To think that even if you have no money, you need treats?

[NettoSuperstar]

I'm prepared for a flaming over this.

I've no money, none, in debt up to my eyeballs and no way atm of paying any of it off, yet in the last couple of weeks, I've spent money on a couple of books, and used all the points on my Boots card on make up.
I also sometimes buy takeaway, though that has to stop now, as I really can't manage that any more.

It's shit being skint, proper crap, and the little treats are what get you through the day.

What is £3 when you owe £10K?

[NettoSuperstar]

I was paying off my debts slowly, until I had to give up work in Feb due to ill health, I will start paying again once I have benefits sorted (shoot me now).
My friend is going to car boot some stuff for me too, and another friend is e-baying some bits.

I'm not extravagant, I don't buy designer things, I'm talking two books (last one I bought before that was in October), Boots points on make up, moshi monsters for DD.
I feel shit about being in debt, it keeps me awake at night, but you know what, I'm excited that my new book should be here tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to trying a new recipe (also not essential treat), and next week I'll be at the library borrowing more recipe books, and then may buy more ingredients.
That is what makes me smile and gets me through the day.

Besides what is a treat, because if you think about it, everything but the very basic food and clothes and a way of keeping warm is, and I bet that no one on here, lives like that.

[Laquitar]

She likes books so thats easy.

Or anything practical i.e. when she bought new house she told us not to buy silly frames, vases etc but diy stuff.

[Cymar]

Ahhh, but Laquitar, I don't need to spend a few quid on a treat to make me happy or feel good about myself. I spend money on practical things I'm going to use.

Put it this way I'd rather slog all out to repay everything I owe earlier, than treat myself and have debt over me for longer. The biggest high I had was when I paid the final bit of my loan (said debt). I smiled with relief and I was finally able to walk away. It was like starting a new life.

[expatinscotland]

I agree, Laquitar and Netto.

Where are all these libraries where you park up and it's full of nice, new books?

Ours is 4 miles away and closing in September.

So you don't like 'treats'? Good for you. You must look like models, too, to run round with no makeup. I look like death warmed up without it.

[expatinscotland]

I prefer to pay debt off more slowly and enjoy my life.

[LadyOfTheManor]

I hate don't and don't have any (apart from a monthly mobile phone contract). Our house has no mortgage (thankfully) and although we have an OD of £150 we have never dipped into it. I'd rather go without something and save up to buy something outright than to pay it off forever.

As for treats, I tend to bake some lovely things for DH or we have the occasional take away, or Charity shop books are 50 pence...!

[IAmTheCookieMonster]

i'm ok not having extras, its a lifestyle i got used to at uni, but DH finds it very hard not being able to do things he used to before we had DS. His family's spending ethos is very different to mine and I can see both sides. My family go very much on if you can't afford it you can't have it whereas his family, I really hate to say it, have a bit of a sense of entitlement. They do work extremely hard for their money but in low paid jobs and feel that they deserves treats. DH thinks its awful that my family buys useful items at birthdays and christmas instead of unwanted tat, but he is now getting used to me.

I like to think that DH and I have a good middle ground that we can both cope with! Some of our debt is a catalogue debt from when he was 16, I made him face up to it and we are now paying it off. I'm actually glad about it because he is now anti-credit and much more cautious about spending.

I think that having a splurging tendency isn't a bad thing in itself, its only bad if you don't acknowledge it and develop techniques to control it such as setting a small treats budget. I get my retail fix at the supermarket doing the weekly shop.

[IAmTheCookieMonster]

actually, i've never had to go without extras for longer than 3 months, its ok when you can see an end to it.

[IAmTheCookieMonster]

i've just realised what I think

"Everyone needs treats"

YES

Good for you if your treat is watching your debt going down quicker, but for some people the debt going down a fiver a week slower is worth it to buy a nail varnish. What is a treat for one person doesn't cut it with someone else.

[LadyOfTheManor]

I hate debt* even.

[PlopPlopPing]

Cymar Nope. Nothing. Went to work, came home, had dinner, went for a walk/watched TV and went to bed. Repeated the same routine for 2yrs until debt was no more. TBH, it didn't bother me at all. As long as I had a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes, heating and good health, that's all that mattered.

Hate to be picky but by the sounds of it you must have had a tv licence (which some could say was a treat) and you bought yourself clothes in that time . . . tut tut tut

[Morloth]

It's tricky, because I want to say, 'oh just go ahead'.

However, the best bit of financial advice I ever got was from my FIL who said that if you have any debt at all (even the mortgage) it is good to think of everything costing three times what it actually does, because of the interest you are going to be paying on every cent you don't pay off.

Being broke sucks though.

[expatinscotland]

A mortgage is the cost of shelter, an essential.

You can't just put your life on hold because of the cost of putting a roof over your head.

[Morloth]

It works though expat, that coffee is OK at $2.50 but not so yummy at $7.50. Sometimes you do just have it though, just because.

I haven't been properly broke since uni days however so don't know what it is like to really struggle even for the little things.

I also think perhaps our mild obsession with getting rid of the mortgage is a bit mad unusual.

[Insert1x50p]

OP

On a slight tangent, you say you have £10k of debt and were only able to pay it off slowly even when you were working. I don't think you're being realistic to expect to be able to pay it off on benefits. I'm not sure if your health problems are long term, but if so, it might be worth going to the CAB and seeing if you'd be better off declaring yourself bankrupt.

[breathing]

There is a difference between essentials and treats. For me, there is an essential level of makeup and clothing, then there is the treat level. I will buy makeup, when essential and when I run out, from the supermarket shelf as I need it to look professional for work. Treat level , to me, is when you just buy a lipgloss or lovely new eye shadow because its an extra and nice and a "pick me up". (I dont wear eye makeup anyway btw- I only have foundation, powder and blusher (1 set) and 2 lipsticks). Clothing, the same. I buy clothes when I am in dire need, makeup when Im contemplating smashing the wee glass bottle to get that last scrape out.

[onceamai]

Everyone needs the odd treat and from what the OP has said, she hasn't exactly gone overboard. Hope things look up soon OP.

[thomasbodley]

Libraries are closing because fewer people are using them, and so they aren't considered a priority.

So those of us who do use them, because we have some semblance of self-control, lose out.

OP's on benefits. It's we who are working and living within our means paying for her fucking SVH book. We lose out again.

OP is being advised above to go bankrupt. It'll be businesses like mine that lose out - our interest rates will rise yet again and unpaid invoices will have to be written off.

As a result of the selfish actions of people like this, we are ALL suffering.

So don't be fucking surprised that some people don't agree that you "deserve" your treats.

[FanjOeuForTheMammaries]

Somewhat harsh?!

[thomasbodley]

I agree Fanjo, but I'm sick to death with the sense of entitlement that some people have.

The OP seems to have no real idea of how her debts are going to be paid off, and doesn't seem to care.

And she isn't remotely atypical, judging by the contents of this thread.

Those of us who contribute to the economy and live carefully are subsidising the feckless, and I for one want it to stop.

[NettoSuperstar]

Erm, I've bought 3 books since October, I use the Library often.

I'm not on benefits yet, I have to wait for a medical assessment. I have brittle asthma, and that's why I'm not working, though I am currently still employed and have no intention of giving up my job as I hope to get back to work.
Later today I will start a course of antibiotics, I'll be on them for at least 4 months and I hope they'll make a difference, I'm also waiting for the results of a blood test I had on Thursday, and to see what the asthma expert has to say about my case.

I will get in touch with the CAB, just as soon as I've had the assessment and know how much money I'll have.

That few quid is what makes the difference to us between existing and living.

[Melly19MummyToBe]

Small treats like that are fine IMO, but what my mum's doing is completely ridiculous. She's ££££s in debt because she discovered credit cards. Credit cards are all now shredded up, they went a long time ago. But she's just paid over a thousand pounds to fly to America this summer for 4 weeks to meet some random bloke off this virtual reality internet game Second Life.

[expatinscotland]

'So those of us who do use them, because we have some semblance of self-control, lose out.'

So if you don't use a library, you have no self-control?

WTF. Ours is 4 miles away, costing a bomb to get to, has hardly any selection and they don't get new stuff in. Now it's closing. Oh, it's never been open on Mondays or Wednesdays or weekends, anyhow.

You've got a chip on your shoulder there because your business is floundering.

Sell the book on, OP. That's what you do, buy it then sell it on. Because it's so new, it'll re-sell well. It becomes liking hiring a film (surprise surprise, my library doesn't have DVDs for hire!).

Sell on anything you can. You'd be amazed what people will buy - I've put stuff I thought was nice on and got a quit, but put stuff on I considered old junk that went for a tidy sum. I had this old Hewlett-Packer calculator from the 1980s that once sold for £120!

Oh, and used shoes. Yeah. There are some seriously pervy people out there but like, who cares?

As for your debt, you don't have to go the bankrupcy route. Speak to Consumer Credit Counselling, Christians Against Poverty or National Debt Helpline for qualified advice for FREE.

[Laquitar]

Thomas i don't understand what your post has to do with OP.

• She is NOT even on benefits yet. You are talking like she has been on benefits all her life.
  

• It is not choice. She has health problem.
  

• She didn't say 'she doesn't care about the debts'. She said it keeps her awake at nights.
  

• 'Those of us who contibute..' . Who doesn't contribute in this thread?? Believe it or not you are not the only person in the country who pays tax .
  

• 'As a result of selfish actions of people like this, we are All suffering'. Don't make me laugh now. Yes we are ALL suffering because someone bought a £3 book .
  

OP, don't worry we are not starving because of your book. Enjoy the recipes and i hope the new medicines work.

[thomasbodley]

You've got a chip on your shoulder there because your business is floundering.


Floundering enough to employ 70 people, but thanks for your concern. When bad debts drive us all out of business, who's going to pay for your "treats" then?