Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that even if you have no money, you need treats?

135 replies

NettoSuperstar · 14/04/2011 20:35

I'm prepared for a flaming over this.

I've no money, none, in debt up to my eyeballs and no way atm of paying any of it off, yet in the last couple of weeks, I've spent money on a couple of books, and used all the points on my Boots card on make up.
I also sometimes buy takeaway, though that has to stop now, as I really can't manage that any more.

It's shit being skint, proper crap, and the little treats are what get you through the day.

What is £3 when you owe £10K?

Grin
OP posts:
PlopPlopPing · 15/04/2011 16:10

I think if you cant live one week without a "treat" there is something wrong with you.

I didn't know we were talking about 1 week?!

breathing · 15/04/2011 16:12

Well the OP made me think she meant once a day tbh

breathing · 15/04/2011 16:13

and then each week...£5 a week?

bemybebe · 15/04/2011 16:21

lijkk "What is £3 when you owe £10K?"
I dunno, I suspect that's the sort of attitude that ends you up with 10k of debt. "Look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves" is just as true."

Could not have said it better myself.

Cymar · 15/04/2011 16:25

Pinkfluffyprincess you've hit the nail on the head for me. Paying off my debts first was a priority and came well before treating myself. In fact I didn't have a treat for about 2 years until said debts were paid off. I am one of those people who don't need treats to keep me happy- just seeing the amount I owed go down was enought.

If I don't have the money in the bank for a treat, then I don't have it - simple as that. I don't wear make-up, nail varnish, read books (apart from cookery/gardening/survival/science books, the last book I read was in school 20yrs ago).

PlopPlopPing · 15/04/2011 16:29

Cymar So you didn't buy any cookery/gardening/survival/science books in those 2 years? Not gardening tools, seeds, plants, cooking utensils etc?

thomasbodley · 15/04/2011 16:30

What bemybebe said.

Financial incompetents rarely get out debt.

They go bankrupt and onto benefits and we poor sensible sods who believe in budgets and self-denial end up paying to look after these spolit self-indulgent "poor me" whiners.

Laquitar · 15/04/2011 16:55

We are not talking about treating yourself 3 weeks in Bahamas!

OP was talking about £3 occassionally.

Yes you can live drinking tap water, eating porridge, never go out, never buy a nail varnish. It is ok for short term. Long term it will be very dull and joyless. It is soul destroying.
In the end of the day if you deny yourself every joy you could sink to depression and it wont help you pay off the debts, it will lead to more debts. If a nail varnish cheers you up, takes your mind off the problems even for 10 minutes, if nice nails boosts your confidence, then it is beneficial. If you look after yourself it will be more likely to increase your income.

Laquitar · 15/04/2011 16:58

breathing you never have a treat? Something that cheers you up?

MoonGirl1981 · 15/04/2011 16:59

Have you guys been watching SuperScrimpers: Waste not want not?

Is on 4OD.

Quite interesting.

Few stupid ideas (cleaning a pointless empty silver pot with a banana skin because it's cheaper than silver cleaner - just don't buy the stupid pot), but some of it is really sensibe!

thomasbodley · 15/04/2011 17:04

Sorry Laquitar, I don't agree.

You don't "deserve" treats to make yourself feel good about debt. It's that mentality that got you into debt in the first place. Treats should be used to reward achievements, not failures.

I earn a lot of money but I still live within a budget. It's what being an adult is all about, surely.

diddl · 15/04/2011 17:06

"OP was talking about £3 occassionally."

But surely that is 3GBP too much if you haven´t got it?

thomasbodley · 15/04/2011 17:06

Take some responsibility for the choices you make.

Especially if you're paying compound interest on your bad decisions.

A grown woman buying a Sweet Valley High because she didn't want to borrow it from the library? FFS.

IAmTheCookieMonster · 15/04/2011 17:10

a lady on there cleans her loo with value cola, i'm going to try that one!

bemybebe · 15/04/2011 17:13

First of all it is none of my business how people manage their money. If they ask me anyway, here is my opinion.

Points on Boots are money, because they have exactly the same status as cash, credit/debit card payments and cheques (do they still do them?) in Boots. In the country called "Boots" points is their currency. Treating points as anything else is misleading (not least to yourself). If one have accumulated 20 GBP worth of points and spent it on make-up it means they spent 20 GBP on make-up.

There is nothing wrong with treats, however, one should be careful that treats that cost money prevent one from getting out of debt sooner. It is the logic of maths. £3 pounds here and there starts adding very quickly if out is out of control (NOT to suggest that OP is).

Do we always have to pay for something to feel better/special? What is wrong with a nice walk, talk, library, going to a variety of free public events for treats?

IAmTheCookieMonster · 15/04/2011 17:19

I bet all the people on here saying "I don't need any treats" aren't on the breadline themselves and can have a cup of costa-lota-coffee or new shoes whenever they like.

Having a small budget for extras will stop you impulse splurging later on. And people who are in debt for poor financial management will be in even greater need of a treat budget for that precise reason.

We are in 8k debt and have a financial plan to sort it out by this time next year. We don't have money for extras but little things really do make you happy and that lifes not so bad after all. I am also lucky to benefit from a mother who likes to "do lunch" and takes me out whenever she comes round.

breathing · 15/04/2011 17:29

laquitar no, i dont buy "treats", Buying things doesnt make me happy.

Cymar · 15/04/2011 17:31

Nope. Nothing. Went to work, came home, had dinner, went for a walk/watched TV and went to bed. Repeated the same routine for 2yrs until debt was no more. TBH, it didn't bother me at all. As long as I had a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes, heating and good health, that's all that mattered.

diddl · 15/04/2011 17:32

"Having a small budget for extras will stop you impulse splurging later on."

But doesn´t that suggest an inability to control yourself & just say "no, I can´t afford it"?

I think it´s sad that some people can only cheer themselves up by spending money that they don´t have.

Laquitar · 15/04/2011 17:35

thomas no, i didn't say 'to feel good about your debts' or 'reward yourself for your debts'. I said 'to feel good so you can hold on there and perhaps even increase your income.

bemybebe · 15/04/2011 17:38

CookieMonster I hope your "I don't need any treats" comment is not about me. Smile

It is a very well known economic phenomenon (cannot remember what it's called, it is almost 20 years since I am out of the uni) that people feel measurably more hardship in comparison to others at the same level of spending, having been previously at a higher level of spending. Hope you can make the gist of what I am trying to convey. If one realizes that it is actually in our human nature to feel that way when we feel the pinch and cut back, it makes it easier to manage and do not need mindless treats (again NOT referring specifically to OP).

Laquitar · 15/04/2011 17:40

breathing fair enough. I'm a bit like child, i like treats, a book, a muffin, a bath cream, a caddle, a new frame anything.

breathing · 15/04/2011 17:43

Im not a treat person.I dont like little nicky nackies either so wouldnt thank someone for things like candles etc. (well I would because Im not rude, but you know what I mean- what an odd saying that is) I get pleasure from time, nice days, watching my happy child...simple stuff. Genuinely.

Laquitar · 15/04/2011 17:46

I believe you breathing, i 've got a friend who's like you.

breathing · 15/04/2011 17:46

bet she? is difficult to buy presents for