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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to give their puppy away?

84 replies

FairhairedandFrustrated · 14/04/2011 17:51

Hear me out - I am not a cruel mother!

My sister's dog had puppies and my brother in law give dd & ds one.

We already had a 3 year old dog who we love to bits and is part of our family.

The deal when we let the children accept the pup, was that they would take responsibility towards house training her and taking her out for walks/runs etc...

We've had her 2 months now, I work 2 jobs (one which allows me to be at home in the afternoons but a very early morning start) so ideally the children should be taking the pup out for a wee/poo during the time I'm sorting breakfast, childminder clothes etc etc...

But they won't. The poor dog cries to be let out and if I let her out she disappears if no-one is with her. We live on a farm and as she's part terrier I worry about her chasing sheep... our other dog is a labrador and very good at ignoring the sheep.

The pup isn't anywhere near house trained (partly my & dhs fault as we're like ships that pass in the night) the older dog more or less looks after herself, the younger pup needs a lot more time than we have to give her.

After a stonking rown with dd (9) and ds (6) I asked did they think it was fair for the pup to have so little attention? They were arguing over which one would take her out & stay out with her (neither wanted to) and by the time dd got up to do it, the pup had pooed and wee'd in the utility room :(

I don't think it's fair, she does deserve to be with other people who have the time for her... how can I make the children see that though without coming across as cruel?

It's all very well in hindsight that we should have said no, but at the time we thought, oh well, we have one dog, what difference will another one make? But the answer is, a hell of a lot.

I have told dd & ds to think about what they want, que dd stropping and saying if we get rid of the pup she will run away.

Go easy on me, I probably am a bit unreasonable, but I thought we could cope and now I see we probably can't.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 14/04/2011 22:03

fairhaired... maybe they need to do MORE with the puppy so that it feels more like "their" dog instead of your dog and all they get to do is stand outside with it while it pees?

my 6yr old and 3 yr old argue with each other (and me) over who gets to clean the rabbits out!! so I certainly don't think they're too young to be involved in ALL aspects of care of this puppy.

i would definitely set down a timetable so that there are no arguments as well

Vallhala · 14/04/2011 22:08

Looks like you have every chance of sorting this out to everyone's satisafaction Fairhaired. I'd take a good bet that pup will learn from your Lab too, which will make training easier still. If your original trainer isn't available any longer have a word with your vet and/or local rescue. They should be able to recommend someone.

Wishing you the best of luck - I'm sure that with a bit of determination you'll soon be through the difficult weeks and pup will be as easy as your lab to deal with.

rockinhippy · 14/04/2011 22:15

You' re right in that of courseBirdsgottafly dogs are different

but I wasn't reading that the OP was expecting her DCs to do EVERYTHING for the Pup & have FULL resposibility ,

she hadn't said that, so I presumed - & rightly so by FH&Fs updates, that just like my own DD they are expected to help out & take some responsibility

I like the time table idea too, stuff like that has worked with my own DD with other things she's no so keen to help out with :)

MirandaGoshawk · 14/04/2011 22:16

I found house-training my current dog to be very hard work. At the age of around 6 months it was very trying because she chewed everything. But I stuck with her & now she's fab. I hope you are ready to put in the effort - and be prepared for taking up the slack when your children get bored with the puppy when the novelty has worn off. It is your duty now that you have made the decision to accept this puppy.

HeadfirstForHalos · 14/04/2011 22:18

Good luck Fairhaired, I hope this all works out.

BettyTurnip · 14/04/2011 22:19

Good luck OP. Valhalla - that video is heartbreaking, all those bodies in the bins and that poor little pup...has had no chance in its minute time on earth.

HeadfirstForHalos · 14/04/2011 22:22

Miranda I was at my wits end when our collie was 6 months, despite lots of attention and walks, she chewed EVERYTHING, she got through an entire table and 4 chairs

Luckily it was only a cheapy ikea set and with a bit of time, training and bitter apple spray she is the perfect pooch

It is hard work, but they are so worth it, I wish the rest of the family were as happy, easy to please and optimistic as our Millie!

claretandcheese · 14/04/2011 23:33

Could you not use different sanctions for the DC not going out with the puppy other than taking it away?

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 15/04/2011 06:47

I think the idea of making them totally responsible for the puppy was your mistake. It's too much for a 6 & 9 year old. You should have given them one job each, suitable for their age, with consequences such as no tv or something, for failing to do it.

It's also not good to wait until they're 20 before you give them ANY responsibility in anything! But you can't drop them in at the deep end either.

I see you've decided to keep the dog, if you aren't home much and didn't have time for it and your circumstances haven't changed, how is that going to work though?

You should still give them one job each re the dog. And make sure they stick to it. the earlier we introduce children into the whole idea of taking some responsibility, the better.

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