers and pizza so nice and cheap !

Op your so funny, have you only taken this much interest since she asked you to write out the cheques?

Bloody ridiculous. What sort of 'expectations' will they have at 12 if you are spending an average family's monthly shopping bill at 4? Competitive parenting gone mad. Your wife needs to take a look around. Kids do not remember these parties either they remember the ones that were just normal ime. All the clowns and activities are knackering. What is wrong with a picnic in the park/garden and letting them play for an hour