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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to expect parents to reply to party invite in the traditional way?

19 replies

TiggieWiggle · 14/04/2011 16:17

I am 32 weeks pregnant and brain not functioning forgetful at the moment and sent out DDs party invites without my phone number on. About half of the mums have it anyway and although I work three days a week am always around at the end of the day when off work.
Most people have either told me whether their child can come or not or have returned the slip but this one mum today came to me and said sorry for not replying sooner but there were no details on the bottom (meaning mobile number I assume). I said that there was a reply slip but is it too much effort to expect people to tear it off and give it to me or DD????

AIBU to expect replies. Should I send out a reminder with my phone number on a couple of days before?

OP posts:

Eglu · 14/04/2011 16:19

YABU, you are lucky that people have replied to you at all. I find most people are dreadful at even letting you know either way these days.

jamaisjedors · 14/04/2011 16:20

She still replied. Did people have to actually come round and bring the reply slip to yours then?

I would find that a nightmare.

worraliberty · 14/04/2011 16:20

But you said most people have replied?

SixtyFootDoll · 14/04/2011 16:22

She did reply though. I put my mobile number on DSs invites and had at least 8 people didn't reply, 2 of whom just turned up on the day. Now that WAS annoying

SixtyFootDoll · 14/04/2011 16:22

She did reply though. I put my mobile number on DSs invites and had at least 8 people didn't reply, 2 of whom just turned up on the day. Now that WAS annoying

alarkaspree · 14/04/2011 16:22

If most people have replied you are doing better than most party-inviters, so yabu.

Original poster

TiggieWiggle · 14/04/2011 16:22

No. Just send it in the child's book bag or catch me at the school gates. I'm usually so organised too. I guess I'd better send a note out then .

OP posts:

littleducks · 14/04/2011 16:23

How old is your dd? I wouldnt want to give a reply to a young child in case it disapeared in the bookbag, are you not on holiday atm?

I would find either a mobile number to text or an email address to reply easier, but then I'm not always doing drop off/pick up

flyingspaghettimonster · 14/04/2011 16:23

YABU. Half the time we get invites they are scrunched in the bottom of the kids' schoolbags, likely covered in crumbs and not returnable. I likely wouldn't recognise the correct parent to tell them directly, and hate ringing people so probably would just send my kid in to tell the party child that she/he could attend - the only situation I would always reply was if there was an email address, as that is far easier for me.

Why do you need exact numbers? I always just prepare for the most kids and take back any excess items later...

MumInBeds · 14/04/2011 16:26

It seems to be a universal struggle to get parents to reply at all.

The way that seemed to work for my dd's party was to have a reply slip and a stamped envelope addressed to dd in with the invite and a note along the lines of dd being very excited to get mail so if they got a chance please could they reply by post but if they didn't have time for that my mobile number and email address are ...

That is the only time I have had 100% rsvp (most but not all by post).

hocuspontas · 14/04/2011 16:26

If I don't hear I usually follow it up myself, either in the playground or cadging their phone numbers off mutual friends.

Original poster

TiggieWiggle · 14/04/2011 16:27

That's a good idea MumInBeds - will remember that for next year DD loves getting post.

I did put email, mobile and landline numbers on last year - just forgot this time.

OP posts:

MollyMurphy · 14/04/2011 16:29

I think YABU. In an age with email I can't imagine making people mail back a slip TBH. Even for our wedding invitations we created a hotmail account specifically for RSVPs and phone calls were also fine. We didn't even include a slip. I think thats a bit old hat.

At least she let you know - is more really required?

JMO.

namechange100 · 14/04/2011 16:29

FGS we are all busy, you forgot to on your mobile number the most popular and preferred choice to respond I think by most and you complain about someone not tearing off slip. It was only one person, she took the time to speak to you personally I think you need to rest and not worry yourself.

FlamingJamie · 14/04/2011 16:30

Yes, it's too much effort. I prefer to text or email party replies. Bits of paper get lost in my house ......

lljkk · 14/04/2011 16:32

I don't understand OP. What is a "traditional method"?
I hate being charged for no-shows (many venues would do this), so I can understand OP wanting correct numbers.

Reply slips are easily lost in book bags, phone messages can be erased or not passed on by other household members, much better for someone to tell me to my face than any other method.

rookiemater · 14/04/2011 16:36

I gave people lots of options, either fill in the reply slip, send me an email or a text. What I cannot cope with is parent of random child simply telling me face to face, do not have a good memory so it has to be written down.

One mum in Ds's class asked if I had received a text she sent two weeks ago to say her DS couldn't come as I hadn't replied to it and then seemed surprised when I couldn't remember off hand whilst on the way to work if her child was coming to the party or not.

However apart from that minor incident got replies from all bar one, who I then texted to check and she apologised profusely for not having responded.

januaryjojo · 14/04/2011 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mitochondria · 14/04/2011 16:52

I'd need a phone number. My husband does dropping off and picking up, and I am lucky if he actually passes on invitations. He'd never manage "returning slip to x's mum" as he has no idea who anyone is.

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