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Original poster

To think that even if you have no money, you need treats?

135 replies

NettoSuperstar · 14/04/2011 20:35

I'm prepared for a flaming over this.

I've no money, none, in debt up to my eyeballs and no way atm of paying any of it off, yet in the last couple of weeks, I've spent money on a couple of books, and used all the points on my Boots card on make up.
I also sometimes buy takeaway, though that has to stop now, as I really can't manage that any more.

It's shit being skint, proper crap, and the little treats are what get you through the day.

What is £3 when you owe £10K?

Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
NettoSuperstar · 14/04/2011 23:54

I prefer painting my nails Expat!
I'm vain Grin

A1980, I'm a sentimental old fool, I adore books, and if I enjoy one, I hate to get rid of it.

OP posts:
mummytime · 15/04/2011 09:13

Get rid of Moshi Monsters, she can go back to having free (btw the cards are one of the most expensive ways of paying).
There are lots of free treats - time without kids, a walk in the country/park, playing with the kids, watching old DVDs.

If I had that kind of debt, I would be trying very hard to find out how to clear it as fast as possible. Possibly becoming a bit obsessive. Can you take in foreign language students for the summer? Can you sign up with a babysitting service? Can you ebay anything?

We do all need treats in our lives, but they don't have to cost much. Good luck!

jeckadeck · 15/04/2011 09:22

Depends what you mean by "treats" and what the psychology is. You're absolutely right on the face of it that three quid on some make up is nothing if you owe thousands. That won't do any harm. But its the underlying attitude which you've got to look at. As someone who has been in serious debt (still am in debt but its now more under control), I think spending and the head-in-the-sand attitude to debt is an addiction like booze/gambling and you've got to get the underlying attitude under control before you can really change it. If you're budgeting properly, prioritizing paying off your debts/family/important stuff, and then afterwards buying a bit of make-up once in a while that is fine. If, however, you're doing it regularly as a way of not facing up to the bigger stuff and burying your head in the sand then perhaps you should see it as a symptom of a bigger problem.

Laquitar · 15/04/2011 09:25

Buying the book thu feels different than borrowing it from the library. It feels like proper treat.

Laquitar · 15/04/2011 09:33

OP what do you read? If you message me your address can send you 2 books because i need space. I will wrap them nicely to feel like a treat Grin

lljkk · 15/04/2011 09:41

"What is £3 when you owe £10K?"
I dunno, I suspect that's the sort of attitude that ends you up with 10k of debt. "Look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves" is just as true.
But if treats are somehow necessary, I suggest a strict budget for them, just as other suggest.

PlopPlopPing · 15/04/2011 10:05

Think I'm going to try the budgeting for treats thing. Sounds sensible.

nethunsreject · 15/04/2011 10:11

Sure, treats are nice. But if you are getting into debt for them, it isn't really a treat is it?
Bigger treat is being in control of your money.
I know because I got into debt years ago. Ended up treating myself as a distraction form the debt. The amount I owed wasn't huge, but it was more than I could afford.

Living within your means and trying to budget for the odd treat feels much better.

Also, treats can be (almost) free - a long, deep, hot bath, visiting a friend for a coffee, cuddling up with your dh/dp/dc and enjoying a film on tv.

nethunsreject · 15/04/2011 10:13

And we do, as a society(and I include myself) have a real senes of entitlement problem. eg, I work hard/am ill/am tired/am bored/ so therefore I shall buy something for myself. Your treats needn't be material. But it is hard to change that mindset.

thaigreencurry · 15/04/2011 10:17

I have one bottle of wine a week that we can't afford. My children have presents at christmas, after school activities for the eldest and we buy real coffee. If we gave up these treats it wouldn't make a huge difference to our finances and our treats make us happy.

SolarPanel · 15/04/2011 10:18

Treats are nice of course but debt is a big worry. Have a look at www.moneysavingexpert.com for tips.

sparkle1977 · 15/04/2011 10:21

I agree that its very hard to live without any treats you just have to sensibly budget for what you can afford.

On the book thing, what books do you read OP ? I like buying books too but they only get one read then get given to friends, charity bagged, car booted etc. Sure I can send some your way if we like the same things.

Might look on the "book" type threads, would be a good idea to start a book sharing sort of scheme. I bet there are loads of us buying new books all the time when we could share other peoples instead.

SolarPanel · 15/04/2011 10:23

You could post a "wanted - books" on Freecycle.

SusanneLinder · 15/04/2011 10:35

I help people in debt, and have to budget myself for various reasons. I factor a small amount of treats into people's budgets.

If I want to splurge a bit, I ebay something. I agree with the library for books,or even table top sales or car boot sales. In fact car boot anything you don't need and use most of the money towards your debts,but keep some back for a treat.

Re takeaways, I find my local Indian does a BOGOF midweek,so I either have that ,or sometimes just freeze it till the weekend.But that's VERY occasionally, I can't justify £20-25 for a takeaway (for 4 of us)

I started getting recipes of the internet for different meals-batch cooking and getting the storage dishes from pound shop.Hey presto-ready meal, and will have scoffed it by the time your local takeway has delivered it.

Something I did recently was get a few friends round for a clothes swapping party. Everyone brought a snack and a bottle of wine,chucked DH out for the night, and everyone had to bring round stuff they didn't wear,inc shoes, bags,jewellery etc. We all have those fashion disasters in our wardrobe that we thought was brilliant and didn't wear. Great fun and got some new stuff out of it.:)

Bumblequeen · 15/04/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 15/04/2011 14:51

Sell the book on! It's new, it should be easy to recoup most of the money on Ebay or Amazon.

I sell on stuff and also make little crafts to sell in flea markets to generate a little 'treat' cash.

Recently, we wanted to join our local Botanic gardens, but the fee was £38. Now this really pays out over the year as we use it loads for picnics, walks, playing (we have no garden). But it was £38 we just didn't have.

So I flogged some Kickers boots DD1 has long outgrown and some Crocs on Ebay.

I want to get DD1 a nice bday gift in June, plus a couple of little ones for the other children, so I have some more stuff on Ebay and also am making some tin can candleholders and firelighters to sell in a flea market - should being in a good £45 or so after the £5 fee for a table and materials.

pinkfluffyprincess · 15/04/2011 14:55

My treats are paying bills. I got a big rush the other day when I just managed to avoid the bailiffs by coughing up Grin. Not that I was going to let them in, of course

Laquitar · 15/04/2011 15:11

I disagree with the poster who talked about entitlement. If OP bought a designer bag every month while in debts that would be silly. But a book or a nail varnish here and there it is important while you are struggling with money. You cant repay 10k in few weeks anyway. What you suppose to do? Just existing for the next 20 years? It will make you miserable and will block all your creativity.

As long as you save on most things then you can spend a bit on others. When i was struggling i was walking to avoid the bus fare, i was cutting my own hair, i was eating value food and chickpea curry for days etc but every friday night bought a bottle of wine and every 2 month a book or cd. It kept me going.

What wise expat said about including the treat in your budget for your weekly shop is a good idea.

diddl · 15/04/2011 15:16

Actually, thinking again, no, I don´t think that we do need treats.

I couldn´t treat myself knowing that I owed money to someone else.

PlopPlopPing · 15/04/2011 15:52

diddl well aren't you perfect. Best climb back up on to that high horse of yours.

breathing · 15/04/2011 15:57

can I just ask WTF people are treating themselves for? I just dont get the concept of treats.

diddl · 15/04/2011 15:57

Of course I´m not perfect-but being in debt would worry me sick & I would feel guilty about anything I spent on myself until the debt was cleared.

That´s just me though.

breathing · 15/04/2011 15:58

Should I have read the thread first?

breathing · 15/04/2011 15:59

I think if you cant live one week without a "treat" there is something wrong with you.

PlopPlopPing · 15/04/2011 16:00

People idea of a treat is better. Like for me it is some makeup. Not fancy makeup I don't need but the basic stuff I use every day. So if I didn't treat myself at all then I would have to go years (until I'm in the black) with no make up on. I'd feel horrible! Especially as my skins a bit blotchy at the moment. So I suppose for me things I consider to be treats are more of a necessity.